At a Glance...Your advice, please :(

[LouisianaLady29]

Hi. Im new here and actually I have two questions (in italics) for any guy willing to answer. Me and my ex/father of my youngest have been apart for nearly a year now but live and work only a few miles from each other. His business is on the busiest street in my city that links to nearly everything else in town. I see him alot in passing outside of his business and in passing on the street in our seperate vehicles. Everytime we pass each other or he's outside and I pass he makes it his business to stare me down. Never a wave or any type of motion just his eyes watching me pass from the beginning, all the way to the end, almost making it known he sees me, sometimes he will have a smirk on his face.

A little history we were together 5 months, he left when I was pregnant for another woman whom he got pregnant a few months later, he is still with her (but she is in prison) and he is raising their son, hes seen our daughter once and told me point blank he only has room to love his son, we do not talk at all. So my question is what do I make of these little stare downs if anything? I know it seems like Im reaching but I mean they are SO obvious and I keep wondering why he wont say hi at least. Sometimes our baby is in my car when hes staring and I think its so dumb her father is right there and she doesnt even know it.

Also the last time I spoke with him he asked me why didn't I just come talk to him or pop up at his business and try to talk but I know he has a gf who works at his store and also the woman in jail's family comes to drop off his son there all the time why go and make a fool of myself, why would he ask me to pop up like that knowing he would just shut me and our baby down? Should I just try and go talk to him in person? (Note: I have not done that for nearly a year now but we see each other in passing at least once a wk) Thank you in advance to anyone kind enough to respond.

[SirWagginston]

From what I can tell, it seems like he's just an asshole--arrogant, cold and unfeeling. If he is smirking when he stares you down, it's because he takes pride in having been able to put you in the situation that you are in.

I know that's hard to hear, especially because you trusted him. I'm sorry.

[IncognitoSir]

From what I can tell, it seems like he's just an asshole--arrogant, cold and unfeeling. If he is smirking when he stares you down, it's because he takes pride in having been able to put you in the situation that you are in.

I know that's hard to hear, especially because you trusted him. I'm sorry.

Agreed, and you should put his ass on child support too. I bet that'll knock that smirk right off. Dude is a clown for real and he's toying with your emotions.

[SirWagginston]

He's right. It's not even about getting even with him for your own sake, anymore. You are responsible for a defenseless child. Tell him that you need his help to give your daughter what she deserves, and if he refuses to assist you, demanding child support is your only responsible option. If he is so selfish that he will screw over not only you, but the baby, too, then you are not obligated to worry about how he will pay this money or by what means. If it comes to this, he can sell a kidney, as far as you should care.

[LouisianaLady29]

@SirW...it's okay, thank you for your honest opinion, I honestly didn't even think of that at all, I thought it was something like wanting me to stop and beg him since he likes that kind of thing..I almost wish I'd done something wrong that I could say well I did this and now this is the result but there is nothing, even he admits that but still chooses to be this way.

I think it is more so that him and the other woman: A have more in common like they both in and out of jail, and use drugs and let each other have outside relationships for each others' gain, he has a girlfriend right now while inside and she knows it. Just sick. As for me I wanted him to get cleaned up get an education and own our own business and raise our baby, tsk...he's not ready for nothing like that. Only thing I don't get is why is it easier for him to have that drama filled life with a (sorry to say) ghetto 'baby mama' than try with someone already established. His daughter doesn't even need money she is taken care of just fine.

@SirI...I have done that (c.sup that is) we had our court date for paternity which it was proven again by the state our daughter is his plus they put the personal positive test results we took privately into record and our court date to order judgment (for the amount required for him to pay) will be no later than the end of March, soon to be set according to the d.a.s office. He told me himself that his current probation officer told him dont worry about c.sup and that he's simply going to lie like he doesnt have a job, I told the d.a.s office rep that showed up at the paternity hearing these things he said and she smirked and looked at me and smiled and said thats okay. I dont think they like him to much now . Anyways, I feel kind of sick that is what that look is about and I NEVER thought of it that way and now it makes perfect sense. Thank you for that perspective.

p.s. This forum has some good people on it, I tried to tell my painful story on other forums before and got some nasty things said to me.

[SirWagginston]

Haha, well good job watching out for the kid. Just stay strong emotionally, because she'll need your shoulder to cry on as she gets older.

[girl68]

Get child support. I don't think he knows that he's going to be screwed like a gay man for the first time. It's going to suck, suck some more and hurt like hell. But it might help you raise your child with a little bit more of a buffer.

[LouisianaLady29]

Well he seems to think he is invincible and it won't touch him at all, actually a lot of people: male and female alike get away with not paying it for years so to be honest I'm not expecting nor planning my daughters financial stability around receiving it but at least the order will be there and will stay there along with any arrears accrued by him until our child is of 18 years of age. I still keep wondering if a simple face to face conversation with him could help things but I'm terrified of the notion. I haven't been face to face with him in nearly a year and he changed his number meaning he has no desire for me to be able to contact him at all.

[Gigabitch]

Well he seems to think he is invincible and it won't touch him at all, actually a lot of people male and female alike get away with not paying it for years

That's so sad but true. One of my friends is owed over $80,000 in back child support. Will she ever see it? No. Not one cent.

They started garnishing her ex's wages so now he works illegally and pays no taxes. They took away his driver's license so now he uses a copy of his brother's license.

I think you're smart not to count on him.

[SirWagginston]

Well, it's good that you're so self-sufficient. If you do get his money, though, you could still spend it on a nice family vacation! Or a college/retirement fund, I guess.

[LouisianaLady29]

Well I saw him again tonight and it was the same thing, only me passing the fam business and he was outside and saw my car before it even came within reach of his store, lucky for me I had a friend with me and I didn't have to look at him, she told me how he stared us down, she said he wasn't smiling or anything just staring...creepy. Anyways, I guess he's proud of his actions towards myself and our daughter.

I've recently found out his number never changed and is back operational. I wish it was as simple as me calling but he is not a rational "man" at all. He would just use the opportunity to take another stab at me somehow or put some woman on the phone. I wish so much we could just meet in person and talk things out even if he told me to my face I will never be able to be a father to our daughter and why but for him to give me that type of closure he'd have to be mature first, good luck to me waiting on that one.

[Gigabitch]

LL29, when all of this is over and you're back on the dating scene, let your girlfriends help you decide if a guy is good enough for you. I'm not sure your judgment is solid. Your babydaddy is a WANKER.