why do i feel this way??? is it just me?

[dyno31225]

Hi everyone. I have some feeling in my heart that I just can't seem to get rid of.

Me and my current fiancee has been together for a year and a half. we been through so much things together its unbelievable. I stuck by him through thick and thin but something in my heart feels like nothing is settled. When we first got together, he was still currently married. I didn't mean for it to happen but it did. I know that you should never mess with a married man but me and him started to get really close and he told me that he loved me and he was never happy with his wife (his family knew he wasn't happy) but the only reason why he stuck with her is because of his 3 kids. She never let him go out at least one night. She never and refused to work (the longest job she kept for was 3 months and decided to quit because she said she didnt feel like working), my current fiancee was the only one that worked throughout the 7 years they have been married and took care of his kids when he got back from work cause she would state that shes tired. Anyways, so 3 months into our relationship i felt bad, so i told him to go back to his wife and work it out with her for the sake of his kids. He tried, but he left and said that he missed me too much and he love me and only me. So we get back together. Then a 2 months after, he tells me that he's going back home and he's going to work it out with her. Then I was so heartbroken..... i felt so miserable. but later i though to myself.... thats what i get for messing with a married man. On the same day, he said that he cant do it. he realized that he wants to be with me and only me. (oh yeah... when he told me that he was going back home... he text her that he was off work and called her mahal =/ ) I thought i about it and worked it out with him.. yeah i know love is blind. so he really did try, but he would always help her out. he used to live with her but he helped her clean the backyard, put together his kids beds, and letting her borrow the car when she wanted to go out. Interestingly, she would bitch at him and call him useless and a bad father.... i talked about it to him that he shouldn't help her out. She doesnt appreciate it. I explained it to him and he understood. So later down the months, they do the paper work for divorce. during those months she would text him and bitch at him and i felt like she always tried to keep an eye on him. she wanted visitation for hiim from friday - sunday, so he doesnt go out. he pays child support and want to spend as much time with his kids, but she always threatens him and says she's going to call the cops. argh.... i dont know... i try to talk to him about this but it just seems like he doesnt understand. well anyways, his divorce is going to be final on april 8 and he wants to start a family with me. that's how i know that he loves me.... so i know you guys are wondering... where does the question "why am i feeling this?" well here it is:

today he went to the court to speak with the judge, prior me and him were talking and i asked him when did he decide that he didn't want to be with his wife anymore? and he said after his 3rd kid was born which was 2 years ago. then he said it was like on and off when he wanted to leave her.... so when he said that.. for some reason i felt doubts.... like when you say on and off, was it because you still love her or you stayed because of the kids.it made me feel like he somewhat still cares and loves her.... i always said that they were weird because she treats it like they're still married but live in separate houses. i don't know.... i know he loves me cause he wouldnt do all this.... but why do i feel doubts? somebody please tell me....

if i left anything out.. im sorry..... but thanks for reading this long post.... it just bothers me..... and i just need some answers...

[VincenzoG91]

Deep down, you know that your relationship with him could end the same way.

[honeyb]

VincenzoG91 is right, it's because he walked out on not only her but their 3 kids too and your scared it could one day happen to you. Just be careful of this guy, rolling out of a marriage and going in to another marriage seems a bit odd and wanting to setup his replacement family straight away.Hmmm wouldn't it be best to wait first? let his other children get use to the idea of not having daddy around and getting use to you before you get married and ride off in to the sunset with your new baby because they're feel soo rejected if you don't.I'm on saying wait forever just a year maybe so they know it's serious and then maybe his wife won't think of you as a rebound chick and stop thinking of them as still married, because people call off divorces all the time, it's not over til it's sign and sealed in her eyes

[dyno31225]

you guys are exactly right. i do feel like it may happen to me.... I have met his kids and we get along perfectly. They know that im daddy's girlfriend and always ask about me when im not there. his wife or soon to be ex wife doesn't like the idea that they run and hug me even like me. He did introduce me to his whole entire family and to his friends..... but i am waiting for the divorce to be final. like you said honeyb.... people do call of divorces last minute. funny thing is... she wasn't there at their preliminary hearing before the final one.... then today he went over there because he hadn't seen his kids for almost a week and he spent time with his kids for about half an hour at her home.... she was being nice and laughing with him.... which i though was kind of odd, knowing the fact how bitchy or demanding she is..... i would think that she would be bitter knowing the fact that her divorce date is coming up on april 8th... i mean wouldnt you? now my heart is pounding rapidly, afraid that she might want to reconcile and he's just going to run back to her.... i really do love him.... i really do.... and he said deep down that he loves me too. he actually told me that i was the one that he's been waiting for and asked me to marry him. he actually bought me a ring and proposed on christmas day in front of his family... does that mean he's true to his word that he loves me.... i dont know why all these questions are rushing through my head.... why do i have so many doubts.....

[dyno31225]

so... i finally talked to him about how i feel.... and he told me that im thinking too much and that he's never going to leave me and he really does love me...... hmmmmm.... i hope he's sincere about what he said....

[VincenzoG91]

Of course he said that. He also said some things on his wedding day, assuming he took the standard vows. At some point, you just need to arbitrarily decide if you can trust him.

[dyno31225]

well.... he only got married to her because she was pregnant. they never had a traditional wedding..... they just went to city hall. all his friends that are actually my friends said the only reason he did was she was pregnant and he felt embarrassed with her family. but he always wanted to leave her but only stayed with her because of his son.