Issues having sex

[Pietomb]

Hi,

Just some background quickly, me and my gf have been together almost 10 months, i'm 17, 18 soon and she's been 18 for a few months, both of us are virgins ish (i'll explain in a min) She's on the pill and i'm the only one she's ever done anything sexual with, and she's my longest relationship and i've done most with.

The problem is we've been trying to have sex, started trying about 3-4 months ago. Tried 7 times but it just doesn't seem to work. To start with i had problems getting the condom on, it just wouldn't go, sorted that out now. But i can hardly ever get it inside her, first time was the first time she'd had anything there so no suprise really, but since then it still doesn't go in, i don't think i'm that small either lenght or girth or that big tbh. Any ideas on how to get it in?

We've tried so many positions but they just don't work. She really wants it to work because we're going on holiday together next week so want to be able to do it then, so the most recent time she put a load of pressure on herself which i don't think could have helped.

That was a bit long for such a short question sorry. Thanks for any replies.

[Gigabitch]

Lube. Lots of it. Not just "personal" lube, either. I'm also talking about getting just a little drunk first. Am I contributing to the delinquency of minors? Sure. I still say go for the red wine. You guys are clearly nervous about this. Seven tries at this shouldn't have resulted in total failure.

[girl68]

Lube. When you think you have too much, squeeze some more on. Make sure she's feelin' it. As in she's horny excited, and RELEAXED. One question have you fingered her?

[xcz]

Sounds like anxiety to me. Don't force things, and don't rush things. Like girl68 already said, she needs to be horny and excited for things to work too... otherwise you're going to end up with her not having much fun and you wondering why things aren't going the way you thought they would.

Also, are you even using lubricated condoms? That'd at least be a start. And then some lube, as well.

[Pietomb]

ok so lube!! will do
I am using lubricated condoms, don't think there that much so though.
And yes girl i have fingered her, i thought that might help but then i haven't done it for a while.
haha i would get her drinking (and myself too) but it just makes her dam tired :/

[Gigabitch]

ok so lube!! will do

haha i would get her drinking (and myself too) but it just makes her dam tired :/

Might make it easier to accomplish the deed.

[needsomehelp123]

There is good news and there is bad news.

Sex the first time for a woman can really hurt. She needs to relax first of all or the clenching won't help. Most importantly BE PATIENT, don't get frustrated with her AT ALL, you don't want her to feel she is causing the problem. Start with giving her a long back rub, set the mood in a comfortable atmosphere, then have foreplay. Once she's comfortable and ready, go for it. It's not going to seem that gentle, it may not be romantic. The more times you have sex the less it will hurt and the more she will relax and enjoy it. Use lots of lube. I don't know if a condom makes it less comfortable for her or not. And most importantly listen to her.

Oh, and if you don't have a serious erection it's not gonna work, that could be part of the problem.

Here's the bad news. Sometimes people are not a good fit sexually. If you are really large it is possible that she will never enjoy sex with you. It's part of life and it just doesn't work between some couples. But keep giving it a chance to see. Hope it works for ya!

[needsomehelp123]

Also check out the responses here so you have some sense of what it can be like the first time for a woman. It won't let me post the forum link but go into the ask-female-forum and look for post 39321- how much did hurt first time

[dewilliams2]

Yea lube is always a good thing...also I hope your using a lubricated condom as well...I honestly don't even know why they make them unlubricated....even the ones with lubrication don't have enough...sorry I'm rambling.

Also I don't know what kinda foreplay you get into but try bringing her to orgasm through oral sex first...that'll get some of her natural juices flowing for sure....and then go slow and listen to her...you can do it....I'm cheering for ya I mean 7 times...thats an A+ for persistence right there.