Too long..

[fallenone]

When i first met my SO, he was a gentleman. He was everything on the outside that I wanted in a man. Inside did I later learn, was fake, and a lie.
Everything about him is abusive, with the exception of physical, but hes only put his hands on me in ways of pushing or grabbing me 3 times.
It breaks my heart that I sit here, after only speaking to him less than 15 minutes ago, when he said he was going to invite someone, and i wasnt sure who he was talking about then he got hateful and said, my uncles son, good grief.. As though i was suppose to know who he was talking about since we never have any conversations where those names are brought up. Things like that.
I feel he has deep rooted issues inside him that makes him hard to know or be around. There is so much chaos in our lives and how we came to be, and who we are, that i feel its too much to give up right now, and im almost willing to stay through the anger and screaming just to be with him. Sad as it is really, I know he doesnt care enough about me to seek any sort of help, his own parents have pleaded with him to seek help but instead of staying on him, they keep their distance and almost baby him just so they dont have to endure it.
He gets angry at everything, the slightest inclination that he may be subject to any sort of humiliations whether anyone else thinks so or not, there is hell to pay. He screams, he throws things, breaks things, and almost always packs his things, gets to the porch and then starts pointing his finger at me and blaming me, and telling me I have the problem. He has completely turned everything that he has done to me, and blames me for his behavior.
He will bring up things like, I helped YOU when you needed it, or I gave up everything I had to be with you, when in fact, all he "gave up" was a wife that he was leaving anyway. He has two small children, but almost always they are subject to fierce ridiculing because they are boys and boys should be men! His oldest already shows signs of being just like him, with moods from extreme happy, to extreme pissed off and noone can talk to him or touch him. its sad really because the youngest one is a emotional mess. I have two children of my own, they dont exhibit any of these characteristics and are both always happy and calm, and just all around good kids. I say this because it has been thrown in my face that my kids were just like "me" and i was a horrible mother and person, i treated people terrible, that i hated his children and didnt want them around, that i resented them and him, that i have a serious problem with myself and with others. All these things noone in the 30 years ive walked this earth, has ever told me. I have no enemies and only a handful of close friends that even then im a huge home body. Anything that he can throw at me, he does.
Now you may ask, what advice do i need.. How do i cope with his and make my marriage last?? How do i look at the man i married and get him to understand that he has broken my heart and killed the love i have for him because he is so selfish and disrespectful?? A person with signs of Bi-polar disorder *close friend like this* are the same signs that I get from my husband everyday. He basically told me that he wouldnt seek any sort of help, and if we cant fix our problems our self, then he would end the marriage right now, and leave and never come back. He said he wouldnt do it for anyone, not his family not his friends and NOT me. And almost instantly after saying this, walk off with his fake personality singing and acting overly happy as almost to smack me in the fact like "haha i won".
I am a christian, God fearing, and love my family and i love my husband. But I cannot continue living like this any longer with someone who doesnt love and respect me like I deserve.
What can I do?

[Gigabitch]

Pull your head out of your ass, pack your bags and get your kids out of there.

The fact that you are exposing children to this kind of toxic environment means that you get NO SYMPATHY from me about this. Take some responsibility for the fact that you are supposed to be an adult and that your primary function in life right now is to be a mother to those children. That comes before being a wife, before being a Christian, before everything else there is.

It is YOUR job to protect them from people like your husband. You're doing terrible damage to them by keeping them in this circumstance. You should be deeply, mortally ashamed of yourself and do something about this IMMEDIATELY. Stop whinging about what a meanie you married. Get out.

[cmacattack1]

You've certainly tried your best to be patience and get him to help himself, but if he doesn't want to, if he wants to blame you for all of his actions and behaviors and threatens to leave you as a bargaining chip to keep you in this marraige, by all means, let him go. How much longer are you willing to endure before you completely break down from this torrent of emotional, verbal, and physical abuse? Does he need to cheat on you or beat you before you have clear leverage to leave him? You have to get out of there and away from him. He has to help himself and he's not going to when he has his parents babying him and you to come home to after all of his actions every night. He lives in a bubble, and has zero consequences to his actions.

It makes me so sad to see you in this situation and still clinging and fighting for something you believe in. Being a former emotional abuser myself, I've not done nearly as much as your husband has and I've messed up girlfriends very badly in shorter periods of time. It took me getting dumped on my ass and have to face the embaressment in the mirror to really want to change and better myself for somebody I can potentially spend the rest of my life with. He has kids, he's already been through a marriage and he is still acting like a child and taking zero responsibility. I don't know what more it is going to take for him to realize this but as long as you are there, you are continuing to subject you and your children to this abuse.

Go. NOW. Cut contact and give you and your children some space. It will hurt and you will feel guilty but you will be happy not being around that.