i don't get it...

[steven001]

Honestly, I don't get what to do. I feel like girls always talk about how cute they think I am to their friends, but when I hang out with them they 'don't see me as more than a friend.' I don't know what to do anymore. Girls are always like "oh you do just fine" which is a complete myth, when in reality, I really struggle with dating. I feel like i don't connect with any girl I actually like. They tell their friends they like me when I least suspect it, but when I try flirting, they don't reciprocate. I'm just utterly confused. What could I be doing wrong? ugh. I feel like girls like me but I just fall between the cracks and they don't realize that I'm just desperate for someone to actually get to know me.

[girl68]

I'll bet when you hear a girl likes you, your try to turn on this fake desperado act and it couldn't send the girl running faster. I think you need to focus on one girl, one you think is cute. Chat her up and ask her out. Don't sit around waiting for girls to tell you their friend likes you.

[vicki2]

How did you express yourself to the one you like? Girls usually like someone who's confident & relax...not someone who's uptight or desperate.

[steven001]

I wrote that last night when I was drunk and frustrated lol. but yeah frustrated is a good word for my love life right now. I'm sick of people asking me why I don't have a girlfriend blah blah blah...i don't have a good answer for it. i'm in my senior year of college and i just feeling like i'm pissing away opportunities.i'm in an awful slump at the moment and my confidence is just suffering, too. I can't seem to effectively pursue a girl I like, i'm just horrible at sending the right messages. My natural personality is kind of introverted, but can be pretty social when i want to. I just come off as uninterested a lot of the time and I don't mean to...I can be really dreamy sometimes. So when I want to make sure the girl knows what I want I think I come on too strong. I just have a different kind of personality that is tough to match with dating sometimes.

The frustrating part is that it always sounds like there is lots of girls out there interested in me, but I always screw it up somehow. I feel like a lot of girls have a 'what's this guy really after' attitude about me when i'm really just trying to legitimately pursue a girl. People seem to think that I have a lot of luck with girls in general and that I 'play the field' but this really isn't the case at all...I actually kind of suck with women. I don't know why people have this impression. Throughout college I've only gone on real dates with about three or four girls. A lot of times I feel I don't flirt enough or something and send the 'i'm just trying to be friends' message. I spent way too long chasing after this one girl I really liked, too, and am still trying to bounce back from that. I'm just in an awful slump, does anyone have advice for getting out of one? I'm just confused with myself at this point I feel misunderstood most of the time

[steven001]

well the problem at this point is that i'm almost feeling semi-desperate lol. i'm graduating soon and going overseas for the military when I do and I wanna see what's out there in college while i have the chance...

[girl68]

I think you just need to take a step back and relax. Lame advice I know right? Well at the moment you're way too frusterated and almost desperate I can understand why. But you really do have to just relax and make a few mental notes for yourself to do or not do when you're interested in a girl. If you like a gal find a way to spend a little bit of time together and make her laugh. Relax, and have a little fun. If you need to take a little break from all the girls and dating do so. ANd stop listening to the people who keep messing with you about your game, and macking skills- it's putting way too much pressure on you.

[steven001]

I'll bet when you hear a girl likes you, your try to turn on this fake desperado act and it couldn't send the girl running faster. I think you need to focus on one girl, one you think is cute. Chat her up and ask her out. Don't sit around waiting for girls to tell you their friend likes you.

u know ur kinda right with the 'fake desperado act'...i feel like i always act kinda weird around a girl when i like her...i put too much pressure on myself. i had this girl who i was friends with but was like secretly madly in love with but had decided i wasn't gonna pursue anything cuz it'd just make me look dumb and ruin our friendship. i never thought i had a chance with her but i always just acted like myself around her cuz i wasnt pressuring myself to pursue anything and she ended up kissing me and asking me what i thought about dating. but eventually i started to put pressure on myself once i realized what i had at stake and basically ruined it...if i would have just acted like my normal self and not tried so hard to be her boyfriend who knows we might still be together...i wish...man this girl was a catch...damn...i suck when i am trying basically but can't help it sometimes i dunno how to shut it off