Bisexual Love Interest

[vnderdosed]

Hey.
So I figured I was bisexual after my last relationship - I was going out with a girl, and then I started fancying another guy.
I wondered how do I go about getting myself out there to find someone? Because sometimes it is a turn-off to girls when I say i'm bi, because they become afraid that I will run off with another guy. I don't want to hide it from people, though. I want to be honest in a relationship, but the girls I tell i'm bi kind of seem hesitant.
Should I pursue a male? Or just keep searching out for girls?

[girl68]

I think you need to not persue anyone for a while. Take some time away from dating and learn about yourself. Talk to gay men, talk to lesbians, find a group of people who might be able to shine light on your situation. Observe how you react to different couples, or attractive people. This is the time for self discovery. You're hella young- you've got tons of time to learn yourself before you persue another person.

As a female yes- that's a turn off. Yes- I'd be afraid he'd leave me for a penis. No I wouldn't like it. However if he'd done it, it's past, has had long committed relationships with women and doesn't have a sleezy, dirty, cheating past I might be able to overlook it for the right guy.

[vnderdosed]

Ah, okay.
I have had time away from the dating scene, and have been talking to a few gay and lesbian friends, but they are all my age. Should I try talking with an older crowd, since they have more experience and things?
The gay and lesbian friends I have are all very accepting of me being bi - all my friends are, straight friends as well. Its just when I try to get into a relationship and bring it up, it can make things a bit different. I don't want to not tell people about it, because then the relationship doesn't feel honest.
And yeah, i'm young - i've got plenty of time! c:

[girl68]

Yes, talk with older folk too.

There are varying degrees of acceptance. I love my gay friend, if he were bi however, I'm not interested.

[Gigabitch]

What is Adelaide like? I have no idea. Is there a large alternative community there?

[vashti]

I think there is some element of fear involved (in addition to extra competition). Homosexuals are at elevated risk of HIV, so if you are sleeping with boys, that also means YOU are at elevated risk. Maybe the girls you like know this.

[Mish]

Hey.
So I figured I was bisexual after my last relationship - I was going out with a girl, and then I started fancying another guy.
I wondered how do I go about getting myself out there to find someone? Because sometimes it is a turn-off to girls when I say i'm bi, because they become afraid that I will run off with another guy. I don't want to hide it from people, though. I want to be honest in a relationship, but the girls I tell i'm bi kind of seem hesitant.
Should I pursue a male? Or just keep searching out for girls?

I think first you need to find out if relationship is what you are really looking for. Are you completely sure you can dedicate yourself to one person only completely ignoring the other sex you are attracted to? Maybe what you are looking for is just short lived hookups with different types of people until you figure out which way you want to go in the long term.

[Carmen]

Honestly I don't understand how people can be bisexual. You're either gay or not. Maybe at this point you believe you're bisexual because you haven't decided which way to go.
I could never be with a bisexual guy. It's a huge turn off.
Maybe you should try dating some guys to see if that is what you prefer. I don't think you'll find many girls who will be attracted to you after you tell them you're into guys too.

[jessZ]

My bf is bisexual and I don't consider it a turn off. At first I found it threatening, but now it doesn't concern me at all, because he has had one other long-term relationship (with a girl) and he says he is far more into girls than guys. I think him being with other guys was more an experimental thing for him.... And I think it's unfair to immediately conclude that a bisexual will be less faithful than a heterosexual person.

[jav1231]

vnderdosed: You might check out justusboys.com/forum. It's a pr0n site, yes, but the forum there is very active with gay men on a variety of topics.

Always tell the women you're going to date that you are bi. It's up to you to quell their fears about you running off with a guy. The truth is you could just as easily run off with a girl so it really doesn't change a thing from that standpoint.

[Paul Cho]

I dated a girl who was very bisexual.

I was very fond of her, and she would bring home girls for both of us to enjoy. She would even let me watch in the closet if the other girl was not interested in me, I even video-taped some encounters.

I really miss her sometimes.


Paul Cho

[Thelovedoctor]

You know what, Maybe you should stop blurting out that you love the cock very early on in a relationship and maybe women won't be running for the hills.

You have to put yourself in the woman's shoes for a bit(which I'm sure you probably got a closet full of them ) if you find this cute guy that you're just barely getting to know, and he suddenly tells you that he loves the cock, what would your first reaction be?

I'm sure a few of these thoughts have ran through your woman's head when you told her you're bi
"Is this guy actually gay?"
"Is this guy trying to pick me up to hide himself in the closet"
" he's just trying to sleep withg me just to hide his gayness"
"EWW GROSS GROSS GROSS!! THERE'S BEEN ANOTHER DICK IN THAT GUY'S MOUTH"
"sorry sweetheart, but I don't **** faeries"
and the one you mentioned..
"is this guy going to run off with another dude on me?"

That's why you gotta let them get to know you better before you tell them you're a bi-sexual. It's the same way with 100% straight guys picking up girls. You don't see a guy go up to a complete stranger and say "hi, I am (insert name here) and I just gonna have sex with you and never talk to you again". you're going to get a few drinks thrown in your face for that.