Afraid To Show My Faults

[qwertz]

I wasnt saying that parents or other people should get the blame, just that they can be a contributing factor...at the end of the day, people need to take responsibility for their own life, and continually blaming others for their problems is not the way to go, like i said before, there is only one person who can get you out the other side, and the first step to doing that, is realising you have a problem in the first place.

[Perryville]

You can play the "blame game", forever, and it won't help with your anxiety. Shheadz, Rather than work yourself to a frazzle trying to be something you're not, just relax and ease into it. More than anything else, learn to be receptive to new ideas, new ways of living, and try not to shut out other people , simply because you've always done so in the past. Be patient.

[lahnnabell]

It's not the blame game. Sure, there are plenty of people who want to cast blame onto everyone around them and refuse to take responsibility for the decisions they made.

But what about the child that grows up in a sexually abusive household? Many of them grow into sexual abusers in the future. The child didn't choose this. It is a learned behavior. The same way a physically abused child might later become an abuser. It's not 100%, but the behaviors we encounter growing up set a tone for us later.

I don't blame my father for putting me in the position I am in right now. I DO hold him responsible for causing the initial rift with his insatiable appetite for voyeuristic online activities and the casual way in which he spent money on these activities instead of supporting our family. His personal decisions have not had any positive effect on my family, the only exception being that I learned to be self-reliant at an earlier age than most.

There comes a time where we need to stop whining about our f*cked up past and learn from it. It is difficult though. Some people don't have the emotional or mental capacity to push past some of their demons or break down those walls by themselves. It takes immense mental strength and clarity to be able to see yourself and accept everything you are.

[ecojeanne]

we're not talking about a sexually abused person here

[Gigabitch]

I suggest you don't move to NY and try to break your cycle of self-isolation.

[lahnnabell]

I was only speaking in generalities since everyone else seemed to be making wide-sweeping statements about how "people" (very general) need to take responsibility for their own actions. This is true, sure. But there are some who are not well enough to do so. Shheadz, on the other hand, seems very capable due to his ability to express his situation and his feelings about it.

Giga's suggestion would be way to face some of those demons instead of cutting and running.

[Coco]

I am one of those people. I don't have the emotional or mental strength to get past it by myself. But I'm also scared to talk about it because I don't know what will happen to me. I didn't ask for any of the traumatizing events I experienced as a child. All I ever wanted was to be safe, healthy and protected.

[Gigabitch]

That's all anybody wants, really. I think all the shit people manufacture into wants are just trying to make up for those things.

I think it's quite valid that your childhood can shape your behavior. Regardless of disposition, a childhood of insecurity and deprivation can twist anybody.

[TimeToGrowUp]

It's not the blame game. Sure, there are plenty of people who want to cast blame onto everyone around them and refuse to take responsibility for the decisions they made.

But what about the child that grows up in a sexually abusive household? Many of them grow into sexual abusers in the future. The child didn't choose this. It is a learned behavior. The same way a physically abused child might later become an abuser. It's not 100%, but the behaviors we encounter growing up set a tone for us later.

I don't blame my father for putting me in the position I am in right now. I DO hold him responsible for causing the initial rift with his insatiable appetite for voyeuristic online activities and the casual way in which he spent money on these activities instead of supporting our family. His personal decisions have not had any positive effect on my family, the only exception being that I learned to be self-reliant at an earlier age than most.

There comes a time where we need to stop whining about our f*cked up past and learn from it. It is difficult though. Some people don't have the emotional or mental capacity to push past some of their demons or break down those walls by themselves. It takes immense mental strength and clarity to be able to see yourself and accept everything you are.

Sh*t ....you know my story with my ex- ........ she comes those childhood traumas .....now look at her, she's with a cross-dressing physical trainer who's a dead beat dad and has a felony. She apologizes for nothing and trucks along like everything's fine.

[vashti]

Sh*t ....you know my story with my ex- ........ she comes those childhood traumas .....now look at her, she's with a cross-dressing physical trainer who's a dead beat dad and has a felony. She apologizes for nothing and trucks along like everything's fine.

Oh my god! I must have missed your intro thread! Anyway, you win the prize for the most disturbing ex story!

[Heratriumphant]

I'm with Giga rethink that move to NY.

If you really want to change this you need to stay close to the people that allready know you.

I can relate to a lot of what you're talking about. I'm working through the same process of learning how to really let people in. I'm actually moving back to my hometown after years of isolation and gypsy living so I can reconnect with the people I've known the longest and can most easily learn to trust with my fears and my flaws.

It is a continum, you don't have to become one of those fools who puke their inner-most emotions all over everyone they meet. Thank g-d!

[TimeToGrowUp]

Oh my god! I must have missed your intro thread! Anyway, you win the prize for the most disturbing ex story!

Knock yourself out..........

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/36643-relationship-4-5-years-ended-but-im-going-propose-advice.html[/url]

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/broken-hearts-forum/37009-steely-exterior-ex-gfs-put-up-after-break-up.html[/url]

The "Steely" thread is where it gets interesting. The "4.5 year" thread was the initial sadness and woe is me crap.

Alas, the whole thing is a complete and utter joke.