How many relationships did you have before you knew what you wanted in an SO?

[Dogtoast]

Just as the title says. How many serious relationships did you have before you realized what you are looking for in a significant other?

I'm not sure of what I want just yet, but I'm slowly figuring it out. I don't like high maintenance girls. I seemingly continue to attract them though. I can please them, but its just too much work and I don't like it. I've hung out with a couple down to earth girls but I continue to go for the high maintenance ones, even though I'm learning that they're not my thing. Its just that the down to earth girls I've met, havent been as hot as the high maintenance ones.

Anyways, how many relationships were you in before you really figured it out? What did you learn from each one?

[Mish]

I'd say at least 6 or 7

I definitely learned a lot about myself in each one. I'd say each relationship was like a degree from which I graduated.

[Gigabitch]

It wasn't my criteria that solidified, I just met the right guy. Not the perfect guy, but the right guy. If I made a list of everything I wanted, he wouldn't fit the bill, but I wouldn't trade him for anyone on the planet.

[girl68]

1. After my first bf it was 'serious' or at the very least long term. I knew how wrong it was and knew what I wanted because I left when my needs were not being met. I guess I ended up lucky becasue I'm onto my 2nd serious relationship and he's almost exactly what I want (and need) in a man.

[Dogtoast]

I'd say at least 6 or 7

I definitely learned a lot about myself in each one. I'd say each relationship was like a degree from which I graduated.

Haha! Well put.

Were you in love with all 6 or 7 of them? That seems like it would be tough to go through 6 or 7 breakups if you were in love with them.

[girl68]

Wash the cake off those high maintence gals and they aren't so hot no more. The girls that look great are the ones who look stunning with very little cake.

[QueenofCorona]

I don't think it necessarily takes relationships to figure out what you want. Maybe just life experience and knowing yourself to know what kind of person you'd be happy with.I found I wanted a man like my grandfather, just seeing how awesome he treats my grandmother. How much they still laugh and tease eachother and are still fun and romantic even though they're in their middle 80's and live in an assisted living center...they still do couples Wii bowling league afternoons. I was lucky enough to find a man like him. Not even just how well he is to my grandmother, he's just good to EVERYONE. I could never be with a snobbish man. Both my grandpa and my bf have had their up's and down's in life and appreciate the good times more because of it yet have been through the tough times in life too to be apathetic to others.

[vashti]

My first relationship lasted almost 5 years, and i learned (by far) the most from that one. Specifically, I learned what I would NOT tolerate ever again.

[Dogtoast]

Wash the cake off those high maintence gals and they aren't so hot no more. The girls that look great are the ones who look stunning with very little cake.

I don't think it necessarily takes relationships to figure out what you want. Maybe just life experience and knowing yourself to know what kind of person you'd be happy with.I found I wanted a man like my grandfather, just seeing how awesome he treats my grandmother. How much they still laugh and tease eachother and are still fun and romantic even though they're in their middle 80's and live in an assisted living center...they still do couples Wii bowling league afternoons. I was lucky enough to find a man like him. Not even just how well he is to my grandmother, he's just good to EVERYONE. I could never be with a snobbish man. Both my grandpa and my bf have had their up's and down's in life and appreciate the good times more because of it yet have been through the tough times in life too to be apathetic to others.

Girl: I know what you mean, and there are many of those types running around. I'm not too attracted to them either.

Queen: I've been going through some difficult times recently and I've really grown more in the past few months than the previous few years I think. I think you're right because as I gain life experience, I gain perspective on what I want in not just a woman, but life in general. Relationships still will play a major role though.

[girl68]

Are you aware the attraction can grow? Have you never experienced a case where a girl was just 'meh' physically but then you spend some time with this girl, chat, laugh then all of a sudden you're like huh, well she's kinda sorta cute... funny turns into 'cool' cool grows to admiration and respect and soon you realize you like her. You even think her funky style is adorable before you know it you want to jump her bones.

You need to be more open minded or you will continue to be disappointed by these snotty hight maintence, potentially gold digging girls.

[qwertz]

My first and only 'proper' ltr taught me alot of what i would not put up with or accept again.

[Dogtoast]

Are you aware the attraction can grow? Have you never experienced a case where a girl was just 'meh' physically but then you spend some time with this girl, chat, laugh then all of a sudden you're like huh, well she's kinda sorta cute... funny turns into 'cool' cool grows to admiration and respect and soon you realize you like her. You even think her funky style is adorable before you know it you want to jump her bones.

You need to be more open minded or you will continue to be disappointed by these snotty hight maintence, potentially gold digging girls.

Its really funny that you bring that up, because that is EXACTLY what happened with my most recent ex. I wasnt too into her and didnt really want to date her exclusively, then her silly grin I used to not like, became something I couldnt get enough of. Attraction grew exponentially for me. I ended up falling deeply in love with her.

Yes, I'm aware attraction can grow.

[girl68]

so then give those other girls a chance.

[Dogtoast]

so then give those other girls a chance.

I will, its just that I dont meet a ton of them really I guess.

Although, I am totally blowing off this girl who's an "other girl' to spend time with the possible gold digger from the other thread

[kuaisudi]

Until now, I really don't know how to learn what the