What should I respond to this?

**lna** · 10-03-10, 03:11 AM

Me and my girlfriend are going thru a tough period.. Their parents found out she's not a virgin anymore and now they're strict with her and they barely let her out.. It reflects into her behaviour towards me, usually when she has problems and she's not happy she's not very sweet with me. Inspite of that i decided to do something for women's day.. I left flowers and a card with a phrase on in her class, on her school desk I didn't heard from her yesterday because she has no minutes on her phone and I couldn't call her.. today I picked her up at school bc it was raining.. she gave me a letter that says.

"Hey. Just wanted to say thank you for thinking about me today and getting those flowers. It was very thoughtful of you. Thank you. It was a nice feeling getting into class and finding those flowers addressed to me. I also wanted to apologize for my behaviour, because sometimes I'm mean.. no wait.. I want to apoligize bc often i have a bad behaviour towards you, that i act rude. Not being happy about urself often generates cruelty towards others. I'll try to put my pride aside, because for me is not easy being "sweet" but i'll try to., ok i gotta go, again, thanks for the flowers"

I know what she's going thru, i love her and i know her, so the fact that she's not being sweet with me in this spot i understand it.. What would you guys respond to this letter?

**Incognito** · 10-03-10, 04:04 AM

I've got a few questions. First, what and when is "women's day"? Second, you country says "USA", but you said "behaviour". This sticks out like a sore thumb to anyone who actually is from the USA. I also fail to see how her losing her virginity to you, relates to her being rude or cold towards you. I suppose those things don't matter too much in and of themselves, but I am curious. Anyway, on to business. You should respond to the letter in a positive manner if you actually care about her and want to continue to put up with her coldness. If you are fine dealing with her behavior then continue to do so. If not then you need to move on.

**girl68** · 10-03-10, 04:08 AM

Wait and see if she actually "tries". I got through pissy moments like these. My guy calls me on it. I'm usually the one to apologize becasue I'm usually the one who is wrong. However each time I try to make a concious effort not to be "super bitch" (as I like to call my self when I'm having a pissy moment). Sometimes super bitch prevails but there have been times I wanted to be super bitch but decided that the bitch should just die for the day. And almost every time I overcome super bitch we have a great time together. So it really is all in my favor. As it is in hers. She has a guy who wants to be there for her during tough times. So let her know you're there to talk to and vent to.

**lna** · 10-03-10, 04:10 AM

yeah good points.. lol well i'm from italy, my friend made me an account and put US instead of my actual country.. well it does relates to this situation bc her parents are friggin mad at her and won't let her out as before and stuff.. so she's kinda bummed and depressed because her parents are too strict and stuff.. yeah i'm 21 and i've never felt like this about a girl before, i'm really in love, i understand her i'm gonna respond on a positive manner as u said, i just love her to be herself.. i don't want her to change for me, although i appreciate it because it means she cares about me as well.

**lna** · 10-03-10, 04:12 AM

Originally Posted by girl68

Wait and see if she actually "tries". I got through pissy moments like these. My guy calls me on it. I'm usually the one to apologize becasue I'm usually the one who is wrong. However each time I try to make a concious effort not to be "super bitch" (as I like to call my self when I'm having a pissy moment). Sometimes super bitch prevails but there have been times I wanted to be super bitch but decided that the bitch should just die for the day. And almost every time I overcome super bitch we have a great time together. So it really is all in my favor. As it is in hers. She has a guy who wants to be there for her during tough times. So let her know you're there to talk to and vent to.

I totally agree.. they say actions speak louder than words, i do expect her to make u know.. an "effort".. i'm sure she will

**girl68** · 10-03-10, 04:23 AM

She has to know you're calling her on it though. If you just let it fly with I'm sorry AFTER it happens that means nothing has changed or is going to.

**Doc Durian** · 10-03-10, 04:24 AM

Originally Posted by lna

Me and my girlfriend are going thru a tough period.. Their parents found out she's not a virgin anymore and now they're strict with her and they barely let her out.. It reflects into her behaviour towards me, usually when she has problems and she's not happy she's not very sweet with me. Inspite of that i decided to do something for women's day.. I left flowers and a card with a phrase on in her class, on her school desk I didn't heard from her yesterday because she has no minutes on her phone and I couldn't call her.. today I picked her up at school bc it was raining.. she gave me a letter that says.

"Hey. Just wanted to say thank you for thinking about me today and getting those flowers. It was very thoughtful of you. Thank you. It was a nice feeling getting into class and finding those flowers addressed to me. I also wanted to apologize for my behaviour, because sometimes I'm mean.. no wait.. I want to apoligize bc often i have a bad behaviour towards you, that i act rude. Not being happy about urself often generates cruelty towards others. I'll try to put my pride aside, because for me is not easy being "sweet" but i'll try to., ok i gotta go, again, thanks for the flowers"

I know what she's going thru, i love her and i know her, so the fact that she's not being sweet with me in this spot i understand it.. What would you guys respond to this letter?

"soooo.. does that mean tonight is Man's Night?"

**lna** · 10-03-10, 04:35 AM

Originally Posted by Doc Durian

"soooo.. does that mean tonight is Man's Night?"

What's that supposed to mean

**lna** · 10-03-10, 04:37 AM

Originally Posted by girl68

She has to know you're calling her on it though. If you just let it fly with I'm sorry AFTER it happens that means nothing has changed or is going to.

I'm gonna tell her that i understand what she's going thru with her fam problems and i'm there for her.. that i understand her coldness, and that appreciate the fact that she'll try to be less cold with me even tho she's not doing well.. bc it means she does care about me.. watcha think

**Doc Durian** · 10-03-10, 04:39 AM

Originally Posted by lna

What's that supposed to mean

It was a joke. Sort of like saying... "so, are we getting frisky tonight?"

**lna** · 10-03-10, 04:42 AM

Originally Posted by Doc Durian

It was a joke. Sort of like saying... "so, are we getting frisky tonight?"

Mmm no man.. unfortunately not.. it's sort of a different thing here :/

**girl68** · 10-03-10, 04:48 AM

Originally Posted by lna

I'm gonna tell her that i understand what she's going thru with her fam problems and i'm there for her.. that i understand her coldness, and that appreciate the fact that she'll try to be less cold with me even tho she's not doing well.. bc it means she does care about me.. watcha think

the first part is good the second not so much. I usually get something along the lines of "Babe I really wish you could talk to me before things get out of hand and you blow up or you're cold and don't speak to me for a whole day. I would rather hear about your bad day then wonder what or if I've done anything wrong. I'm hear for you and I want you to be able to talk to me when something bothers you. It hurts when you go through problems by yourself in misery rather than coming to me to talk, cry, or vent."

Skip the part where you tell her she should becasue it means she cares.

**Doc Durian** · 10-03-10, 04:55 AM

Originally Posted by lna

Mmm no man.. unfortunately not.. it's sort of a different thing here :/

Italy?

All the Italian girls I've ever known were very quick to hop in the sack. There was a fair bit of postured mock resistance, though, to be fair. Most of it centred around the pretense that it was "love" when both parties knew it wasn't that deep but were more than happy to play their roles in the facade.

**lna** · 10-03-10, 04:56 AM

Originally Posted by girl68

the first part is good the second not so much. I usually get something along the lines of "Babe I really wish you could talk to me before things get out of hand and you blow up or you're cold and don't speak to me for a whole day. I would rather hear about your bad day then wonder what or if I've done anything wrong. I'm hear for you and I want you to be able to talk to me when something bothers you. It hurts when you go through problems by yourself in misery rather than coming to me to talk, cry, or vent."

Skip the part where you tell her she should becasue it means she cares.

This is the second thread i post on here, and you helped each times, thank you i really appreciate it! Yes i totally feel the same way, i know it's the way she reacts.. being silent and going through problems by herself, those problems bothers her but the fact that i have to wonder what she has and bother me too.. it really does.. because i really care about her, i love her and i will again talk to her about it. the one thing that concerns me is the fact that she actually apologized for her behavior.. i mean i dunno what to say about it

**lna** · 10-03-10, 04:57 AM

Originally Posted by Doc Durian

Italy?

All the Italian girls I've ever known were very quick to hop in the sack. There was a fair bit of postured mock resistance, though, to be fair. Most of it centred around the pretense that it was "love" when both parties knew it wasn't that deep but were more than happy to play their roles in the facade.

she's american tho lol she moved here like a couple of years ago

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