Wanted to Share My Experience. . .

[canndee]

I just did something that was *very* helpful and, granted I did spend a lot of money, but it was well worth it:

Because it was Valentine's weekend and I was dreading being reminded of my new "singledom" I rented myself a nice hotel room for a couple of nights. I am incredibly glad I did this! Something magical happened to me and maybe it was because I got away from all of the negative vibes that were dragging me down. While at the hotel I took bubble baths (which I can't do at my apartment because I have a stand-up shower), I read books, I ordered room service, and I simply relaxed. In the beginning I missed my ex and was sad he wasn't sharing the comfortable king-sized bed with me but I let that thought go and let myself enjoy my alone time. And, boy, did I!! I really opened my mind and when I looked in the mirrors at the hotel I saw a beautiful girl (and I haven't felt beautiful in a long time.) And, most importantly, I convinced myself that I'm ready to move on. Granted, I'm not going to force myself to find someone new but I'm opening up my heart again and will allow love with someone new when the time comes. I realized that my ex isn't thinking of me so I don't need to think about him anymore. And I don't want him back unless I'm sure he can love me the way I deserve to be loved (but he'd have to change a lot to achieve that and people don't change that easily.)

So, if any of you are still under the stress of your break-up, give yourself a "mini vacation". Pamper yourself. It helped me start to let go and I'm hoping it can do the same for you. Save up some money and just get away.

[sookie6]

I can't stand this fliiping Valentine's Day.

Yesterday on a reality TV program one of my favourite people was crying her eyes out because she was having the blues. She never never got flowers for V-Day meaning no luck in love and you could see she was very upset and feeling low.

This day is ****ing rubbish and discriminatory!

You did a good thing to treat yourself yesterday. Us singleton have it tougher than the lovebirds!!!

Anyway I still wish I had a Valentine!!!

[QueenofCorona]

You know, even though I am in a loving relationship I spent Valentine's Day in a hospital watching my grandma slowly slip away with brain cancer. I did get to spend it with my mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandpa, cousin, sister, niece, and nephew. For a horribly sad situation I still felt loved though. Its definitely a Valentine's Day I will never forget. Valentine's Day shouldn't be about waiting for someone else proving their love to you through cards, flowers, or candy. Having love for yourself is much more important.

Good for you, Canndee. Use this as the begining of the end of feeling blue. Keep up that strong and posititive attitude.

[canndee]

Queen of Corona: I am so sorry to hear that there was sadness during your Valentine's but, you're right, the day is about *love* whether it's self-love, the love of your family, or being with the person you're in a relationship with. The cards, chocolates, and flowers don't matter. Though your day was sad I'm sure there was comfort for your grandma because she had the love of her family surrounding her.
And thank you for your words of support!!

[cmacattack1]

That is tragic Corona. No matter how much you prepare for that, it's still never easy. You have a bright deposition despite that.

That sounds great that you did that Canndee. I hope it really has a strong, long lasting boost on your confidence.

I spent my Valentine's having beer and pizza with a friend. I even spent the night before fumbling in the kitchen cooking dinner for a girl.

It was alright at the time, but today I still feel kind of down in the dumps. Maybe because I was the shitty boyfriend before until my ex got fed up and she dumped me, but I wouldn't shoot down the concept that people don't change. It takes a little time and doesn't happen overnight, but if you had such an impact on them, it's possible.

Wondering if you got any other tips or advice for keeping your head up?

[canndee]

Honestly. . .meditation has also been extremely helpful in keeping me balanced through this hard time. I don't know what anyone's religious beliefs are but whether you choose to pray, chant, or just "enjoy the silence" it really does clear the mind. Two meditations that I engage in are meditations that I learned from a book called "Life Magic" (Laura Bushnell).

With one I lie down and try to quiet my mind (this is very hard but the more you practice it the better you get.) Whenever you start to "think" just try to let the thought pass quickly and focus on silence. Once you feel like your mind is quiet you inhale (through your nose) and fill your lungs. Then you hold your breath until you feel like your about to burst. Then let the air out and repeat this 6 more times (total of 7). Whenever I finish this meditation I feel completely relaxed and sometimes I even feel like I'm floating.

The other is very similar but you don't have to hold your breath. You just sit in a chair or couch and practice clearing your head. If you can't clear your head (which, again, takes a while) you say to yourself, in your mind, "I am learning to love myself totally. . ." Usually when I feel "clear" I feel totally relaxed and that's when I start to have revelations about my life and what I want.

For those who aren't into meditating, praying, etc. exercise truly does work magic. Not only can you get your agression out but exercise releases the "happy" chemicals in the brain. Not to mention, you start to feel good about yourself because you're treating yourself well and a new physique certainly helps build self-esteem.

[Roymax]

***oops! please delete this part due to accidental double posting***

[Roymax]

QueenofCorona, sorry to hear about what your grandmother is going through. The main thing is that you were there with her along with the family. I lost my grandmother to lung cancer back in 2001.

canndee, I've been thinking about what you posted earlier in my other thread. Since my last divorce in 2006 I've been thinking of renting this beach house in North Carolina were I stayed with my aunt for quite sometime. Come to think of it may be I should. I think it will help me reflect better on my life and clear my head from everyday distraction. I will try to make plans for this. May be take a friend along. I'm also a firm believer in quite time at least once a day everyone should take time out of their hectic schedule and clear their mind even with a nap. I also find exercise to help relieve my stressful tension. Hopefully, I may eventually find someone who thinks like you.