Finally figured out my feelings... so why do I feel so guilty about them? :(

[SecretlySad]

My partner of 7 years and I were friends for about a year before we started dating. In hindsight I don't ever think it should have become a relationship, but it did, and he is still crazy about me. Unfortunately I don't feel the same anymore.

I have recently finally acknowleged after what seems like a lifetime of trying to work out WHY I feel the things I do, that I just simply am not in love with him. Feelings change, people change. I am one of those people. It's nothing he has done. The connection I once felt is just not there anymore. I think I have outgrown him and I have NO idea how to explain that to him without having it sound like a total cop-out.

Maybe it's because I was just 21 when we started dating and now I am 28 (he is nearly 20 years older) - I have changed so much as a person as all people do.

I want to know if anyone else has gone through this kind of break up though?? The kind where the person isn't rude or abusive or cruel or nasty or anything like that, it's just... over. Please share your stories with me.

I still tell him I love him daily, because I really do love him as a person. I don't want him to think I used him. I have tried to tell myself just be honest, how he takes it is up to him, but it's so hard.

[ctom18]

You aren't doing him ANY favors by prolonging a realtionship you are not into. Breaking up with him is the "nice" thing to do.

It doesn't really matter if he completely understands why you're breaking up with him. Just tell him you aren't happy with the relationship, and you think you would be happier without him/ with someone else. Add whatever details you feel are necessary, but don't over-explain (There isn't even really much more to be said).

That is definately going to sting and hurt him. But once again, you aren't doing him any favors if you stay with him just because you don't want to hurt his feelings. It's only going to end up hurting him more in the long run if you stay with him.