I tried to do the right thing.... But now what?

[JSkip]

Recently I have been talking to a co-worker who has seemed very interested in me.... But did not acknowledge it before due to the fact that I was married previously that ended entirely in Sep. 09.

We have gone on a few dates, its been quite great actually. We got close and such but due to something that needed to happen once my ex-wife found a suitable place to live with her child. She came back to get more stuff she owned from my apartment, at this point the co-worked tended to stray away.

The co-worker knew that this would eventually have to happen but in circumstance that my Ex, and My Ex's daughter we're never mine to begin with yet I feel obligated to help her..... Only because the real father (Which I thought was me until the birth... and DNA test) refused to have any part of her life.

Now she needs proof of all this.... The Divorce.... The Testing.... Everything in general.... Problem is that I have all the documentation I need I just dont know if I should give it to her because she should just trust me to begin with..... My Question is.... With all the documentation I can present to her, Will she be like she was when we first began dating? Or is this a lost cause?

(Sorry for the Enormous rant.)

I just promised my Ex-Wife even though her daughter is not mine that I will always take care of her.... And thus is my prediciment... I was raised to do what's right... But now im thinking its wrong.... So what do I do?

[Spring Haze]

Did she demand proof? Has she given you any explanation as to why she doesn't trust you?

[QueenofCorona]

I think its awesome you offered to step up and be the dad the little girls biological father is too big of a POS to be. That being said, if you said it and meant it, you damn well better follow through. The last thing that girl needs is father figures dipping in and out of her life. So you need to decide and stick with it. Forever.

If that little girl was your blood daughter would you ever be on the fence about dating a woman who couldn't handle this? Yes, its a unique situation but if she cares for you, she will accept this as part of your life. As long as there is no drama between you and your ex wife, it shouldn't be a make or break issue but it will take work and understanding and patience on her part.

[JSkip]

She did demand proof, which she has all right's to do so. I just dont like it that I feel like im being questioned about my chivalry. I intend to do what's right, but my problem is when I find a girl im interested in I get attached quickly which in most cases is usually my downfall.

She isnt texting me back or answering any of my calls now, so I assume this is now no more than a broken road beyond repair......

Thoughts?

[ds615]

Give her what she wants, after all it can't hurt anything.
Men that "do the right thing", like you and myself, we are fairly rare. It's hard for some people to accept.
Some people just honestly don't understand that we somtimes do things because we think we should, and there simply is no other reason.

You may need to convince her that that's who you are. She may have never met anyone like you, she doesn't understand, and she's ascribing to you some sort of malevolent intentions instead.

Like I said, it can't hurt anything.

[Moe]

I think its awesome you offered to step up and be the dad the little girls biological father is too big of a POS to be. That being said, if you said it and meant it, you damn well better follow through. The last thing that girl needs is father figures dipping in and out of her life. So you need to decide and stick with it. Forever.

You best never back out on her for anyone, my ex of three years up and left one day and my daughter 5 months later is still devastated. The school just this week recommended counseling for her because she now has teary days in school when others talk about moms. It was her only mother figure she ever knew.

If that little girl was your blood daughter would you ever be on the fence about dating a woman who couldn't handle this? Yes, its a unique situation but if she cares for you, she will accept this as part of your life. As long as there is no drama between you and your ex wife, it shouldn't be a make or break issue but it will take work and understanding and patience on her part.

We good dad's have to do the right thing.

[bloodtippedrose]

I don't find it unusual that she wants proof of what went down in your last relationship and I don't blame her for not wanting to get mixed up between a wife/ex and kid without knowing for SURE whats going on. I would show her proof of whats going on and let her decide after that if she wants to get involved. I wouldnt want to fall in love with a man who is still emotionally involved with the ex. Not saying that you are, you say youre going to be there for the kid which is cool but the doubt is still there and needs to be removed.