is he controling or am i crazy?

[juliep123]

So here's my problem. I feel like my relationship with my boyfriend has changed greatly the last 6 months. He pretty much thinks he can do whatever he wants. Why do I say this? Here are some examples. He says that he can look at porn, but I can't. He can do drugs, but I can't.(i dont even want to but thats besides the point). He treats my son like shit (obviously my son is not his) he always yells when hes talking to him, hes always smacking him too hard on his head and doing shit that basically makes my son stop and be quiet. his mood changes so much when my bf is around. My boyfriend and i live together and he goes and locks himself in OUR room. If i have to go in there im forced to knock and he asks me what i want. I dont believe i should have to do that in my own room. I do not have space of my own like that. I am forced to stay in the living room where he barges in whenever he wants even when i ask for alone time. He even says that he will always barge in on me. Just recently i found naked pictures of one of his friends that he has. He would freak if i did that and he keeps telling me its no big deal. I have gotten a bloody nose, and bruises from him. He says he only fights back when i get physical but i have never tried to hurt him like he has me. It's mostly when i tell him to leave me alone and give me my space, but he will not get away from me. He grabs me, holds on to me, follows me around. Yea im gonna get upset. My son had to get staples in his head because of his stupidity. As of right now, my chest is burning because he squeezed me too hard. My arm is bruised and skin was taken off because he shoved me when i was trying to go up the stairs to my bedroom. he was trying to keep me from going up there for some reason. He smokes and lies to me about it even when i know for a facts hes doing it. How do i know? because i can smell it. i find ashes and butts all over. Theres just shit upon shit lately and i cant take it anymore. id like both guy and girls opinions please. is he controling or what? why is it always his way? why is he hurting me all of a sudden? the only time i ever am a bitch to him is when he restraints me and wont let go of me. i do this guys laundry, i cook him dinner. why am i getting treated like this? somebody please help.

[bara.beat]

I'm sorry but he is more than just controlling, he's abusive. If I were you I would take my son and get the hell out of there and away from him.

[*D*]

you are definitely in a tough situation but its one you NEEd to get out of immedietely!! He already gets physical with you and your son and thats not a healthy environment for you and your son. Before things get any worse i feel you need to get out asap. There is never a good reason for a man to put his hands on a woman nor a helpless child. Its pretty sad that you have let this happen especially to your son. I know its hard to get away but i have faith in you. Make the necessary moves to get out and be safe both for you and your son. I hope you can. Does anyone close to you know that this is going on? im sure you can always reach out to someone that you are close to to help you get out of the relationship. or do you even want out?

[Illusional]

so if you know that you have a shitty bf, why do you stay with him???


raverboy

[juliep123]

things were different in the beginning. he was never like this. i had come out of a horrible relationship before and was promised id never be treated this way again. when it comes to my son getting staples. this occured because he says a dog bone slipped out of his hand. i dont know what to believe but he says it was not on purpose. i let him read my post and he wants me to add that i was swinging at him. well like i said..when u restrain me im gonna get upset.

[thewhiterabbit]

Honey, why doesn't matter. I know you want the answer because you think that you can fix it, or you're just wondering what went wrong. You need to get away. This isn't normal, or something you should have to live with. You deserve more than some guy trying to "prove he's a man" by beating on his girl. And if you really want a "why" it's probably because he started taking something new. I know a lot of druggies. Ones that have done different drugs during different times in their lives. Some drugs effect a person to the point that they aren't themselves anymore. I don't mean this to say that you should try to save him, either. Sometimes that can be done, but not in a situation where you're being hurt, too.

I really REALLY hope that you take the advice that others have given. These things rarely get better and almost always get worse. You don't want to lose your son or have your son lose you, right? Because if you stay there's a high probability of that happening. Please take care of yourself.

[juliep123]

i know he is not a druggy, so its not like that. please look passed the drug comment when making your own statements.

[thewhiterabbit]

things were different in the beginning. he was never like this. i had come out of a horrible relationship before and was promised id never be treated this way again. when it comes to my son getting staples. this occured because he says a dog bone slipped out of his hand. i dont know what to believe but he says it was not on purpose. i let him read my post and he wants me to add that i was swinging at him. well like i said..when u restrain me im gonna get upset.

You're facilitating his actions by letting him read the forum. These replies are to YOU not him. He already knows what he's done, so what is his need to read this? I'll tell you, it's to make sure you know that you can't do something without him knowing about/approving it. Don't let him control you.

[thewhiterabbit]

i know he is not a druggy, so its not like that. please look passed the drug comment when making your own statements.

I don't understand why you would put it there if it didn't have some impact on things, but, alas, I only said "probably".

Not to attack you, but it seems as though you're taking up for him. If you continue to do that then nothing we say will make a difference.

[juliep123]

he just seems to believe i am not making this a fair choice. that i made it one sided. he wants to explain his side or something.

[thewhiterabbit]

There's no explanation for causing harm to another person UNLESS HIS LIFE WAS IN DANGER.

[juliep123]

i dont know. apparently he is going to make a post here. to show people his side. should be interesting.

[misombra]

how could you stay with a man who treats your child like shit?

you are vicariously treating your son like shit by staying there.

your poor child.

[lovesjoyajm]

Yeah, it's bad enough to tolerate it yourself, but there shouldn't even be a question with your son involved. Get your son out of there! I can't even imagine how traumatic it must be for the poor kid. The longer you stay with this asshole, the worse it will hurt your son.

[IndiReloaded]

You're crazy. He's a dirtbag. Your child is suffering b/c you lack self control.

You will hate me for saying this, but only because you know its true: you suck. ****ing sort yourself out for your child's sake and get away from this asshole today.

I don't give a crap what your BF has done. Its YOUR responsibility to protect your child. People like you shouldn't be allowed to have children.