should i stay or move on

[wrongchoices]

Hi all,
I am so confused I thought I would ask for advice from people on here as I have no1 I can turn to for help..

I will try and keep it short,
I have always been shy when it came to girls, at school girls would like to date me and I would say no becuase I was too scared (sounds weird saying it now!), I had a few relationships and the furthest it went was kissing each other.
I had my first proper relationship at 24 and I was soo happy, we went thru alot in a short time and she was there for me alot.
My gf led me to believe she was a virgin like me and when we did have sex, it felt perfect, I thought I was in love! I wanted to marry her.
A year went by and I found out she slept with her ex who was an old friend of mine and I was soo hurt, now I know its not a major thing they had a relationship for over 5 years before we met each other but at the time I was hurt and I felt I couldnt marry her becuase I cant get over it but I stayed with her hoping I would get over it.
I ended up cheating on her 2 years into our relationship and we broke up.
I was selfish and I wanted to experience sex with another girl (my gf hasnt got the perfect figure) but also keep my gf...
I ended up having a relationship with this other girl for nearly a year - I was taking each day as it comes and managed to cheat on 2 girls for a year, I know its soo bad and I really hate myself for it now.
I got caught but the girl I cheated with stayed with me and forgave me.., me and my gf broke up and she moved on, after 4 months she contacted me again not knowing I was with the girl who I cheated on her with and started telling me she cant get over me and im the one for her..
Me being selfish I got with her and didnt tell any of them and started to have 2 relationships again, but this time I only wanted the one, my first love( first gf) but was scared to end it with the other one because of how she would react so I waited for her to leave me and acted like a bad bf.. it didnt work and I got caught again..
This time for the final time my gf forgave me (original one - stay with me on this!) and said nomore lies, and I changed my number, email adds etc and stayed faithfull...4 months gone by and im now 27 whilst typing this and I am confused if I should stay with her..

We argue like cats and dogs now.. she doesnt trust me one bit but is trying to build her trust with me and in the 4 months it hasnt done much.
If my mobile battery dies I get abuse down the phone like "where was you" etc, and she puts me down soo much..
She also has soo many demands like a few friends I cant go out with nomore as they have different girls every other day, and I cant smoke or drink, I have to buy a house before we get married, etc etc and all those things I want to do but the pressure makes me do nothing.
We say lets end it like its a joke now and a couple of hours later we are fine again, its like she has a split personality one minute shes perfect the next she wants to bite my head off...
She wants to be with me but not forgive me!?!!?
When she says its over I feel soo hurt but when we're together I dont feel in love nomore.
I dont feel like meeting her but right now while we have just argued I miss her like crazy..
We talk about getting married soon etc, but we are in no position are we.

I dont know if I should stick with a good catch and hope things get back like they did before I cheated or make the decision and end things before we both get old ~(both of 27yrs old).

I know I wrote an essay im sorry, and I hope someone finishes it and helps!!

Thanks and god bless.

[QueenofCorona]

Hey....I'm 30, what do you mean "old"? ;P

I think you both need to cut the bullshit. You both have lied and cheated and there may be no trusting eachother ever again. IF you stay together you need couples counseling before you even think of getting married.

Also, I think you need to not focus on what would really make you happy-make you a good person. Stop worrying on what/where society thinks you should be at 27 years old.

[wrongchoices]

Hey,, THank you for reading it! I know I hate what society thinks, but unfortunately in my religion my parents think I should be married and have children by 25!!

We tried counselling, it didnt help much and we stopped, we actualy got better after but she just cant forgive me, I dont know if I am just going to miss someone being there for me or actually her so I asked her to go on a break for a few days to see how we feel..

I feel to be a good person I should be with her after all she did for me when we was together.. argh why are relationships soo complicated!!!