my story

[justin bailey]

so recently (last week) my gf left me. we had been dating for only 9 months. about 6 months in i ran into financial problems and she said i could stay with her for a while until i got back onto my feet. she lives in a small studio, so i moved all my stuff into a storage unit and took what things i needed with me. No, i didnt help with the rent. She said once i did get financially secure I should leave. In my luxury industry it goes up and with economy down, i had a hard time making ends meet. One night she texted me to go out w. her friends and i replied that i had to get work done in the morning for a showing that night and was not able to make it. I fell asleep and my phone died. As she got drunker she sent texts that went from you never want to hang out to you we should break up and give me my keys back. I woke up 4 hours later by her coming in a screaming at me. She eventually feel asleep. The next morning we didnt talk about it, probably cause I had my showing that night and she didnt want to spoil my parade. The next day I confronted her about it while we were in bed and she was like, ive been with you for 9 months and i feel like i should feel more for you. I wish i felt about you how you felt about me. So at that point we spent that day watching movies and laying in bed holding each other. the next day i started to pack up my stuff, but stayed there another night, where once again she came home drunk and we held each other and fell asleep. The next day I fully moved everything out and gave her a hug and left. She asked me if i would like to stay another night. I said no and that was the last time i spoke to her, well except she texted me thanks for moving her TV back into her room. i replied "No prob." and that was it. somewhere in the midst she ask if i still wanted her to come to a chinese new years event on sunday (tomorrow, which is also valentines). I'm debating if i should say yes or no. I'd love to see her, but fear for my heart to start hurting again. I'm hoping that with some space we can work it out, but also fear rejection, which will land me at point one again.

I havent been eating, nor sleeping. I've been popping RX pills from friends left and right to ease the anxiety and panic. Also, right now she lives 2 major streets from where I am staying, I am avoiding that street at all cost.

Advice please? I havent been this bent out of shape ever over a girl. Well, once 7 yrs ago, and I ran across the country to escape her and just cut it off cause I knew there was no chances of "us" again. With this one i feel like theres a chance.

Thanks.

Sorry for no punctuation.

[joy&freedom]

Well, maybe this Sunday would be a good opportunity to talk about your relationship. Surely you can't take seriously someone who's drunk. You should talk it over in a quiet situation.The thing she's trying to contact you is a good sign. Maybe you just need a little "rest" from each other, maybe your living together was too fast a decition... I hope soon you'll be together again.

[ricerocket1]

so technically did you guys broke up? i mean you know what you want and i suggest you should go for it.

[justin bailey]

Yeah we broke up. Is a week enough time to start talking again though? Esp. when it comes to talking about "working things out?"

What I want and what I can do not to avoid messing things up beyond repair is where i could use some differentiating.

[cmacattack1]

Right now, I think she's feeling the lonliness part more than the "working things out" part. She's alone and doesn't want to be, so even though she still doesn't "feel that" with you she still likes having you around until the next person comes along. I think you both need to apart on your own past this lonliness phase. I'm sure she's a good person, and you want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but we all act in a very similar manner. If you guys are apart for a good amount of time and she still wants something with you, maybe she really does feel something. No matter what happens though, it's much too soon. You gotta get yourself back on your feet and you have to let her know that this is what she wanted, even if she is second guessing herself now.

[justin bailey]

its 10:45 and we were supposed to be out by 10 a.m., and she didn't call. I'm gonna chalk this up for what its worth and hold my distance and NC. It's probably the best for me.



I don't think I want to move on and get over her, cause I dont want to let her go.
Am I wrong for thinking this though?

[Illusional]

i dunno if this post will be in time, however, i think that because things are still fresh between you two, you guys should try it again. i know that if it doesn't work out, that this will hurt a lot... but unfortunately you are going to have to risk a lot if you want to gain a lot.

raverboy

[justin bailey]

She texted me @ 12:45
and the following texts goes as

HER: so were not going anymore?
H: You said you were going to call me around 10 today
ME: sorry I thought you were going to call me. I was just giving you space. how r u doing?
H: fine you?
M: im doing the best i can
H: who are you there with...
M: " " and". It was pretty lame. Mostly vendors. no real culture.
M: Sorry our plans got messed up. It wasnt out of im mad at you or anything
H:its fine im sorry it sucked
H: Next time you should be in charge of it. was there a lot of white people?
M:yeah i guess i should. it was a lot of asians and a lot of insurance co. booths.. weird.
H: ha for all the car crashes we get
M:good point i didnt think of that . but i drive under 25 ..not like you driving a kaziliion mph. haha
H: I ate your cheese its
M: I figured as much while watching tudors
H: NO lost
M: the new one
H: yeah online
M: i figured so much saying you dont have tv

I know its all small talk but .............trying not to over analyze it.

Advice?

[Illusional]

so you're an asian guy huh?? well your text seemed nothing out of the ordinary imo.

raverboy

[justin bailey]

She was making a bunch of small talk................ does it mean anything? Still think about me, just friends, anything?

[Illusional]

haha i dunno.. i'm not her. BUT i will tell you that she still has feelings for you. to what degree, that is what you're going to have to talk to her about.

raverboy

[cmacattack1]

It doesn't sound like she wants to give you a straight answer. I'm on the side of she wants to keep you talking to her unless something better comes along and if it doesn't, she'll come to you.

[Illusional]

f*ck being the bad burner... that is total bullshit.

raverboy

[justin bailey]

I'm still NC her. It's SO hard. I'm a mess everyday. I figure once I get up and my feet again and get into my apartment in a few weeks to maybe contact her then and talk to her. Hopefully i wont run into her till then.

[justin bailey]

last night around midnight i get a text from her
H:hey whats are you up to
M:laying down. u?
H: At a bar then home
H:I saw the lead singer (from a band we listened to when we first got together)
M:cooll.
H: i kinda want you to come over tonight, but i have to work early
M: maybe tomorrow then?
H:Maybe

I left it at that
Was she looking for a bootie call or did she actually miss me?