Hoping for some words of wisdom

[sunrise12]

Hi all, Im writing here to feel better, and hoping someone answers...


My case starts like this:

I met my best friend in a complicated time in her life, she had family issues.. I was always therefore her, until one day out of the blue we kissed.. It started as a joke and then it became official.

Everything went pretty fast from that point, and I was in a situation very scared for my family finding out and her family as well. She on the other hand was very open and seemed frustrated by my shyness and fear... I couldnt handle lying so much to my family that I told her I wanted to cut. During this break, everything seemed the same, we were "together" yet not by name. She was so caring and kept sending cards and going out always. Every week she would ask me to come back with her, stating she loved me to death.

I know, I didnt see how much I loved her I guess I thought she would never leave, and hoped she would wait for me. Long story short: she gave an ultimatum after 2 years of begging and I asked her back. We started dating for 1 month, I started to change for her, being sweet and caring.

After that month things didnt seem right: she didnt pick up the phone, didnt have time, wasnt caring, didnt travel with me, etc. She said she had alot on her school.

I finally broke up after 2 months when I caught her lying constantly. I was heartbroken she didnt even care, and sought to find the truth. i have finally found out: she cheated on me since the beginning (3.5 years ago) with a family member and she was dating someone else when I took her back, and many more lies.

I cant believe it and now I dont know what to do its so painful.... She says she loves her new date and me at the same time. I havent contacted her since November, only once she tried on January thinking I didnt know everything I now know..

Why do I love her so much if I didnt even know her??
Is it true you can love 2 people at once?

[lahnnabell]

This girl doesn't love anything but causing others pain apparently. She wasn't the girl you thought you knew, and I understand your head must be reeling from all of this. I'm sorry she's such a low life. Best to cut all contact with her and begin to heal on your own.

[QueenofCorona]

I think if you love two people like she claims she does, then she's not loving one enough. Read: you.

I think the best thing you can do is call it a loss move on and don't listen to her anymore. She wants you as her fall back crutch. You are too good for that.

WTF kind of person hooks up with their own family member? Good lord. Karma is a mofo and will bite her back.

[VincenzoG91]

I finally broke up after 2 months when I caught her lying constantly. I was heartbroken she didnt even care, and sought to find the truth. i have finally found out: she cheated on me since the beginning (3.5 years ago) with a family member and she was dating someone else when I took her back, and many more lies.

I cant believe it and now I dont know what to do its so painful.... She says she loves her new date and me at the same time. I havent contacted her since November, only once she tried on January thinking I didnt know everything I now know..

Why do I love her so much if I didnt even know her??
Is it true you can love 2 people at once?

For the first half of your post, I didn't feel any sympathy for you. It seemed like your insecurities wrecked a decent relationship and left her suffering silently for years. Then I kept reading your post and changed my mind. I think that, deep down, you somehow sensed that there was something wrong with her, and you were right.

Incest is appalling. She has some serious issues. And if she thinks that she is in love with two people at the same time, it's possible that the only person she really loves is herself.

From what you're describing, you never really knew her, due to all the lies. You fell in love a lie, but the truth is disgusting. Dump her fast, and never look back.

[cmacattack1]

Why does it always end up that when you FINALLY give a shit and start to give them your full potential, is when they pull a complete 180 on you and want nothing to do with you? She wanted to build the relationship from the beginning but had the high hopes of changing you and then when it finally happened she lost interest. But if she was cheating on you from the get go, I guess it doesn't say too much about her true intention. It doesn't make sense other than that she hung on and you guys didn't build a relationship together.

Not that it matters much anyway. That baby she is going to have with that family member is going to be all nert nerted out.