What do I do if my brother forbids me to talk to a guy?

[Tuffytuff]

My brother knows that his friend likes me since the guy told him and now he's telling him not to talk to me. I tell me brother that I won't let him be my boyfriend but can't I at least talk to him? Today he talked to me about our height but only after a few words by brother shut him up saying to not try something and saying "you know why" to him about 3 times. Now the friend doesn't know that I already know he likes me. Even my mom says that there's no harm in just talking to him but my brother keeps saying he doesn't care and forbids me to talk to him and vice versa. My brother is only 1 year older than me and since the only class his friend and I have together also has my brother, it makes it impossible to ever have a chance for him to talk to me again. That was the only time he talked to me and now he won't ever speak to me. But knowing his personality he would probably talk to me anyway. I don't know what else to do, I can't do anything and neither can my mom since she's not there. I'm not the first person to make a move and I don't really talk to people much so it would be awkward for me to go up to him since we don't really know each other and he's also very popular in the class. How do I convince my brother to let his friend talk to me freely without him getting in the way? My brother knows I'm not stupid and can stand my ground without being swayed. I know he cares but I'm old enough to make simple decisions like talking to a guy. I don't want him to control who I can talk to and not talk to. He says I can talk to any of his friends and guys other than the friend who likes me. I don't know what else to do since even my mom's words can't convince him and no matter what I say or do he won't listen to me. No one already talks to me because of my quietness and now the guy who does want to talk to me can't because my brother says so. Please help me! I'm in high school and don't really have much experience with talking to guys who like me since it's very rare. I just want help to convince my brother

[QueenofCorona]

Hmm...maybe he knows something about this guy thats not good? Have you asked him about his exact reasoning?

Can you shoot the guy a FB message if you really want to talk to him?

[vashti]

Whatever your brother is saying, he says because he cares about you. I think you should trust his judgement on this.

[LailaK]

How old are you? Tell your brother to f**k off.

[Indignant]

I agree with the older/smarter women. your brother KNOWS his friends like no other and he is only trying to protect you. you'll have tons of guys wanting to talk to you. don't become disheartened because of this.

[Tuffytuff]

I know that and I'm not disheartened I'm mostly mad because he always tells me what to do and says its only ok for him because he's a guy and is 1 year older. So just because he doesn't like it I can't even say a word to the guy, what if I just want to be friends with him like my brother and many other girls are with him. I tell him this but still forbids me and not caring for what I think. My mom and dad both agree that he's overreacting and they know the friend and they know how I am so they have no problem with me just talking. If he had more control he would forbid me to talk to any guy that was a bit interested in me. He knows that I'm not easily fooled and knows that I'm smart and cautious about the people I befriend.

[Mish]

I don't want him to control who I can talk to and not talk to. He says I can talk to any of his friends and guys other than the friend who likes me.

I don't think your brother is controlling of who you can or can't talk to as he said he's okay with you talking to anyone besides this one person due to an unexplained reason, a person who happens to be his friend and someone he knows intimately. That unexplained reason may be something which is not your business to know. By crying that you are being controlled I believe that you are purposefully trying to make it part of a bigger issue than it actually is.

[girl68]

You do know the reason you want to talk to him so bad? It's the same reason the friend wants to talk to you so bad. Because you've been told not to. It's forbidden therefore about a thousand times more appealing if your brother said "sure, go for it- talk away!"

Your brother must know something you don't know. Now why do you insist that you just MUST talk to this guy. You already know he's no good...

[Tuffytuff]

Thank you, finally someone agrees with me although I don't like to cuss but I feel like saying that to him! Everyone says to listen to your brother but they don't know his dominating personality towards me and I know he cares but I'm old enough I'm not 5 anymore and I don't think TALKING to a guy is such a horrible thing I mean he's even friends with him.

[girl68]

Sorry, but I don't agree with you. I'm on your brothers side. I was JUST in your bro's position. I didn't want my friend talking to my brother. Though I didn't "forbid" it, I was pissed.

[vashti]

Thank you, finally someone agrees with me although I don't like to cuss but I feel like saying that to him! Everyone says to listen to your brother but they don't know his dominating personality towards me and I know he cares but I'm old enough I'm not 5 anymore and I don't think TALKING to a guy is such a horrible thing I mean he's even friends with him.

How old are you? Because you sound pretty young. I doubt your brother is worried about you TALKING to this boy, and I am pretty sure he knows that this boy wouldn't be interested in just TALKING to you.

Do you have some valid reason to believe your brother has malicious intent? is there some motive that would make him not want what is good for you?

For the record, i have two teenagers. I never approve of a boy hanging around my girl until her older brother tells me the kid is a good one. Your parents don't know this boy the way your brother does.

[Tuffytuff]

My brother has only known this guy for a few months and no they don't know each other intimately because they only have one class together and my brother always tells me everything about him and their discussions. And when I say controlling I mean him telling me what to do when to do it without question and no matter how much he says he wants me to die I should just listen to him. But if I said that he could care less. So I'm angry that he won't let me say a word to one guy that just wants to start a conversation with me. I hardly ever talk to anyone because everyone is always intimidated by my serious face so when someone does talk to me I'm gladly willing to reply. My brother knows how isolated and reserved I am towards people and nags me on how I should stop being cold to people and to stop being a loner. So when I do talk to someone he tries to shut me up. The only reason he doesn't want me talking to the guy is because he knows he likes me so he doesn't want me to talk at all to him (He would act that way to any guy who liked me but so far he's the only one who likes me). But if I were to say that to him he'd cuss me out and ignore my insight. So that's what I mean by controlling and yes it is a bigger issue than it actually is, I'm just saying I want to be able to talk to whoever I want since I'm old enough to make my own decisions and he knows I'm more mature for my age than my peers. He's just selfishly acting on how he feels and not considering of what I may think or feel on this matter, as he usually does so I'm not suprised.

[girl68]

I will not be surprised when the friend makes a move on you, your brother punches him in the face and he says: "I told you so".

[vashti]

I'm more mature for my age than my peers. .

I wish I had a quarter for every kid who says this. (rolling eyes)

Listen, little girl. You may well be mature in one area, and completely clueless in another. In fact, that would be my best guess at this point.

[Tuffytuff]

I understand where you and my brother are coming from but I'm not mad at that part. I'm mad that he interrupts him and me from talking and it embarresses me since he makes it obvious and loud that he doesn't want him talking to me. At least you let him talk to the person and you don't get too involved in who he meets with. You let him make his own decisions. Even if it's good or bad some people have to live and learn to grow up and to not make the same mistakes twice but all I'm doing is just TALKING to a guy. My brother makes it seem like I'm going to marry this person. Just keep doing what your doing and he'll be fine.