11 years difference.

[nanathespas]

I like a guy who is 11 years older than me. I am 23 this year and he is 34. This is not a typical case of "little girl liking an older guy". We are both working at the same place and that is how we met. I am very attracted to him because firstly, he is older than me and secondly, he is very charismatic. Lastly, I like him because he is very passionate about a sport that he does. I have always admire people who have a passion.

Some of my friends said guys are turned off by such young girls whereas some friends said age is just a number. Well, I am kinda stuck and I would like to know what men think.

[sookie6]

I am a woman and from what I've seen men like to date younger, and 10 years younger is very common.

Guy in their thirties like to date much younger girls as they don't have to deal with a walking biological clock. So this age gap defeintely works for you.

If you were 17 to 20 I would be worried that you would still need time to do wome growing up with people your age. But are a fully grown woman yourself so I can't see any problem with this...

Don't be too impressed with his charisma though. You need stand your ground as a mature woman would do..if you succeed in dating him do not be the little girl in the relationship...

[nanathespas]

Thank you. Your comment made me feel hopeful in fighting for what I want.

[asdfg789]

I think it is not a problem if you are on the same wavelength, have some similar interests etc. If he is attracted to you for what you are, the 11 years' difference should not be a problem between you two. However, amongst your family and friends, there will be those who think the gap is too big and you need to be ready to take some "heat".

Perhaps you want to take some time to know him as a friend before jumping further ...

[DonkeyKong]

Listen to the ones telling you "Age ain't nothin' but a number."

Unless one of those numbers is less than 18. Then it's a prison sentence.

[erik]

I've heard it said that within the confines of 15 years, its a go

[oneandonly]

I've heard it said that within the confines of 15 years, its a go

I'm intrigued to find out what draws that conclusion.

And OP, don't get hung up on the fact that he is charismatic. What's important is he cares about you and makes you feel loved and cared for. Being charismatic is not a must have in a loving relationship in my opinion.

[Gigabitch]

23 ti 34 isn't such a big deal. Most guys don't really grow up until their mid-30's anyway, so you're just skipping a whole lot of bullshit. Don't let him talk down to you, though. Guys not only like young girls because of their young bodies but also because it makes them feel like Big Daddy to them. Eeew.

[nanathespas]

Hi all,

just when I thought things were getting better, it didn't. =( Please help me to analyse cos I am clueless.

On Monday, he asked me to attend a meeting with him and I did. After the meeting, he suggested having a cup of coffee and I agreed. We spent about 1 hour chatting and it was really cool. The next few days, we exchanged glances and smiles at work.

On Thursday, he knew that I was going to point A and offered to give me a lift. I thought nothing of it cos firstly, it was raining and secondly, he was heading towards point B and would be passing by point A. Nevertheless, I thought it was really nice of him to ask.

On Friday, we were talking about work and I casually wished him all the best for a dragonboat competition which he was having on Saturday. He invited me to go and watch the race provided I am free. Well, I did go down to support him but the thing is, when I reached the competition site, I dropped him a text to tell him I was there. He replied me this:

"I am going for the race soon. Where are you? I am at the shed."

I don't know if I was stupid or what. I replied him this " I am somewhere near the starting line. All the best! Looking forward to your race."

After a few hours later, I called him and he told me he left already. I was very upset and I don't know why. Is it normal for me to feel this way or am I overreacting? I feel so upset because he didn't even inform me that he was leaving. Well, he could be rushing to another place but still, he could have at least drop me a text to inform me right? Sigh. It could also be my fault. When he told me that he was at the shed, I should have gone over to look for him but I didn't. =(

I really don't know how to analyse this. Someone please help?

[sookie6]

Don't over-analyse, there is no point really.

You didn't do anything wrong. Not at all. The fact you were there shows your interest and your support.

Now, he might have been with people he didn't want you to come across or vice versa.

At this point there are still so many things you don't know about this man that the only 'mistake' you are making is to grow attached already.

I won't blame you for this as this the nature of women to get involved whol-heartedly with a man they like.

Anyway, play it cool from now but maintain a friendly level of interest. I'd say the ball is in his court.

Be really enthusiastic about the race next time you see him and mention nothing of his leaving without telling you. You would come across as needy and clingy...be very cool about it, he is not your boyfriend and given your age you need to show you are mature about things (I am not saying you are not but the age gap might worry him you never know).

I guess you are on a learning curve about this man. Who is he and what does he want?

Does he like his space and independence?

Or does he want someone who will be there supporting him in all circumstances?

You need to work out who he is...guys in their 20s are very laid back but in their thirties they are pretty much like us women...they want a stable relationship with someone who will take care of them and mother them a bit...someone who supports them...


So observe and report honey!

[nanathespas]

Does he like his space and independence?

Hi Sookie6,

Yes he is a very independent person. He loves his own space. Hmm, I am not sure if these have got to do with his leaving off..

[valhensing]

you need to work out who he is...guys in their 20s are very laid back but in their thirties they are pretty much like us women...they want a stable relationship with someone who will take care of them and mother them a bit...someone who supports them...

=> lol lol :d

[vashti]

This is not a typical case of "little girl liking an older guy". We are both working at the same place and that is how we met. I am very attracted to him because firstly, he is older than me and secondly, he is very charismatic. Lastly, I like him because he is very passionate about a sport that he does. I have always admire people who have a passion.

Sounds pretty typical to me....

[Indignant]

ughm, you main issue should be the fact that you work together and not the age difference. don't obsess over nothing.

[TAVS]

Lord knows why, but I was reading this yesterday. Maybe it will help you

[url=http://www.yourtango.com/200936347/25-year-age-difference-can-it-work]25-Year Age Difference: Can It Work?[/url]

^ I believe this is an exception to the rule personally