I Want Revenge! Or at least to dump him the painful way!

[iCraveRevenge]

Hey guys,

Here's something to read and probably laugh at because my story is stupid.

I just got out of a really bad relationship. The guy was a total jerk. And I couldn't believe I left everything I had because he said we're going to be together after his business trip, and to comeback home from vacation to know that he's gone and ran away and changed his number. And when I emailed him, he said I'm crazy for sending him messages!! I only e-mailed him 3 times within 2 weeks, to find out whats going on since he didn't reply the last emails right after he changed his number and left. I think it's normal to ask what's going on, it's not crazy. Anyway I got so depressed but I wanted to move on.

So there I was starting from scratch, no job, no place to stay, no money. I posted a personal ad, and met this guy online. Naturally I'm a very nice woman, and maybe a little naive sometimes. So I fell for this guy, and I thought he was something different. He knew about what happened to my last relationship before him, because I met him when I was still trying to forget my ex bf.

We spoke for a month, and he said he's going to marry me etc etc, and he's out there trying to rent a bigger place for us. Everything he said was true, until, I added him on a website A, but he didn't add me because he said he's rarely online in that site. There it just hits me, and my instinct kicked and I felt he has something to hide. I'm usually not bothered with this, I just dump the guy, but this one, for some reason, I just needed to know so I can just get on with life without unanswered questions like my last relationship.

I did some detective work lol I just don't want to be burn again, I noticed he changed his e-mail add so he couldn't be found by people, but he forgot that I added him already means I can still see his page, and that he edit his privacy so no one could see his friends list, and that he added some apps and pages. That also means, he lied, he does open that site every now and then. Yet, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Until, one day, I was using another site, and I saw him opened a new account, and I stalked his profile. LOL I know, lame right. He deleted it, and then opened another one and I got the new account too. Long story short, I broke up with him like 2 times, but then he said he wants to make it work, please don't do this etc etc...

Then after another month, he was getting friskier, and yeah, he got what he wanted. Because I thought, if he wanted that, why didn't he do it months ago, I was sure it was just a guy thing. Means cyber and my private pics that I've never done before. Stupid hey.

Today, however, he said he was sick, he said his bro has swine flu, and he just couldn't eat anything, and going to the hospital. I saw his status on his profile, it said "watching a movie". And I said, "You just don't want to talk to me", and he said "I'm really sick, I can't eat anything, but I'm sorry if you feel that way, then do what you have to do...etc etc..." I gave him another benefit of the doubt, again, and asked him to send me the hospital's number so I could call him and to check up on him to see if he feels better. He didn't reply, but I peeked on his status he said he's smoking weed (I don't even know he does that) and he's drunk.

I decided to give my full effort on this one, maybe to prove me wrong. I pretended to be someone else and I contacted him. He took the bait. And he lied lied and lied about everything. The whole time I was trying to breathe slowly so I won't burst and tell him to his face that I'm me and how I want him to rot in hell.

I sent a test email on my real email and said good things, and I was being a nice girl too on the fake ID, I want to see which one he choose. But to be honest with you, now, I just want to dump him. But I want it to be as painful as possible, to use someone who's in a fragile and gullible state to actually screw her again, is so uncool. He could just say, hey I'm only here for the cyber sex and pics, then I would just switch off my feelings and it would be fair because he's given me a choice. You don't tell a girl you love her, you want to marry her, you etc etc this girl for that. That's not right.


Right now, he doesn't know that I know. And he also thinks my fake ID is this sweet girl who believes everything he said. The question is, should I tell him that I know and that I did all that crap for him? You know, I don't feel like telling him that. Or just calling him names to make me feel better without explanation? OR..... tell his family about this? LOL I dunno. I'm very hurt and I was shivering the whole time I spoke to him on my fake ID. I just couldn't believe I was out from a jerk and met another jerk. But whatever, at least I know now about him before we actually get married. Like I don't even know that he's into drugs and stuff until I did this detective work....


Thank you for reading I hope you guys had fun. And please give me an advice on how to dump him or what I should do.

[lhn]

An eye-for-an-eye can be good, especially with people who behave in such a stupid & selfish way however, if you're looking to hurt him emotionally, I think that might be tougher to do than you think.

Cut your ties of such a loser and find someone else.
So much effort going into something so shallow can't be a good thing?

[iCraveRevenge]

I'm not ugly, but I'm faithful. It's like if there is a God, He showed me other guys who can make me happier, and that happened yesterday, there are at least 2 men hitting on me, and I wasn't even trying, we laughed a lot, and it ended very well, and it dawned on me, that was the first time I actually laugh and have fun after so many months. Thanks for the advice lhn. But do u think I should tell him I know what's going on?

[dragonqueen]

I think you should tell him that you know about his lame game and that you can prove he lied to you.He has to realize that he cant make a fool out of you even if u ending up everything.
If you guys only talked mostly online then i seriously dont understand why u took it this serious about the love and marriage thing he said.Thats kind of weird.

Anyways i think he wont care if you leave him or not since he is being online and talking to many chicks AND DIDNT stop when he got with you.That shows you -you cant count on him and he loves to lie.

Tell him that you know he is a player and your girl talked to him online and told you all of it.Since he lied to you lie to him.Then leave it all alone and cutt him off

[iCraveRevenge]

Yeah I know it is pretty weird to actually believe in him. But I was fragile and I thought he was different. Maybe because he introduced me to his family, even when it's online. But now I'm not sure that they are his family. Anyway. Thank you DragonQueen.

[dragonqueen]

I understand where you coming from because back in the days i met men online and many lied-thats the biggest risk you take when you meet people online.
I also met cool guys and we are friends since years online,but back to you....I think you should also learn from this experience and move on.Dont trust a guy that just met you online when he speaks about love and marry you.

Oh and let that weirdo know that his lame game is over with you lol

[lhn]

Thanks for the advice lhn. But do u think I should tell him I know what's going on?

I think you should take a step back and think, whats the point?!
If you tell him and let out all your anger - and he doesn't show a response, then you will just feel frustrated that he still didn't give a shit.
If he does show a response, it will more than likely be something immature just like his behaviour so far. Either that or he will just lie some more.

You don't even need to tell him anything... he's history. Be happy that you didn't stoop

[iCraveRevenge]

lhn, I think you're right. I don't think putting up a guilt trip on him would work as much as just stop talking to him anymore. Thank u.

[Chazza2k]

Hey iCraveRevenge,

Sounds like you found out what he's like and how untrustworthy he is and I can understand how upsetting that is in that you trusted him and he broke that trust. Craving revenge though to get back at him you do risk your own good self in basically stooping down to his levels. You already had to create false profiles and basically stalk him to find any truth, count yourself lucky you see him for what he is now and not later on? If your looking to make him suffer it will probably backfire and effect you more than him, hes already a proven liar and he will just lie some more to get out of it. Id say cut him out of your life, block him and move on and find someone who will treat you right.

Goodluck.

[lastwish]

LMAO. Don't try to take revenge because it would just make you look more desperate. Just don't contact him anymore.

[Lovable]

I agree, don't contact him anymore at all. It's a gut reaction to want revenge, but seriously this guy is a player online & obviously since he's a player & a liar he won't care if you go off on him. You will be wasting time & energy on a jerk off & for what??

[Roymax]

As a person who has met and married someone on line (AOL version 3.0 chatroom lol) back in 1998 I can assure you that you'll need to spend a whole lot more time off line at least living with them first in order for you to get a better understanding of who they really are. I've met nearly 30 people off line already but that didn't happen over night. I've known them for many years on another forum. Trust is earned and shouldn't be given out of desperation.

The thing that people have to understand in the on line world is that some of the them behind those screen names want to remain anonymous. It's an anonymous type environment which makes it easier for people to express their feelings without giving away their identity to see what clicks and not have to worry about the consequences offline. Off line they can have completely different intentions you didn't expect them to have. People change their profiles on line everyday having a different one on each site. Obviously, this guy wasn't really serious about his intentions on being with you long term unless you gave him reason not to be. It takes two on line to agree on being honest about their feelings with each other. Another thing you'll have to except in the anonymous on line environment is that you may never get any kind of closure what's so ever. He's already shown his true colors by the actions he has taken that prove to be contrary to what he wanted you to believe. I feel your pain and am sorry that you have been mislead. Don't waste your time with seeking revenge. The only thing you can do right now is to learn from this experience and not make the same mistake again.

Don't give up hope just yet. It is possible that you can actually meet a genuine person on line and marry them but only with the right approach.

[VincenzoG91]

Forget about him. Just go No Contact and be done with it. Plotting revenge just lets him continue to take up excessive space in your thoughts.

Then take a hard look at yourself. You don't seem to have good taste in guys. Is there a type that you are attracted to, and if so, does it reflect an issue that you can work on?

[cmacattack1]

Did you ever actually meet this guy? Or you just gave him cyber sex and naked pictures?

[iCraveRevenge]

LOL. Look, I know what I did was wrong and stupid. On a normal day I wouldn't have done that, but at the time it felt like it was something right todo, I dunno if you get this without judging me first, but yes, I know what I did was wrong but I'm over that.

And no, I'm not slutty. I'm beautiful and I have a brain lol. If I'm the victim it's not because I like it. I just met the wrong guys. If you had to start from scratch and you were in a solitary corner in your room thinking of suicidal thoughts then all of the sudden there's this guy who talked to you, cheered u up and made u feel a lil better, what do u want to do with that? Of course u would feel that at least he cares about u, but now I know that's not the case for me.

I think case closed. I just sent him a short email saying "Goodbye. I know who u really are". My feelings are so numb right now that I couldn't even cry anymore, I've been trying to date and meet other people since yesterday, I haven't met the right candidate but at least it helps me build my self esteem back. Everything is such a blessing after I found out what happened, I got my old job back and I'm staying in my old rent. Lesson learned, move on.