Me and the Brother of my Ex-boyfriend talk a lot --- Is this okay or I should stop?

[drewpee]

I had a boyfriend for 2 years and 10 months... We finally broke-up last November 2009, I found out that he fooled me for so long... he has been married for a year when we met and he did not tell me that because he said he was afraid to lose me.....I just found it in September of 2009. It was hard to break up with him because I love him so much then... it seems that he's everything to me...Thank God I had the courage to face the reality that he is not mine.

About a week ago, I received a message through yahoo messenger from his younger brother.....This is my first time to really talk to him since he stayed outside the country most of the time due of the nature of his work... I just saw his account before in friendster but my boyfriend then ( his brother ) told me not to communicate with him.

I asked the younger brother why did he not tell me that his brother is married. He said. he did not know I had a relationship with his brother...If he did, he said.. he should have warned me...I don't know if I have to believe this....

to make it short...we've been talking for a week now...but we have not seen each other personally yet. He's inviting me go with him in their province this holy week but I refused.
I told him not to tell his brother that we are talking and not to give my number to him...I actually changed, my number just to make sure my ex boyfriend will not be able to contact me anymore....because I know that as long as he knows my number he will always find ways to see me... my ex-bf does not know where I worked now. But the younger brother knows it...
Also, I have seen a family picture of my ex-bf with his wife and daughter... I don't feel any pain.... I felt glad that I made the right decision to leave him....

I enjoy talking to the younger brother...I think he too enjoys talking to me.... he sometimes teases me about his brother, he makes me listen to some songs which are related to the kind of relationship I had with his brother... But he always says "past is past" and it must be left behind.

I just want to know the point of view of some guys here...

First, I am wondering why the younger brother is talking to me a lot since he came home....Is he just sorry about what his brother did to me? Is it okay for me to ask him that?

Second, Is right to continue to entertain him knowing that he is the brother of my ex-boyfriend..? I am worried about the reaction of ex-bf just in case he'll find out about it.


I'll appreciate any advice which you will give me guys.......I already made several mistakes in the past and I hope I would be less stupid this time...

[vashti]

I think dating the brother of a guy you dated for so long would be a monumental mistake. The potential for disaster is absurdly high. There are lots of other men in the world - why don't you find one without such baggage?

[TAVS]

To put it simply, I agree with Vashti despite the fact she hasnt said hello to me yet

Edit: I stand corrected now that I have found Vashti's greeting

[cmacattack1]

I find it kind of interesting that he would do this. He friended you, started talking to you, but has NO idea you dated his brother for over two years? Something doesn't add up right.

You only talked for a week, the younger brother has your number and is inviting you out for vacation to hang with him? Doesn't that seem to be moving a little fast for you for that matter?

Proceed with caution.

[vashti]

To put it simply, I agree with Vashti despite the fact she hasnt said hello to me yet

Edit: I stand corrected now that I have found Vashti's greeting

Well? Did you respond?

[Mish]

I agree with all of the above. There is an unspoken rule of not double dipping into the same gene pool.

[drewpee]

@vashti & TAVS ...
I don't know maybe something is wrong with me..But I like what you said:

Why don't you find one without such baggage?

It really struck me.

@ cmacattack1
As I said he's always been out of the country and as he does not mind (maybe) about his brother's whereabouts - aside from the fact that I turned out to be the "other woman" of his brother without me knowing it. ( Aw that really hurt me ) For sure his brother did not tell much about me or maybe never said anything about me...

Last night I decided not to talk to him.. so I slept early and did not bother to txt or to leave him any message. However, this morning he txted me and I replied again.
He's on this way to their province for a week vacation..he promised to call me while he is there..

the younger brother has your number and is inviting you out for vacation to hang with him? Doesn't that seem to be moving a little fast for you for that matter?

It was a friendly invitation...I don't know if I am just being naive or stupid
I feel he wants to befriend me. It would be nice, If his brother and I hadn't had a relationship.

There is an unspoken rule of not double dipping into the same gene pool.

This made me laugh, but after a moment.... it made me think why it shouldn't be? Is it because it is unethical? or is it because both of them maybe cheaters?


Thanks guys for all you words.. I really appreciate it....

[vashti]

If your ex's wife finds out about you, it would result in instability and grief in the life of a child. Just move on.

[keen_insight_69]

Your oppening up a whole nother can of worms. Look your in rebound mode, this younger brother guy is taking advantage. What you need is a clean start. As long as your dating your ex's brother you gonna have to deal with all the drama and crap that comes along with it. Unless these two guys are the only men within a 300 mile radius, i suggest you get out there and meet some new people. Much luck..