the end

[love2010]

i have been on here the last month and a half posting about my sour breakup and my troubles of trying to get over it, well i cant sit here and write every detail again, but i can barely put my feelings in words of what i feel this sec as i write this. i don't know how to feel anymore angry or just cry nonstop which i have done both. i have never been so hurt in my life so betrayed and lied to behind my back and to my face. to be with someone for eight years and give up and sacrifice so much just to give the other person your heart and all the love and honesty they can ever ask for and still not be enough to have them stay through the rough times and give up on everything you have ever worked for is the most confusing concept i have ever experienced in my entire life! i keep finding out more and more lies even after my fiance left me two months into our engagement and three months after getting a brand new house. she left me that's it she has her reasons and we both made some mistakes and things could have been better but they weren't it is what it is you cant change the past right? its to late i get it. i have very confusing mixed emotions as i go through my days and i blame myself then i hate her then i cry then i drink. i feel so lonely i don't have much family and friends to comfort me, but every day passes. sorry i am not giving much detail and my thread is sort of vague i just wanted to write if anyone reads my other forums you will know me ill write more some other time

[1337lizard]

That's hard man, really hard. I went through a pretty nasty breakup not long ago and I'm still dealing with the backlash. I know this may seem like it's not your thing, but try mediation. I went and found some online mediation exercises that helped me a lot. Helped a lot more than drinking at least. If you're anything like me you probably stay awake every night with a knot in your stomach. Give meditation a shot. I was able to sleep after trying it a few times and I've moved on so much more rapidly than if I had never tried it.

That's the best advice I can give. You need to find a new purpose in life because you just lost one. I'm recommending meditation because it helped me refocus my reasons for living. Send me a message if you want some help or guidance with meditation if you're interested. I know it's a little strange and it seems a little abnormal at first, but once you try it you stop thinking of it that way.

[sienn]

you didn't give details so i'm not sure why your relationship came to a stop. there is a saying "without fire, there is no smoke". there must be a cause somewhere to create the effect (fiance calling it off, etc).

[love2010]

like i said my other most explain more but i ll share a little more. this girl is my first love and i know everything that can be told oh its just puppy love shes just your first there's plenty of fish in the sea there's always more you ll move on it happens to everyone and everybody feels and says the same thing at first trust me!!! i have heard it all even nonstop encouragement to go out and pickup girls and sleep with anybody i can WELL that's not me at least not right now and i have never done that maybe i am scared because i have no experience but whats wrong with fighting for what you have if you truly believe it's meant to be even though the problems you have had have should have been hints. well i didn't think my relationship was so bad. Here is my side: i was negative and complained about my work and social life all the time i know people don't like to be with some one like that i know that trust me i tried to better myself for years countless times but i guess i got to comfortable, i never thought she would leave me. we were incredibly close 8 years gave us time to get to know each other and our families a lot. we went on trips lived together for 5 years before we even got a new house and got engaged we took our time to start a family and i thought we were finally ready then bam she gets everything shes always wanted then runs away. our only issue was money always stressing about money and bills so in turn it turned us both against each other and into different people, but i tried not to let it get to me and showed her love and compassion everyday and always told her i loved her and everything would be okay. i am a very honest down to earth guy with a good head on my shoulder and come from a good family and also a great friend. i might have not been able to give her the relief form the stress because i would jump jobs a lot but i tried to be a good supporter, but life just kept kicking me down. now i realize she was the one that got me into all my debt and the life that we have, honestly i could have done with less but i wanted to give her what she wanted so like an idiot i put my life on hold and my hobby and friends to try to make her happy and i guess that wasn't enough obviously.the point is that she has not been happy for a very long time and never told me i knew we weren't doing good but wow this bad to leave me i just cant believe it. she hid her feelings bottling them up like a ticking bomb. i even tried multiple times to sit down and come up with plans to better our situation like: cutting our bills,downgrading, exercising,going out more,but nothing helped i don't know i guess she didn't want to try anymore.again i know every one will say the same thing,but i truly believe i still love her we had to much to let it go it wasn't all bad why cant she see things were not that bad and the world is bigger then her and to be happy that she has someone that loves her and respects her and that is honesty and faithful and very genuine. trust me i was not a wimp, but towards her i was a very good man i took care of her there's nothing else i could have done to show her my love and commitment i wanted the best for us and i thought i was doing it. i see now that she is selfish,coward,liar,stubborn,materialistic.i found out shes seeing someone or trying to i found reciepts and she slept in my house on our old mattress in the house that is empty which we are selling. i saw a guys name on the invoices and it proves she stayed there with him there's a few more details that prove it but i just cant talk about it right now it hurts to much. i never ever thought my baby would lie to me this bad, but when someone is unhappy WOW!!! it can really make you change i am having a lot of trouble facing that, that's some more details ill come with more later thx

[cmacattack1]

When you find out they are with somebody else, especially when it seems too soon for you, it's just going to twist the knife. Of course she is going to find somebody else because she is going through this too and most likely needs somebody there. Maybe she won't find what she is looking for with somebody else and change her mind. Maybe she is too far gone to want to be with you for good. Either way, there shouldn't be any hope or waiting around on your part.

Take as much time as you need to. You do have it within your power to help you get past this as quickly as you can. Looking at the invoices and all that probably doesn't help, and should be avoided if possible.

[lahnnabell]

Going out and experiencing new things is the best way to get your mind off of a break-up or ex. You don't have to go out and spend money, or go drinking. Take up a new hobby, or get back into one that you've been lax on. Make new friends.

After my ex and I broke up last year, I wallowed for a week or two and then told myself to snap out of it. I threw myself out the door and went dancing with my friends. I wanted to have a good time and I refused to remain mopey over a guy who clearly didn't deserve me anyway. Was I still hurting? Hell yes. I dated other guys, but was up front about my rebound situation and my desire to keep things casual. Do I still think about my ex? Of course, but in a very different way. I use what was wrong in our relationship as a clear example of what I will not put up with. Now is the time in which you will learn a lot about yourself. Dive in head first.