Ahhhh! What to do.

[fallen.angel]

I am married and have been with my partner for 12 years. Only man I have ever been with. A few minor grumbles but otherwise a pretty great guy.

I recently met someone. I can't get over the way it feels just to be around him. There is something there but neither of us have said or done anything because I am married. He has a genuine warmth and smile that just lights that spark. We can't look into each other's eyes for too long because we both know what's really going on. Can't stop thinking about him. But not just sexually. I have never felt this way about another man before and it is not at all like me. I want to spend more time with him but we are not sure about "outcomes". There is an attraction here I have never known before.

Am I wrong? Should I pretend that his eyes & smile don't completely make me melt? What's going on and what do I do?!

[Jas_mine]

Dangerous territory - tread carefully. You have more to lose than him. Is it worth throwing your marriage away on a whim?

You say your hubby is a pretty great guy, my milkman is a pretty great guy, so is my postman, what I mean to say it that you don't sound too enthusiastic about him. I think you should work on fixing your marriage - he is the only guy you have been with so I can imagine that you must wonder what it would be like with somebody else, and since you have been together for so long your relationship possibly lacks the excitement and fun that new guy can provide. You need to concentrate on how you can make your marriage more exhilarating and fresh, how you can recreate the sparks.

When you have been married for a lengthy period, passion and romance are put aside on the back burner whilst other aspects take priority, and then you find yourself stuck in an extremely mundane routine. You and your hubby should try courting again - lunch dates, dinner, dancing, it's best if you meet each other at the location, arrive separately rather than together so that it feels more new. And you should make a pact not to talk about 'boring' things like bills and finance and what not, treat it exactly like a date! I know it takes a lot of time and patience, clearing up your schedules if they are tight but persevere. It seems like you may just be attracted to new guy on the scene because he offers what is lacking from your current relationship be this attention or affection or even both. Rather than believing it's a sign that you should be with him, think of it as a sign that hints at what is lacking in your marriage so that you can ultimately 'fix' it.

[VincenzoG91]

Yeah, either end your marriage or fix your marriage first, before you get involved with anybody else. That first surge of infatuation is exciting, but your life will be in constant turmoil if you keep chasing after it. And you barely know this new guy, he could have serious issues that you don't even know about yet. Don't throw away a marriage for the fleeting sensation of novelty.

[xxazurexx]

This is why I don't understand why people marry.

What we want now, isn't always what we will want in 10, 20 years...we change and people change.

Saying that, what you have going with this guy is an infatuation and infatuation wears off.
The advantage he has over your husband, is that he is 'new', while your husband is not and is 'familiar'.

Why can't people like you be content with what you have??

You made a vow, 'till death do we part'....TRY STICKING TO IT!!!!