his things or my things?

[briggida]

Hello!

This is my case:

My niece makes her first Holy Communion. My boyfriend and I agreed to go to the church and celebration (for me is very important that my boyfriend go with me, of course). The problem is that my boyfriend have a concert the same day (one work of the concert was composed by him, it is a premiere, performed by some choirs).

I argued with he about my religious ceremony was put the date before than his concert. I feel left by my great love. It is the third similar situation (in two years of relationship) in which having an appointment, him another thing arises and leaves me for another thing: the other thing it is more important than mines. I think that he don't fight for our relationship. I don't know what to do.

Thank you

[Gigabitch]

You go to the church. It's your niece, not his. Let him go to the concert without a fight. if this were actually YOUR thing, it might be different, but it's not yours- it's your niece's.

You're being unreasonable and demanding.

[FullofSighs]

Well not much you can do. Your either gunna have to deal with it, leave him, or tell him he needs to make a little more commitment to doing things you wanna do once in a while and that if he can't do that you'll leave him. That is pretty much all of your options.

[Jas_mine]

His concert is probably way more important than your niece's Holy Communion, well, to him anyway. I don't think you are being very understanding, it's not about his things or my things, it's about prioritising. Try to adopt his view every now and then.

[ftm]

I have to agree with the above respondents here. Given the information you've provided, I think you are being a tad unreasonable. This is your niece we are talking about, not your child. It's not even his family -- you aren't married. If I were him, I'd go to the premiere of my work over a girlfriend's nieces communion, too. Show some support to him and maybe he'll be more forthcoming with support for you when the time comes.

[VincenzoG91]

Unless you two are sharing a vehicle, I don't see the problem here? In fact, it might be healthier in the long-term if you two continue to have some separate activities.

[the_doggoned]

what you should be saying in this situation: (a little cheesed up, but it's more fun like that.)

"I'm so happy for you, and that the composition that you wrote is being performed in concert. I'm so proud of you and I wish I could be there to see you, but I have to go to my nieces communion celebration. I hope it goes well and I want you to tell me all about when it's over! I'd love for you to be able to come with me to my nieces communion thing, but I know how important this concert is for you. I hope it goes well!"

what you ARE saying in this situation:

"Who cares about your stupid concert. My nieces communion celebration is way more important. You're a jerk for not canceling your concert and going with me and I don't support you and things you enjoy. I'm controlling and only care about what I want to do!"

[briggida]

Many thanks!

I am going through for a very difficult time right now: my parents are ill, and I need the support of my boyfriend.