Need a little advice

[hazeleyes]

I have a long time friend who I eventually fell in love with, but I was scared to tell him because I'm shy & I was scared of how he would react & he messes around with alot of girls. Well, we had both moved away to different states & lost contact with each other, but I always thought about him & wondered if I would ever see him again. About 2 yrs later, he searched & found me on myspace. So we wrote to each other through there & sometimes spoke on the phone. I thought everything was ok, that I was over him & & what I felt was just love for him as a friend, but now he just moved here on Sunday afternoon and I was with him Sunday night & Tuesday night & now I can't stop thinking about him. The feelings have come back. I really want to tell him, but he has a girlfriend now with a kid (well 5 kids, but only one is his) And I'm not the type of girl that would be a "b***h'' and call his girl & say ''yo guess what..i'm sleeping with your man & have been even b4 you got with him" Also he's told me before that he likes the way our relationship is because we get to be together when no one was around, but we're not in a relationship so neither of us would get hurt by being with other people. BUT he did say once or twice that if I ever got pregnant we would move away together where no one knew us & once we found wach other again he said that he was jealous of my boyfriend and has told me ''i love you'' before. So, what I'm asking is should I tell him how I feel or just keep it all inside?

[Doc Durian]

Don't sleep with involved men.

[Emesis]

Keep it all inside. You had your chance before. He has a girlfriend and a child now. There's no sense in ruining that.

[hazeleyes]

He always had a girlfriend. Lost count on how many which is one reason I never said anything because if he cheated on them..he would do it to me, just that before it seemed easier to hold it in, now I want him to know how I feel. I' m just worried it might push him away.

[Emesis]

Are you saying he's only had 1 girlfriend since you have known him?

[vashti]

You are sleeping with him? Are you a friend or a fcuk-buddy?

[hazeleyes]

No, that I know of it's been five serious ones, but he's messed with alot on the side. The one he moved away with before is the one he's still with now, but I doubt he loves her. When she wasn't home he was calling me to come over.

[hazeleyes]

You are sleeping with him? Are you a friend or a fcuk-buddy?

Started out as just bed buddies, now we're friends, but we're still sleeping together. Twice since he moved here on Sunday. Now I can't stop thinking about him

[Doc Durian]

It's a dead end street unless he's willing to part with his cheating ways.

I was in your situation many years ago and she tried to do the very same thing under my nose with a mate of mine.

She ended up in the spare bedroom on an inflatable air mattress for the remainder of her stay (didn't have a doghouse at the time) and my mate and I dissolved our friendship.

Completely cut off contact with her a few months later and avoid her like the plague if I ever stop in the old hometown and spot her in the pubs.

But it was kharma and I learnt my lesson.

People are either free and clear to start a real relationship or it's just a convenient empty out no matter how great the friendship once was.

Haven't spoken to her in nearly 9 years. She can rot in hell for all I care.

[vashti]

Oh lawd! Don't get yourself knocked up. My crystal ball doesn't see good things for your future with him.

[hazeleyes]

Oh lawd! Don't get yourself knocked up.

Well that's a whole other issue since we didn't use protection & he didn't pull out either, but I'm not trying to even think about that. Just my luck on my last year of college that would happen to me.

Anyway..I'm not trying to break up his family, though I could care less about his girlfriend, I don't want his daughter to be without her dad and he's a good father, but on the other hand I do want him with me. And it makes e curious how he really feels cause for 2 years we had no idea where each other was. Then 3 yrs after he finds me, he moves here, calls me when he's on his way, called when he got here & called again when he rested because he wanted to see me. He also beat the crap out of this guy he saw pushed me against a building hard. No guy ever defended me or was there for me like he did.

[vashti]

You ARE gonna get yourself knocked up, aren't you?

[blondy2]

I don't think I would tell him right now. I would probably wait a while and observe him and his relationship.

[traceylee36]

Give it up. Plain and simple..isn't his past enough for you to break free of him? You are addicted to him thinking you will be the one that stops him cheating. You are not that girl no one is. Cut him off and find someone that is going to love you for who you are. You are worth it ok

[hazeleyes]

You are addicted to him thinking you will be the one that stops him cheating.

Funny you should say that, I was joking with my friend and said he's become like my own personal brand of heroin lol. It just confuses the hell out of me in those few hours we spent together all these feelings come rushing back. Maybe since I had planned on waiting to have sex for the first time until I got older and it was someone I was serious with, but my first boyfriend had broke up with me on Christmas cause I didn't want to sleep with him. So I was really upset. Anyways long story short, I went to a new years eve party where my best friend lived & he was there. He was flirting with me all night, asking me questions, saying how pretty I was, etc.. & because I was still angry, I decided if he did try anything, I'd do it to get revenge on my ex. Well..we did & at first I regretted it because after that he didn't really talk to me for the rest of the night, but eventually we became close & the feelings got stronger for him. So maybe since he was my first ..I still feel a bond towards him. All my friends are saying ''tell him! fcuk that ho (his girl) and go for yours." And I was so close to telling him on Tuesday, but he was so stressed cause he needs to find a job & a house & he misses his daughter and his dog, so I couldn't do it. Part of me thinks ever since he told me he likes the way we are cause no ne gets hurt might be a nicer way in saying he just want his cake & eat it too. Being able to sleep with me and also any girl he wants, but him being so sweet & cuddling up to me saying how much he missed me & that he loves me confuses me. Guess maybe it's cause I really want him to feel that way.

uggh..I'm just gonna focus on my homework & projects for now..maybe I can stop thinking about him for a few hours