In need of advice, trying to see where things go with an ex.

[SeriouslyLackin]

I have been talking to an ex from 4 years ago for about 4-5 months now. Almost as long as we dated.

Our past was good, and terrible. The break up and the months that followed were horrendous, to put it lightly. Much of that, due to be and my actions.

Anyways, we reconnected recently, talked about the past, think that we can put it behind us but to take things slow. Fine, I would prefer that.
I thought we were on the same page, thought we had decided to talk and see where things might go. But now he's made a new account on a dating site, and won't take it down even though I said I took mine down.

He's talking to others I know.

Should I be understanding and shrug this off, as I am not in the position to be angry.
Or am I? I thought we were trying to see where things might go, he gets upset that I might have other interests, but he denies the account on the profile.

Anyways, all we have is talking at the moment, we hung out once. Be he lives 3 hours away. I might be seeing him at the end of the month, but really don't know what to do.

Part of me wants to tell him to eff off, part of me just wants him to want me and stop talking or looking for better.

It's driving me batty, and I am no angel. I put him through the wringer I assure you, saying I don't want to talk to him at least once a week, but we always talk through it.

I just want to be normal, feel normal, react normal..will I ever.
What should I do :s

[cmacattack1]

Isn't this just more proof that some things just can't be put behind you, even if you say it has been? I know it's been four years, but if it was an important and serious relationship to you it has put a permanent mark on you. And I think it's safe to assume that this has been. I don't mean to dumpster dive, but what happened four years ago and what did you do that made things so horrible? I can't help but feel like he played a part as well. Are you trying to do this to give yourself redemption for what you did to him before?

You say that you guys both want to work towards this but do you both really want to? It doesn't sound like he is fully committed to this. I know that you are taking things slow and I think that's what you should do. If he wants to explore his options though, what are you proving by taking down your own dating profile?

[Kaius]

I never thought it was possible for exs to get back together just like that.
Maybe there is a reason why you two broke up. That reason would never be buried.