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Thread: Hiding behind IM

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    Hiding behind IM

    Hi

    A week ago a guy accepted my contact request on RSVP. We chat online for a while each day for 5 days straight, then he says he goes overseas day 6 & sends an email. Day 7 sends 3 emails, one containing photos, and an offline message. One email received after 1st chat session was a love poem. Two emails day 7 are more love poems.

    Chat for a couple of days is ok but then I like to move to the phone, its more personal, and suggested as much, and got the "I've cut the line off cos I'm going overseas for 3wks".

    I'm a firm believer of where there's a will there's a way.. and there are payphones!!

    Should I be worried and cut off contact (we haven't arranged to meet) or am I being paranoid?

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    There could be many reasons.

    Why don't you just go with the flow for now but if and when he wants to meet you, tell him you'll feel more confortable if at least you talk on the phone.
    "Oh I could spend my life having this conversation. Look, please try to understand before one of us dies"

    Quote Originally Posted by Yet another guy View Post
    It's just plain simpler to view the world as black and white rather than probabilistic shades of gray.

  3. #3
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    He can afford to go overseas but he can't afford a cell phone?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    hhmm, cant you call him over there? maybe its really awkward to do so? maybe he's shy?

    if he's contacting you that much via email and he's sending love poems...you dont have anything to worry about in my humble opinion...

  5. #5
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    He's married.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    Who cuts off the phone for a three-week trip? Weird.

    I think it's a red flag personally. Sounds like he's hiding something.
    “Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”--George Carlin

  7. #7
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    This is weird behavior. Your reaction isn't paranoid at all.
    Spammer Spanker

  8. #8
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    Nov 2009
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    Thanks for your comments. Yeah, something doesn't add up that's for sure. Proceeding with caution... bags of the stuff!!!!

  9. #9
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    Nov 2009
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    Update.. well we came out from behind IM a week ago and have spoken a few times, mostly initiated by me, txt everyday, mostly initiated by me and chatted in IM everyday for the past 15 days bar one.. all initated by him. He is in Nigeria, and the number definitely checks out there, and will return to Perth in 2wks, but hasn't got a flight booked. Alarm bells still ringing. He can say all the right things, and does, but his actions are saying something else. Who leaves booking a flight until you've actually finished the contract and gets paid? He said he only took enough money for lil things but then says he has brought a new laptop. And his profile is still active on the interent dating website, even though he said he isn't checking it and will shut it down, and he is no.6 in the top 100 in his age group... which means he is getting and sending/replying to lots of contact requests.. I know cos I got to no.7 myself.

    So I have set up a dummy profile and sent him a contact request. We will see what happens....

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    ^ LOL...sorry, couldnt help but chuckle at the mention of a dummy profile.
    Reminded me of when I set one up to catch out my current guy. Only problem was, I ended up feeling guilty and so I deleted it and without contacting him via it.

    In order to be a good liar, you need to have a good memory.....which this guy doesnt seem to have, lols

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