if i did the right thing...then what now?

[cmac828]

Ok, so i posted a thread a couple weeks ago in another section of this site regarding deciding whether or not to break up with my boyfriend of one year because he said he didn't know if he could love me back.
Well, about a week ago, we broke up. It was on good terms and we both said we wanted to remain friends since we have been for the past 5 years. Since then, everything has been fine. We talk once a day or every other day just to see how eachother's days are going since now we're both away and back at school (I usually wait for him to text/call me first). I thought this wasn't going to be so bad after all and I didn't have much of a reason to be upset anymore. However, I realized this was only because things haven't changed much since we broke up. I know this seems silly, but today I decided to go on facebook and look at his profile, and I saw he put his relationship status as single and I completely broke down. I guess the break up didn't hit me because things weren't very different, until I saw it written out in front of my face. Now I feel like I shouldn't be talking to him normally as friends. I actually have no idea what to do. I just find myself crying and crying and wishing we were still together and hating myself for making this choice.
I don't really know what question I'm trying to ask here, I guess I'm just looking for advice.
Thanks

[Chupacabras]

That's why 95% of the time, the advice you're going to hear is to have no contact with your ex. There's no way to move on if you're constantly reminded of what you once had.

[IncognitoSir]

Its hard to be friends right off the bat if you really cared about someone. You can just turn off the love and turn on the friendship like that, thats not how it works. You have to give yourself time to heal properly before you can get back to the friendship thing. Just let him know you need some alone time to get yourself back together and then you can get on with being friends. I speak from experience on this. I've been not contacting my ex gf lately and even though we plan on working out our relationship and getting back together, this NC has really helped me out a lot, and her as well. I realize how to get on without her and she realized how much she actually cares about me. TIME is on your side here, but you have to let it work for you.

[cmac828]

thank you for your replies.

Ok so last night I told him that I needed some time not talking to him so I can get over my feelings and we can have a normal friendship. He replied with " If that's what you want, I'll do whatever it takes. Let me know when you want to talk again." I didn't reply, but it made me so angry. I was expecting him to argue or something, but to me this just means that he doesn't ever think we'll get back together. I don't even think we've gone more than a week without talking in the past 5 years..and it's only been a day and it seems so hard already. I know this is the best for us cause I can see if he actually misses me over the course of this time, but the way he responded with such ease frustrated me to no end! ughhhh why does he do this to me??

[shheadz]

thank you for your replies.

Ok so last night I told him that I needed some time not talking to him so I can get over my feelings and we can have a normal friendship. He replied with " If that's what you want, I'll do whatever it takes. Let me know when you want to talk again." I didn't reply, but it made me so angry. I was expecting him to argue or something, but to me this just means that he doesn't ever think we'll get back together.

When my ex and I started talking about splitting, I was also upset by how easy she was taking it. I guess I was hoping she'd be more upset or something, but she wasn't, or didn't act like it.

BUT.. I was being pretty cool and calm about the whole thing myself despite feeling hurt. For all I know she may have been upset with how easy I was taking the whole thing.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is don't read into his comment too much. He may be feeling devastated even if he's acting pretty calm on the surface.

[Chupacabras]

He's not doing anything to you, you are doing this to you. You're broken up, his feelings are irrelevant. This is exactly why you need no contact, so you quit obsessing over things he does or doesn't do.

[Gigabitch]

It was the right thing to do, not the easy thing to do.