i dont want a girlfriend?

[ashleycm1092]

So the guy that I am currently seeing, I really like alot and would definitely date. The other night when we hung out he initiated a kind of serious talk. He told me that he really really liked me (kept saying it over again) and kept giving me compliments and being really cute. Finally about a half hour in he said "I don't think I want a girlfriend right now" and followed it up by "I don't know I'm just confused maybe I do I just hate girls I jsut got out of a bad relationship" then later saying "Maybe if your still around in a month or so". I did not say or do anything to initiate this and he kept bringing it up on his own and I was being very casual with my answers. I really like him, and he seems to like me. We talk alot, sometimes he initiates the conversation and sometimes I do. He doesn't seem to have a hard time blowing me off, but then when were together he always apologizes for when he does saying that "im a nice girl and he likes me and he doesnt want to piss me off" What the hellllll is going on in this boys head??

[cmacattack1]

Well he may be apologizing for blowing you off all the time but as long as he continues to do it, he isn't sticking to his word and he isn't sorry.

But everything he says goes along with him being very confused. He'll need time on his own to figure things out so I guess the best you can do is just mirror him for the time being. Let him do all the contacting and talking to you, and just respond with simple answers. If he wonders what's up, just let him know that he needs to figure these things out on his own. It's important he does this because if he jumps into a relationship with you and still has feelings for his ex, that could be wrought with all sorts of potential complications.

[reeges]

even if he doesn't still have feelings for his ex, he described it as a "bad relationship" and may be unwilling to put himself through that kind of grief again. he'll tread carefully around relationships for a while yet. it may be best to take him off your radar for the time being, because you're unlikely to make much headway with him in the state he's in.

if its important for you to have a relationship with him, be prepared to play a long waiting game. you'll probably get there - but beware of being friend zoned in the process.

best of luck!

[QueenofCorona]

I don't think he knows what he even wants. The whole, "If you're still around in a month" WTF? As if you're suppose to stick around and maybe you'll be lucky enough to be to be his girlfriend? Sorry but thats stupid thing to say to any girl you have respect for.

Hard to say if he's just trying to guard himself from being hurt again or just trying to get in your pants while letting you know not to expect anything other than hooking up.

[all alone]

I don't think he knows what he even wants. The whole, "If you're still around in a month" WTF? As if you're suppose to stick around and maybe you'll be lucky enough to be to be his girlfriend? Sorry but thats stupid thing to say to any girl you have respect for.

Hard to say if he's just trying to guard himself from being hurt again or just trying to get in your pants while letting you know not to expect anything other than hooking up.

He wants time/take it slowly, clearly.. he just can't say it very well, clearly

If you like him, then keep interacting with him as you have, but maybe try and scale back planning to see him as much?.. im not sure how that works out between the two of you, but perhaps he is 'blowing you off' because he doesnt want stuff to move to fast. Slow it down and see what happens.

[cmacattack1]

He wants time/take it slowly, clearly.. he just can't say it very well, clearly

If you like him, then keep interacting with him as you have, but maybe try and scale back planning to see him as much?.. im not sure how that works out between the two of you, but perhaps he is 'blowing you off' because he doesnt want stuff to move to fast. Slow it down and see what happens.

Perhaps he is blowing you off because he doesn't want stuff to move fast, but I bet you wish he would just say that because doing that is really immature. Ugh, I keep forgetting you guys are 17.

[Spades_]

Well, I'm in a similar situation as your "friend" and its likely that he's still confused/dazed about his previous relationship and is fighting the feelings he has for you. If that's the case, then he's trying to save you from the heartache by not getting you personally involved because he knows that he isn't ready yet. Yea, he may like you, it may be genuine, but its for your own good (and his) that you not pursue a relationship at this time. That will only bring in mix feelings and you're likely to hit a few bumps along the way. But that doesn't mean that you have to stick around and wait for him either, anyone asking you to do that is unreasonable.

[jessZ]

I always thought guys said that kind of thing to really mean "I like you, but not enough to be with you.." Saying he's not ready is probably just a gentle way of saying he is not interested.

[Gigabitch]

I wouldn't spend too much time trying to untangle that knot. He told you what you need to know: he's not really available.

Move on.

[davidtorres]

Damn all the answers here are long. Lets not try to analyze too much.

The guy just wanna have fun = he just wants to tap it.

[Sanctuary]

He likes you but he doesn't want a girlfriend atm. As rare as it is, it happens.

It won't do you any good to figure anything out. Like Giga said - move on.

[sudeep13582]

he have very less confidence withing himself.. I dont say that he is not enogh strong.. but there was something bad in his prev life.. thats chasing him badly.. and he cant take any decision right now. I think you should give him time.. and be nice with him.. watch and try to understand his every movements every feelings and what he talk...

[iHEARTu]

The fact is: he DOESN'T want to be in a relationship.

Even if you want him or not, respect that. Stop bringing it up. If he brings it up, alls good.

But honestly, doesnt sound like husband material.

"Maybe if your still around in a month or so" ? Excuse me? You want this person? He doesn't sound very interested in you. I'm sorry because i know thats harsh, but dont get into a relationship with just anybody. Find someone who would make you his queen. Don't settle for just anybody.

"I don't know I'm just confused maybe I do I just hate girls I jsut got out of a bad relationship" -> if he just got out of a bad relationship- give him some space. guys like having their space.

"im a nice girl and he likes me and he doesnt want to piss me off" -> he's not looking for a long lasting relationship. he may sound interested but that may just be in the "you're funny, outgoing and cool- and i respect that." way. meaning he may only want your friendship.

I do apologize if anything above is remotely offending to you, I'm just trying to help. Good luck if you want to pursue a relationship with this man. and if you don't- good luck for any future relationships.

[sookie6]

Don't think to much for now...He is not a closed one and therefore you should do spend energy an time on understanding his feelings for you.

For a relationship you want someone who will be 100% available.

So the cold answer is: leave him, do not check on him or become like his agony aunt...