Unofficial GF reconsidering her ex after 6 months.

**BTNHfan99** · 06-02-10, 07:45 AM

Hi, great forum you guys have here! I'm glad I've managed to stumble into it. Anyways you can call me by my forum name BTNHfan99, I am in my mid 20's. I'm a sincere guy, always have been. A cancer to be exact (for the zodiac fanatics!) Never cheated, never was a heartbreaker, and very honest with a big heart. I like to nurture people, i can get very vulnerable easily and I've always been the type of guy to look at the long run.

(A lil extra about myself and my past, optional to read)
I'm going to cut to the chase here. I've had a 3 year long relationship that ended in 2005. My first love, and it ended with her cheating on me. And being the type of person I am, these crab like pinchers of mines tend to cling to the past like glue. Even when my ex gf cheated on me, I was still very foolish and still decided to stay with her for awhile. It didnt last to long until she realized it wasnt going to work. She just got fed up and realize that we grew apart. I was stubborn and refused to believe it but deep down I knew it all along that she was right. I guess I was just afraid to be alone again, afraid to start all over. More importantly afraid to lose my significant other.
It took me over a year to get over the ordeal and since then I've dated around but never really found the right person to put my trust on.

Everything changed until I met a girl you can call Kristine. Kristine is 22, her birthday is on 3/31/87 (Aries). I met Kristine through a friend of mines. Kristine was going through a break up sometime in late August of 2009. Her ex boyfriend whom you can call Tim cheated on her. I've always been the type of person that friends of mines would go to for advice and such, and my homegirl asked me if I can knock some senses into her.
Me and Kristine started of as friends, I was her guidance and strength, I gave her the courage to move forward. Of course for a month Kristine still had ties with Tim, she would allow him to see her and call her. I suggested that if she really wanted to move forward she would cut all ties with him. And so she did, I made sure if that was what she really wanted to do and she stated that she is positive because the pain that she suffered was to much to ever forget about. She believed that it would never work out again. And I believed her, I felt the same way at one point.
So October comes and she decides to change her number and cut all ties with him. At start me and Kristine were great friends to begin with. We knew the attraction was there right of the bat. It was obvious. So at this point we had a drunken moment and I accidentally told her that I like her. She took it seriously and I dont blame her because it wasnt a lie. Since then we developed a "more than a friend" relationship. We was pretty much couples, we were doing everything normal couples would do. She would even get jealous when I am out with my female friends. I felt good because I cared for her alot. We just didnt have the official title.
I knew what I was getting myself into. And I made it clear with her that I have strong feelings for her and I dont want to be a rebound. She assured me that this (our relationship) is what she wants. So I allowed myself to open up and be vulnerable for the first time in 4 years. I've always been afraid to do so because knowing me, its not easy to cope with when things dont go according to plan. I can be very emotional, and getting over things is hard for me.
So everything was going great, until just late December. Tim is a persistent guy. Even when she changed her number hes made many attempts to contact Kristine work phone. Kristine actually had to keep her phone on silent at all times. And Kristines job heavily revolves around phone calls. So she actually had to risk her duties, if she misses any phone calls, she can get a bad rep. Anyways, sometime around late December Tim decided to visit Kristine at her job. And Kristine decided to see him for a minute. I did question her and she told me she felt like she was ready to confront him. This is the key point where our relationship changed. Because since then in my opinion Kristine took a step back and she probably didnt realize it then but everything came back twice as hard. And Tim has a great mouth (so I was told according to Kristines friends whom I've developed a great bond with). And Kristine can easily be persuaded with words.
So about 2 weeks ago she opened up to me and told me that she gave Tim her number and allowed him to basically txt her. (BAD MOVE). So now shes in this big confusion, she tells me she realizes shes not ready. She needs time to clear her mind because she is confuse. She tells me she loves me all the time but recently she realizes that she still has feelings for Tim. I asked her how often do they talk. And she told me that they only txt occasionally, I asked her what do they talk about and she says that he keeps saying how much he loves her, how sorry he is and anything else to convince Kristine that things can work out.

Im not a bad guy, I'm not going to judge Tim. I can understand both sides. My only problem here is, I cant help but feel betrayed. I'm frustrated at the fact that I've allowed myself to fall into the mess. I should have known better, at the same time I am disappointed at all the broken promises she lead me into.
I know Kristine still has feelings for Tim, I mean it took me over a year to finally start dating around again after my break up.
I just dont know what to do at this point. I dont know if I am stuck on a dead end road. I have strong feelings for her and I would love to fight for her. But at this point I dont know if that is the right decision, As difficult it may be I dont know if I should give her space. I dont know if I should even try to contact her or let her be. I just have no clue at all.
In a way I feel as if I just cant take it anymore. To be honest I have been pretty sad lately. I love her alot, but I dont know if its worth the wait. I dont know if its worth all the Drama. I know people say there are more fishes in the sea, but to me I find it very difficult to find that special person who is compatible for me, I mean it took me 4 years to find someone! And I just hate to put all that effort and time to waste. Its not often I get to meet someone who I can share my love with. Its a shame really.
People in the Loveforum, I am sorry for the long read but I wanted to include all the key details as much as possible. What do you guys think I should do? Feel free to ask me anymore questions. Thanks in advance.

**irrelevant_89** · 06-02-10, 11:57 PM

Tim is an a**hole. He brought the break-up on himself by making the worst mistake a guy can make in a relationship, and now he's sweet-talking his way back into her heart. It doesn't look good at all.

I'm in two minds about this: 1 - run while you can and save yourself; 2 - be by her side and help her stay strong?
But I'm no expert, where are them when we need them.