ask about sex beforehand?

[lonelyhamster]

This weekend circumstances will mean that my girlfriend and I will be together for several hours...alone...in a hotel room.

There is a possibility that one thing will lead to the next, and...you know the next part.

The question is: should I ask her about it beforehand, or just let it happen?
I am a virgin and I think she is as well.

Thanks

[Wiredbomb0]

I'd guess it wouldn't hurt to be ready for it? I don't really know much about this part, but it would seem silly to go there, end up wanting to go for it, and then not being prepared to do it (protection among other things). You should just talk to her about and see what eventuates.

[girl68]

since you're both virgins you should talk about it

[lonelyhamster]

Thanks for the replies.
Any advice anyone else has for the first time? I'm nervous.

[girl68]

Don't expect much.

In fact you should expect blood, pain (for her), awkward moves, and your busted nut in less than 3 minutes.

[lonelyhamster]

Thanks.
I talked to her. The answer is maybe. But I found out that this weekend is the beginning of her "high-risk" time for getting pregnant, so it's not happening. But, I'm very glad I talked to her. Thanks for the encouragement!

Also, what kind of contraception is most effective, comfortable, and reliable?

Thanks

[Carmen]

wear a condom...even if she is talking oral contraceptives.

[lhn]

And don't be embarrassed to buy them... just saying.

[qwertz]

oh and just for the record...she can get pregnant at any time in her cycle. Make sure you use a condom.

[girl68]

Ask her to talk to her dr. She can ask aboiut condoms, pills, shots, etc. Besiders her dr. should know she's about to become sexually active and should be able to advise an good method of birth control.

[lhn]

Definitely. She should make a doctor's appointment to discuss it. They are so good and as girl68 said, they will be able to let her know what happens to her body etc when losing her virginity.
Remember, if she has a male doctor, she can ask for a female if she would prefer.

[girl68]

Also, my dr was great. He is a dude but he's a family dr and knows me very well. At this point he knows how many partners, what bc I've used and has a record of everything. Encourage this.

[lonelyhamster]

Thanks so much for the advice.

We have the place, we have the time, we have the equipment (condoms ), but...

She hasn't yet seen a doctor. There are logistical problems--namely with her father still thinking of her as a little girl and not believing that she might be having sex anytime soon. Would going ahead without a doctor's knowledge, and without morning-after pills handy be way too risky? I'm leaning towards just not doing it.

Again, thanks.

[girl68]

WHAT?

Daddy's ALWAYS think of us as little girls thinking immaculate conception all the way. Get over it.

Condoms are fine, morning after pills are should NOT be contraception. They are used for emergency mistakes.

She *should* go see her dr. if not before very soon. What's the harm?

Schedulaling losing your virginity is to be frank pretty damn lame. Why does it have to be planned? Why can't it just progress until it happens. Yes, it's good to talk, to know how one is feeling if both parties are ready. But to plan is to pressure. I'd advise against it. Just let it happen. Be prepared for it to happen but don't expect it to happen.

[Heratriumphant]

I'm leaning towards just not doing it.

It's perfectly ok to not be ready yet.

You both sound very young, take your time. Do some research on contaception, know exactly what you're getting into and what the risks are.