Here's my situation: I'm a man, in my mid-30s, married a little more than five years, and we have a son who is nearly a year old. The relationship between me and my wife is pretty good overall; however, I am extremely dissatisfied with our sexual incompatibility. The main point of disagreement will probably not surprise anyone; I have a high sex drive and her libido is very low. Yes, I know it's to be expected in the first few weeks after a chid is born. Of course, we have much less couple time now than in the past.
However, what really bothers me is that she appears to be totally disinterested in sex. I have really taken that very personally. Regardless of what she says, I totally do not believe that she finds me sexually attractive. I've long felt I'm a fairly attractive guy, and I get a fair amount of compliments from female colleagues - especially if I'm dressed up especially nice. Even so, I've also felt for many years that women, by and large, don't find me attractive and I believe they judge me negatively. This feeling is stronger now than it ever has been, and it makes me extremely depressed and non-confident in social interactions in pretty much any walk of life.
Some of you will tell me I need to see a therapist. I've been there, done that, with very few results to show for the time and money spent.
What's truly hilarious is that my wife makes comments that she thinks other women have a crush on me, or she has dreams that I had an affair (I've never cheated). However, through her own actions, she doesn't show any apparent interest. She expects me to pursue her all the time. I don't feel like getting shot down. I also don't go out of my way to schedule any dates for us. I spend so much time working that I want to spend as much time with my son as I can.
Many times, I think I should end the relationship but I want to stay in this for my son, and because it would kill us both financially to split up.
I know some people will say I'm being selfish, but I think my feelings are real and need to be addressed. I have tried talking about this with her, and she says that things will change, but I don't see a whole lot that tells me she's making a legitimate effort at working on the relationship. Most of the time, I feel angry at her and either blow up about small things, or I'm just passive-aggressive.
Thank you for reading all of this. I appreciate any honest feedback that you offer.