How many of your...

[Mish]

...friends have a family or are planning to start a family? (have children) What do you think about that?



I went to my friend's 30th birthday party over the weekend and I realized that out of 20+ people there (most in their mid 30s) only 4 either had a family of their own or planned to start one in the near future. Most were single. That's less than 25% of people who will have a family in the near future. And directly extending this thought to all of the other friends I have (also in their late twenties to late thirties) I can say that only about 20% either have a family or plan to start one in the future. The other 80% are single. Seeing that quite a few of them are approaching their 40s (biological clock / psychological limits) and are pretty set in their ways I think the chances are high they will stay single and will never have kids of their own in the future.

This makes me think that if in a couple of years time I have a family I will probably be in the minority as far as my friends are concerned. Some will probably have a difficult time adjusting to my new set of priorities and some will probably have to go. Though I'm also interested to know how true this is for others. How many of your friends are in the same situation? I think if 20% figure is similar for everyone then it's a pretty alarming indication of what's to come.

[Petit Papillon]

Not friends but ex class mates, ex school mates that I knew ( so people in my age or 1 year older) ... When I was at highschool, 3 girls at my class were already pregnant. Today, from people I know, one girl is married and have child, other is in a relationship,just gave a birth to a child. Another one is having a baby but I think she split up with her bf. Besides on a polish social network all the time I see someone is posting USG pics or preggo pics...
And now when I compare my generation to a generation of my sister and my oldest brother... Maybe few friends of them are married, but I actually didn't hear about any friend of them that have kids... Reason? No time because of job, not enough money ,not ready etc etc...
I think each 10 years the situation is changing . Like my generation is quite more family ready,the 10 years after generation will be already focused more on career .
And I'm kind of like between. I would like to get education and job first but then I wouldn't mind to ground a family.But then again ,I know I need good job to keep it all ok.But I definately don't want to have kids late.Oh well... I want to have all , kids,family,job and money

It's just my observation.

[starbuck]

Of the two married couples I know here in NYC, neither wants to have kids right now. One couple doesn't want to have them because one of them "doesn't like" kids. As for the other married couple, she is working while he is finishing film school, so there are other priorities that are coming first for them.

But then again, people generally move to NYC to pursue their ambitions not to start families so I'm not sure how my experiences would compare with the rest of the country.

[Lipp]

Out of my similar age range friends I only know of one who is engaged, rest have no such plans as of yet.

[Aeradalia]

Almost all of my friends from high school have children with the exception of one or two. They have fallen to the wayside since then. Many of the people I am around now have started families, midway through family life, or beginning to get them out of the nest.

My own view on the issue is kind of complicated. If I were to have children I'd have to slowly wean off the medications, endure the full effect of bipolar for 9+ months, have a higher chance of postpartum depression, and then have to rush to stabilize before the child started walking. Motherhood wouldn't be impossible, just more difficult.

I've taken to studying parenting, brush up on child psychology, and weighing the responsibilities of children versus my immediate responsibilities right now. For the time being, I think I'd make for a better aunt than a mother.

[vashti]

When you actually HAVE a family, you will find a whole new set of friends with kids. Trust me, there are plenty of people getting knocked up out there. I don't think we are on the verge of extinction just yet....

[QueenofCorona]

I'm literally the only one of "my group" that is childless. Its a lonely feeling at times and I definitely feel left out or like I can't relate to certain things like my parental friends do. My boyfriend has 2 little girls which I love but they have a mom (an absent one) but they have a mother. No matter how close to them I get, I'm still the odd one out. I don't mind rolling with people who have kids. My sister has kids, 99% of my friends do too so I'm so used to it and realize they can't just up and do certain things without warning or planning out a sitter and all that.

On the other hand I still have lots of freedoms, spending money, and less worry than them. I wouldn't really say my biological clock is ticking, that whole saying skeeves me, but I am thinking about my future and if that includes children. I know that I have to get this figured out in the next 5 years or so, I'll be 35 in 5 years. Agh. So if I choose to get pregnant I'd want to do it no later than 35.

On another note, I did overhear my boyfriend talking to his friend this weekend. We were out with another couple. I heard him say he'd like to have another child. That news is sort of monumental to me because he has a vasectomy and we havent' had that talk yet about kids. I'm glad to know its at least on the table as something in the future.

[Aeradalia]

When you actually HAVE a family, you will find a whole new set of friends with kids. Trust me, there are plenty of people getting knocked up out there. I don't think we are on the verge of extinction just yet....

Of course... where do you think the last minute babysitter comes from -- friends and family. Learning what to expect from a child -- ask your friends and family. It's a complete support system for parents.

Last thing I'd want to do is take on parenthood solo...