How to become more confident?

[MikeL]

haha I spend most of my weekends working on a electronics project or head out to NYC with my friend to shoot some pictures

[the_robot]

haha I spend most of my weekends working on a electronics project or head out to NYC with my friend to shoot some pictures

That's a lo better than what I do... being alone at home playing videogames I'm bored with is not cool at all, and lately I've not been inspired for my projects.

Tonight I've been able to erase the bad feelings out of my mind and forget myself for some stuff, at least I have less worries in mind depressing me.

[AdminOnline]

One way to get confidence: fake it until you make it. Act confident, even when you aren't feeling it, and people will perceive you as confident. Eventually you will really feel that confidence because everybody has come to expect it from you.

this is a good one... thumb up!

[vashti]

I don't think your weight sounds like an issue, unless you are very small-framed. Most girls don't like toothpick-skinny boys.

I think the way to build confidence is to set some attainable goals, and work towards them. Make a list. Self esteem is earned, not handed over.

[the_robot]

I don't think your weight sounds like an issue, unless you are very small-framed. Most girls don't like toothpick-skinny boys.

I think the way to build confidence is to set some attainable goals, and work towards them. Make a list. Self esteem is earned, not handed over.

Hmm.. no, not small-framed, but I'm still going to loose the fat and get my muscles a bit more.. evident.

I did a mental list last night when meditating, I hope I can get it all done... although one of the goals doesn't seem very "attainable".

[vashti]

Hmm.. no, not small-framed, but I'm still going to loose the fat and get my muscles a bit more.. evident.

I did a mental list last night when meditating, I hope I can get it all done... although one of the goals doesn't seem very "attainable".

Take the larger goals and break them down into smaller, attainable pieces.

[the_robot]

Take the larger goals and break them down into smaller, attainable pieces.

The hard goal is getting a gf... the rest of the goals need to work first for that to ever be possible.

[Mandd]

Dude im 5"8 and weight 158 lbs... I workout like 1h15-30 / day and play rugby and hockey... Btw sorry for the ideas, its all over the place

First okay I can totally relate to you, even if im 16. first I was always overweight since im ... 8 and my mom made me do a diet but i never relaly followed it. Then at the age of 9 i started to be and addict to video game, then computer. In grade 7 I started to be a world of warcraft addict till beginning of grade 9. A real addict: I was playing about 6 hours / day after school maybe more. I was eating maybe like 10 bags of chips a week... though there is one thing I've always loved and that was hockey. I would stop playing that game to watch it. This is when in grade 8 I asked my mom if I could play hockey because I was pertty decent in ball hockey. Then I started to play with a team and that just allowed me to communicate and developped social skills... Furthermore, it gave me stuff to talk about with other people.

Oh ya I also play piano which allows me to go out each saturday and meet people. Its a + for yourself, I mean if you can improvise jazz, blues or even play classical master piece such as mozard, beethoven; some people love those. Learn guitar, its pretty cool

The point is to find something you love. To be honest, I'm a geek even today. In fact, I love playing my xbox but I still have other hobbies. You can't say you don't like something until you tried it.

As for your friend, my bestfriend since grade 5 just recently told me that he will start to (insert f word) my life from now on. He is always moody and weird; this happens each year but this year I decided to give up and look somewhere else. Find 1 good friend and you'll prolly meet his friend, etc... etc...

To be honest there is no magical solution. And im talking about myself too. You know I have a date tomorrow (my frist of my life) and I just don't know what to do and asked my gril friend and i kept saying " its too hard" or " nah i can't because..." . Christ I have confidence problem as well but I still go out. I had a concert in front of 1000 people, I was litteraly shitting in my pants. To me it seems your just scared to be judge? I don't know thats what my acting teacher told me and this happens to a lot of people. I guess you just have to get over the scare of rediculizing yourself. I would say one way to do that is to start acting ( don't become a hollywood star , but still)

Btw where I work out they all bench like 200 and + and I lift what ... 35 or 40 lbs ( I never know the unit for those...) dumbell and I look like a girl compare to them but I still do it. It even allows me to reflect on my own life ( treadmill + working out). Don't ask for magic solution because THERE AREN'T ANY. Do your part or keep complaining

[vashti]

The hard goal is getting a gf... the rest of the goals need to work first for that to ever be possible.

That's not what I meant by goal setting. i meant things for self improvement. When you like yourself because you have invested energy into self development, the girls will follow.

[MVPlaya]

Find things you're good at. Success breeds confidence.

Practice not being intimidated, find your talents, work on improving yourself.

[the_robot]

Then I started to play with a team and that just allowed me to communicate and developped social skills... Furthermore, it gave me stuff to talk about with other people.
setting

Oh ya I also play piano which allows me to go out each saturday and meet people. Its a + for yourself, I mean if you can improvise jazz, blues or even play classical master piece such as mozard, beethoven; some people love those. Learn guitar, its pretty cool

As for your friend, my bestfriend since grade 5 just recently told me that he will start to (insert f word) my life from now on. He is always moody and weird; this happens each year but this year I decided to give up and look somewhere else. Find 1 good friend and you'll prolly meet his friend, etc... etc...

To be honest there is no magical solution. And im talking about myself too. You know I have a date tomorrow (my frist of my life) and I just don't know what to do and asked my gril friend and i kept saying " its too hard" or " nah i can't because..." . Christ I have confidence problem as well but I still go out. I had a concert in front of 1000 people, I was litteraly shitting in my pants. To me it seems your just scared to be judge? I don't know thats what my acting teacher told me and this happens to a lot of people. I guess you just have to get over the scare of rediculizing yourself. I would say one way to do that is to start acting ( don't become a hollywood star , but still)

I've been in a swimming team since 5 to 12, hockey team since age 11 to 16 and a few others before.. I dropped the last one because I was sick of the morons in the team and I was about to fight every and each of them... besides, I'm not into sports, they are boring imo, I'm ok with workout, but sports... nah...

And music is really not for me, I have no musicals skills or rhythm sense whatsoever. I am a robot.

I was thinking of asking one of my friends to go out with him this weekend, but he was busy.. he'd have if I had asked him, but I didn't want to get his plans screwed ...

Good luck with your date . I'm going to have a couple of speeches in public soon, I'm scared as shit just to think of it...

That's not what I meant by goal setting. i meant things for self improvement. When you like yourself because you have invested energy into self development, the girls will follow.

Well, I do have some things to improve, like my workout,school, and work. But I also thought of trying to talk to some girl some day... just to get practice.

Practice not being intimidated, find your talents, work on improving yourself.

Haha I think my best talents are videogames and university projects.. I don't think I can improve my grades in the projects (honor mentions) but I will make them as good as I intend at first.

Also, yesterday I had a "revelation" I suddenly realized that I'm a great guy. It's not like people don't like me, it's me who doesn't like them (or me), so I shouldn't have so many confidence problems...

[sookie6]

I agreed with all posters with emphasis on:

-fake it and you'll soon make it

- setting achievables goals that will get you where you want slowly but surely

- hanging out with the right people. Very important one.
Lately I have not ditched but put some distance between a particular friend and myself due to her undermining my feelings, aspirations, projetcs.
She means well but basically wants me to comply to her vision of life and does not accept our differences.
How refreshing has it been to not always have to fight my way. I want to be with people who are supportive of me, honest yes but not constantly negative like this person has been.

You want to be with people who make the best come out of you. Some people make you shine just by being with them. Their optimism, positive energy and tolerance are a boost.

It might be that you need to hang around in different places with a different crowd. Say if you take part in a community project you're more likely to meet people who are true givers rather than being with people who are just interested in being wasted.

If you join an outdoor activity you're more likely to meet people who are extravert, wholesome and inspiring.

Try to broaden your horizons. My experience has also proven than you'll be better off by yourself than with the wrong people. So do not hang out with the wrong people just because you feel lonely.

Also you need to look out for people that you might feel you have nothing in common (background, age, personality) and find out that these people can bring you more than the usual crowd.

[the_robot]

I want to be with people who are supportive of me, honest yes but not constantly negative like this person has been.

You want to be with people who make the best come out of you. Some people make you shine just by being with them. Their optimism, positive energy and tolerance are a boost.

Also you need to look out for people that you might feel you have nothing in common (background, age, personality) and find out that these people can bring you more than the usual crowd.

That reminds me of my 2 best friends in higshchool.. I might still contact them to hang around some day, even if it's for just catching up.. Other than that, I really don't know how to meet people outside bars and such, I don't know of any "community projects" around here.. :-/

[sookie6]

Why don't you make it your first achievable goal...to look for new places where to meet new people?

One postivie achievable goal would be to make a new friend before the end of the summer. Surely that's possible.

[the_robot]

Why don't you make it your first achievable goal...to look for new places where to meet new people?

One postivie achievable goal would be to make a new friend before the end of the summer. Surely that's possible.

Good idea, that's something I didn't think of... I'll have to break it down though.