My guy shares a pet with his ex, is that ok?

[MLK]

I've been seeing a guy long distance for a year and a half. He's finally moving back in 3 weeks! Yay... however, his ex of 3 years lives here too, and she got custody of the dog when they broke up. He hasn't seen the dog in over a year, and I know upon his return he will want to see the dog/hang out with the dog, which in turn means hanging out with his ex, which just makes me ill.

My stance is that they should not be communicating, and that the dog is no longer his. For him to still have that "connection" with her, after they haven't seen each other for over a year, is not moving on with your life. It's holding on to the past and hindering the new relationship with me because I don't tolerate what he wants to do. Am I being selfish? Or is he not being understanding? Am I the ass for keeping the man from his dog? But is it his dog anymore?? HELP!

[Doc Durian]

It's just a pet.

Tell him to grow up if he insists.

[Cbrider]

It's just a pet.

Tell him to grow up if he insists.

Hell no! My dog would never be pushed aside for a woman like that, but then again I would have never given up my dog in the first place.

You're guy is a questionable man for ever giving up his dog in my book!

[Charlie Boy II]

If you were my girlfriend, and you were trying to ban me from seeing my own dog I would probably dump you.

Are you dim? Or have you just never owned a dog before? It's one of the two. A man's dog isn't just a "pet".

[Doc Durian]

I repeat my earlier advice. An animal is an animal. Fair enough to have affections for it, but an animal should never come in the way of a healthy relationship. Hanging on to an ex because of a dog is pathetic.

[MLK]

I'm far from dim thank you very much. I am very much an animal lover, but it's not his animal anymore! It's his ex's, and to try to rekindle the dog relationship is like trying to rekindle the relationship with his ex in my book. You can't walk away from a pet, a child, a relationship, whatever, and expect it to still be yours years later. That's the price you pay for leaving it in the first place. If you sell your house, you can't come back a year later and sleep in the bedroom. It's not yours anymore!

[doppelgaenger]

You sound quite like a dim broad, actually. In your original post you made it quite clear that your bf didn't give away the dog or sell it. If his ex got custody, they probably went to small claims over the matter or something. Yes, after a relationship has ended, children and pets still ****ing belong to him. Just because he doesn't have custody doesn't mean he shouldn't see them.

[Doc Durian]

Dopp... I like animals, don't get me wrong... but there is no comparing a pet to a child.

There is no "custody" dilemma for a pet.

They are not human, they are "pets".

[doppelgaenger]

so wtf is she talking about, custody of the pet? that's a legal term.

[Doc Durian]

I think it's being used loosely, Dopp.

He left, she kept the pet. He returned a year later but with a new girlfriend and now he wants to spend time with the pet (which requires spending time with his ex).

I'm sure the pet doesn't mind who it's with as long as it's being fed, patted, and such.

This fellow and his new girlfriend should get a pet of their own together and forget about his old pet.

[misombra]

are you afraid he's gonna have an affair with the dog?

[Doc Durian]

She just wants NC with his ex. Unless they have children together, the OP deserves to have a guy who NC's his ex.

[Charlie Boy II]

she sounds like a cold-hearted, self-centred bitch.

[vashti]

Ahh, charlieboy. It's rare that i disagree with you, but my vote goes to doc. He hasn't seen the dog in a whole year - that is the equivalent of 7 dog years! That's a long time for the dog.

MLK - are you sure he doesn't harbor some unresolved feelings for his ex? Maybe he is using the dog as an excuse to see her?

[Charlie Boy II]

noooo, a year's nothing. I loved my dog. Like, proper love. If I'd been away for a year, the first thing I'd do is rush over and see it.