History repeats itself

[Ricky]

I posted a while back about a girl I was madly in love with. I loved her, was unsure if she had any feelings for me. She hooked up with somebody, dumped them half a year later, during the course of my knowing her I let her know I liked her. We haven't gotten together yet, and I hardly see her now because I live in a different dorm. I do have one class with her, and we talk on occasion, and she smiles at me. Oh, and there's another girl who asked me out for the ball, and I said I'd go. I hardly see her, either. Besides, I'm currently unsure if I want to date her or not. I guess I need to get to know her better. Still, she's tall and pretty, and I like cute and short girls.

Then, there's another girl, who is, what do you know, cute and short. She is very beautiful, actually. I knew her before, but she was out of school for a semester and now she's back. I see her a lot because she lives a couple doors down from me. We started hanging out a lot really fast, and I kind of liked her. One night she wanted to go for a walk through the campus and the town so we did. As we walked she did most of the talking, and told me about some past relationships. It was nice, I liked walking and talking with her. She thanked me for listening.

Anyway, she spent a weekend at my house and we had a nice time. We just relaxed and hung out, watched some movies and looked around town.

Lately I feel I've been annoying her with my peculiar behaviour. She seems to lose her temper at me sometimes but I can't tell if she's playing or if she is genuinely angry (for example, us and a friend were watching a movie on TV and she seemed highly annoyed when I kept asking her to change the volume. I feel bad about it).

She's single and is not looking for a boyfriend. However, on one occasion we were in our car and a lyric in a song we were listening to said "I'm tired of being alone" and she said, "that's me." On our walk she had said that for her looks wouldn't matter so much if the person has a good personality and spirit - and is Christian (I like to think of myself as a good person, but I am unfortunately Agnostic... I wonder if she makes exceptions?)

Anyway, I think I've said what I wanted to. This is more of a way for me just to vent out some stuff. Lately I've been down in the dumps because I feel underappreciated, particularly by her. It might just be me, but who knows. I'd ask her out, but am unsure. Because we hang out so much it feels like a relationship at times, and she even humorously commented on that fact. Still, at other times I think I get her pissed off because of my occasional annoying behavior and that gets me wondering if a relationship would be a good idea. Plus, I don't even know if she likes me. Buddy-buddy, or something more? Hell if I know. It seems I've been getting a bad habit of falling for short, cute girls that live near me. I hang out with them, buy them meals and little things, and fall into the friends zone. They probably see me as a buddy but I see them as a "girlfriend," and awkward moments result. I just don't know what to do, or who to pursue. I suck at this.

[Kermy]

Dude, this friend that youv'e been hanging out with seems more like she's only interested in being friends. Girls sometimes do things which might lead guys into thinking they might be looking for more. Trust me, if she wanted to be more than just friends you'd notice it. Pretty sure she would have made a move on you by now. Just let it go, she's already put you on the friends ladder and there's nothing more you can ever do about it. Find somebody else, or try to go for that other girl that you said you haven't spoke to for a long time. It might help.

[Rach]

I think that can go both ways. BOTH girls and guys do things that can get people thinking they might be intersted in them, yet they only want a friend. But, Sometimes people can go from friends to more than friends, but remember that's always extremely hard to reverse...

[Ricky]

Thanks for the comments.

I'm super confused. As of late she is not very friendly around me at times. Lately when she and I hang out we don't say much, and her emotions seem flat; I can't tell her mood.

Every now and then I try and do something goofy with bad results. Just yesterday she was in my room and was teasing me and my roommate with a Snickers bar. When she sat down, I tried to playfully grab it from her. My hand ended up hitting her under her nose and my fingernail gave her two little cuts there. I felt bad, said I was sorry, but I laughed a little as well, because the situation was funny. She tried to give me the candy bar, but I said I didn't want it, I was just playing around. She left the room and the candy bar. A little later my roommate needed some cotton balls and wanted me to check with her, so I did. She said she wasn't giving any to him, and I asked why. She told me not to ask why and to "get out of my room." Obviously she was angry with me, and later I got her to come back because we had ordered pizza and she told me she wouldn't have been angry if I hadn't laughed.

This sort of stuff happens a lot now, though not to that extreme. One time me, her, and a couple other friends were walking back from a movie, and we were goofing around. I play-pushed her lightly, and she responded with, "don't touch me." Weeks before she was play-pushing me, and now it's "don't touch me"?

Before she asked me to go for a walk with her, hung out with me, laughed, smiled, and even spent a weekend at my home with me. Now she still hangs out with me, but usually it's just to eat, and in that case she just knocks on my door as I'm waking and tells me to "hurry up." The only time she hangs around in my room now is when my roommate is here.

I wondered if it's possible that maybe she did like me and now she's annoyed with me because I was acting like I'm interested in her but not saying so. I do always pay for her movie tickets and lunches, and one time I bought her a football when she commented that she was wanting one. Am I obviously coming off as interested, and annoying her by not voicing my feelings? I knew I should of told her I liked her when we went on that walk.

Or maybe she's just getting sick of me. I dont' know, but I keep getting discouraged every time she seems angry or indifferent to me. I don't know where to go from here. She is very pretty, I did like her when she wasn't cold to me. When she's not around, I think "screw it, we're just buddies, no relationship is going to develop," but when she's around, I can't help feeling attracted. Dammit!

Oh, and then there's girls #2 and #3, #2 being the one I was in love with a while back and still see on occasion (she gave me a hug a couple days ago ), and #3 being the one who asked me to the ball (I accepted), but whom I hardly ever see (I saw her hanging around with another guy twice; they were eating together at lunch and they left together. I wonder...)

[Ricky]

Well...

Girl #3, I find out, is now going out with a guy whom I happen to know. I found this out in a conversation with him. He mentioned it matter-of-factly. I guess that means I'm not going to the ball with her. Oh well.

I have a class twice a week with girl #2, which is pretty much the only time I see her lately. We were talking and she mentions how she pissed off her ex because she told him that she was talking to somebody. I asked, "So, are you talking to him, or are you... 'talking to him?'" The latter was true. So, I guess as much as I feel I love her, and as much as she acts so cute and flirty around me, she is not interested.

As for girl #1, well, I'm not feeling anything.

(Sigh) This sucks...