No idea what to think... AGAIN

[Graham Berkeley]

So to boil it down I met a woman a few weeks ago online. We chatted for a couple of weeks then one evening I spontaneously invited her out for drinks. We hit it off FAST. Sparks flew and before I knew it she was bringing up the dorky topics I am passionate about but try to stay away from on first dates... Weird thing was she is drop dead gorgeous as well... Score?

After a bit to much to drink we wind up in-front of a fireplace at a nice restaurant just kinda gentle kissing and talking. We get back to her place and by that point were both pretty pass out drunk. She all of a sudden becomes emotional saying its been a long time since shes been out on a goodt date with a good "man" as she put it. Then began crying over something then calmed down and got frisky. I let her know I wasn't into that on a first date...(I liked this girl).. and we just kinda spent the night holding each other talking till morning. I felt a connection. Following afternoon we met , hung over as hell, for lunch and it was pretty comfortable. I paid and she was very womanly and sweet, holding onto my arm like a lady. We hung out at her place for a few hours and it was just... SOOO comfortable. She told me all about her family and folks. I told her about mine. She really wants to meet my sister.

Since then we've somehow fallen into this text each other once a day thing... Her texts are almost always the same "Hey sorry I didn't reply earlier. I was doing *blank* How are you?" To which I reply but usually don't get a reply back for a day or so. Called her last week and we talked for a while. She said she had to go babysit her sisters dog at her place about 20mils north of where we live but "Might be able to break way for a few this weekend" (lastweekend)... I haven't heard from her since a text last Thursday night. Called her tonight no answer...

Was I just an emotional tampon for her? Is this a game she is playing? Has she lost interest already? Am I suppose to be more aggressive? Whats the deal?

[Asip4u]

Some women get kinda scared if they think the guy is into them very early on, so they kinda back off for awhile. I'm not sure if this is the case but i definitely wouldn't recommend being more aggressive. Play it cool and if you don't hear soon, maybe send text or call to see what's up.

[Mish]

There could be too many explanations, so it's best to ignore what her issue was. Don't call her or text her anymore, wait for her to show initiative. If she doesn't then move on.

[lahnnabell]

Agreed. Too much chasing can be a huge turn off. I know you like her, but try to refrain. Hopefully you'll pique her interest by going and doing your own thing.

For the record, her crying makes me think she's still hurting over some past issue with an ex, or maybe she's rebounding.

[Graham Berkeley]

Yeah I think shes rebounding. I got through her initial "test" phase on the first date a little TOO fast.

How much chasing is to much chasing? I haven't seen her since two Fridays ago and have only tried to call her 3 times in the last week. I always reply to her texts as to not be impolite but I have no idea what is the appropriate amount of attention with this chick...

[Gigabitch]

So have you asked her out for next weekend? Call her up and pin her down for Saturday. Texting is a waste of your time.

[Graham Berkeley]

I called her Monday with no answer. I shoulda left a message but I just didn't... Actually kinda forgot you could do that haha. Should I just walk away or call her? If so when?

[Doc Durian]

Ask her out in the message. Propose something low key and upbeat like a trip to the zoo, amusement park, or museum.

[Graham Berkeley]

Why low key?

[Doc Durian]

If you propose something monumental and she's got some issues with dating you (despite possibly wanting to date you again), the big outing would possibly scare her off.

So be smooth... leave her a message on her voice mail and say for instance, "Greetings and salutations, X. It's Y here. I'm going to the Zoo this weekend and wondered if you'd like to join me. We can catch a bite to eat if you like. I'll be there at x:xx time. Hope to see you there"

[Graham Berkeley]

Edited out for content

[Midgey]

I Think his point was not to sound needy, as in, you're already going & she can tag along if she likes.....

I agree... call her & say there's XX movie on Saturday, wanna go see it & while we're there there this awesome cafe/bar to eat at before hand... etc

HTH, Good Luck.

[LailaK]

This is a toughy. On one hand she may like you a lot but be afraid to scare you off. In which case she's taking a non-aggressive stance and waiting for you to ask her out.

On the other hand if you've called and she's not answering, maybe she's brushing you off.

Doc's advice is pretty good. Ask her out one more time, put the ball firmly in her court, and you'll have your answer.

[Gigabitch]

I dunno about that approach. Thats pretty subversive. What if I just call her and ask her if shes free Saturday and say I wanna go to the zoo? Frankly your approach sounds kinda creepy...

Actually, I think asking her if she's free before you even suggest anything is the wrong take. There's a subtle difference between your approach and Doc's, not a major one, but his is better. You should tell her, not ask her.

[Graham Berkeley]

I see what your saying Giga. I'm not really expecting one but I'm not really heart broken either. When the "system" has decided its the right time I don't think it will matter what I do or say. At least thats how it was before.