Hey guys, well, I'm a college student and I've had 2 serious relationships. The first one lasted 4 years with us dating for 2, breaking up for 3 months, then dating for another 2. The second one only lasted 2 months, but I waited almost a year before getting into the 2nd relationship.
Now, what I am trying to figure out is what type of personality I want. I know what I'm attracted to, but apparently that is not what works best with my personality...?
My first girlfriend was very outgoing, very sweet, and loved attention from me. I got tired of her constant need for attention. I couldn't even sit on the couch without her wondering why I didn't have my arm around her, or why I wasn't holding her hand. At the time, I thought I wasn't a very affectionate person. I tried to explain it to her, but the more time went by, the more she tried to claw for my affection. She basically followed me around like a puppydog. We would get into dumb arguements about it all the time, and I couldn't stand it anymore. I felt like she was pushing me away with her constant neediness.
Now, a year later, I meet another very outgoing, sweet girl, but the difference is that she is very independent. She didn't require all that much attention, and certainly wasn't at my beckon call like the last girl. This kinda seemed odd to me, I guess b/c I'd never experienced this type of behavior from a woman. I started to feel insecure about the relationship, b/c she would be the one wanting to go hang out with her friends, while I was the one stuck wanting to see her. I feel like the 2 past relationships are completely flip flopped. I would do anything for the new girl, and basically I was at her beckon call. The more I saw of her, the more I began to get upset with myself for running to her house anytime she asked. I felt like she was the one in control of when we saw each other.
We broke up recently, and I am still trying to get over her. I cared for her a great deal, even though we were only together for 2 months. I am still trying to figure out exactly what type of woman I want. I wanted one that wasn't clingy like my ex, and I found one, yet I still wasn't happy.
How do you find out exactly what you want?