Not gonna work out?

[NewToLove]

Hi, me and this girl have been dating for 3 months now, we both claim to be in love with each other...

So recently, she decided to go to Utah for college and I was hurt by that because she decided on her own. We were going to a school at Humboldt so that she could get what she wanted and still be together with me. But she recently decided she wants to go to a school that's best for her.

Then she tells me she doesn't want to be in a long distance relationship and she does not want me to go to school with her at Utah.

I asked why not? she said i should go to a school that's best for me. Then I told her that there's a school in Utah that's great for me and she says "you're following me and i don't want that"

So she said she doesn't want anything to change right now and still wants to be with me, but I want to move our high school relationship to a real relationship, but it seems like she doesn't want to...

she tells me she's young and doesn't want to devote herself to one person and that she doesn't want to be tied down, but I didn't ask for that.. I just wanted to have a real relationship with her after high school...

So then I asked her if she plans to end this relationship when high school ends, and she said yes... what do i do now?

She tells me.. if it's meant to be, it'll work out.. but it seems like every possible chance has been shot down

[vashti]

She is doing the right thing by choosing to go to the school that is best for her, and it is right that you do the same.

You will both be going through a period of rapid emotional growth during your college years, and it IS best you do this without being tethered to someone who lives in another state.

It's going to suck for you for a while, but if you are open to growth, you will move on - just as the vast majority of kids do when they go to college. To tryto hold on to her is to try to hold on to a piece of your childhood, and that is not the best path towards adulthood.

[NewToLove]

Thank you Vashti. I want to know how.. I am a very emotional guy.. I want to know how.. i can cope with this.. she fills the emptiness... do I find a replacement?

[vashti]

Why don't you just continue dating until you go to college? Then you will have all the excitement of a new environment to distract you. (Assuming you are both interested in continuing until that point, that is.)

[Doc Durian]

Turf her, fellow. Don't listen to the "coming of age" pseudo wisdoms. If you consider yourself an adult, don't tolerate a relationship of convenience which has been already ended with a termination date in the future (if that's not what you want).

Her actions are no different than a 20 or 30 something couple taking jobs in different cities or moving to different states/regions.

It's a relationship breaker and done by choice.

[NewToLove]

We are both interested in still dating until that point. but I don't know how I can handle not having her anymore.. she's all I ever wanted.. I have enough reasons to hold on to her...

[Doc Durian]

Why would you want to date someone who is leaving you?

If you're not old enough to be drafted, vote, live as an adult, etc...already, it's just around the corner.

The relationship has been ended. She ended it. Move on.

[NewToLove]

I don't know if I can move on... will find another girl like her?

[Doc Durian]

There are 6 Billion and counting people in this world. A good portion of them are female and around your age.

You've got plenty of options, mate.

[NewToLove]

Options.. sometimes I wish I had none.

[Doc Durian]

Hanging around and acting like a kicked dog will assure that. Girls are biologically equipped to avoid weak men unless there is something to fleece off them.

[HappyToBeMe]

LOL. Both of you sound immature, but sadly she is the more mature of the two of you. She's doing you a favor by letting you go.

[-=Wonder=-]

Well dude you will find another one.. To be honest, I'm younger than you, and I had what... 2 girlfriends before? I felt the same way for both " Will i find another one like her". First of all, I'm not even an adult yet so that was a stupid question. I know that I am emotional. But just break it off, and move one, do sports or something.What I did: change completely my schedule to school ---> Monday to friday 1 hour to the gym, 1 hour of piano, 1 hour of practicing my acting and homework, each friday morning from 6-7 am I am at the arena practicing hockey. Saturdays are passed with friends or at music school and acting school.

I mean your making it sound like your life is revolving around hers, and if thats true well make your own life THEN find a girlfriend, it will work out better I think.

[Gigabitch]

I don't know if I can move on... will find another girl like her?

You'd better hope not. That one will dump you too.

[NewToLove]

I don't understand one thing.

There are key points here...
-She says she will feel obligated to be with me if I go with her to school.
-She says that it's not fair for either of us
-But I say "I don't want to have a high school relationship with you, I want to date you for real after high school and you're not giving me a chance by not letting me try"
-And if it doesn't work out, then that's too bad, but why isn't she giving me a chance here?

Update:

So I asked why she won't give us any hope, and she answered saying that past experiences protect her. She told me she compares me to other guys in her past relationship... does that mean she lied when she said she loves me unconditionally? cause all that has happened.. tells me that's a lie... you don't compare someone you love unconditionally with another... you don't protect yourself and leave the other hanging... and you're suppose to be willing to take risks.

She's confusing me.. she wants to be together right now... but wants to break up after high school... what is the meaning of this? why would she want to build on this relationship when she knows it's gonna end? is she hoping that I'll change her mind?