Love or Lust. . . possibly stupidity?

[like_a_somebody]

Hello all advise givers. I am a 19 year old with an on-going problem.

Pretty much it all started when I was 16 during the summer we went to Chicago to somebody's wedding. Normal wedding bunch of cute looking girls and what not. But there was this one chick were I looked at her once and herd her speaking to her friend which made me lose my train of thought through out the whole trip. So it happens to everyone I come back to NY and she still on my mind like all the time. But it's all good ,back in the day I was a player. My rule have a girl for two weeks and leave no problem no love just love extremely simple. So i come back and resume my "dirty work", but this time things are different, the girl face and voice are insanely going through my head all the time i felt like a pycho freak when ever it would happen. Little by little instead of going out with girl and hitting on them I just completely stopped. Its been two years and I've been single my friends think I've lost my even my ex's think its stupid. But maybe I feel enlightened. Instead of hurting and breaking a girls heart I've become someone who helps them instead.

Giving advice to other peoples "love life" and relationships became second nature to me, it looked like I made a u-turn and know this girl's face and voice won't come into my head. But there not a day that goes by where I can't see her in my head. It feels as if I'm lost lately and its been getting worse as of know.It feels as I've been hit with karma lol. I've done a lot of wrong I know but just this face has changed me. Then I thought okay so its just one girl there's many more out there. But I can't do it like i don't have any attraction to any girl besides her. She my aunt friends lil sister, so I found out her name. I tried added her on facebook but to no avail. Then I thought why would she accept a guy who has no mutual friends with her and lives in NY. I tried to think things through both ways. I understand it's extremely stupid for me to say I have fallen in love with this girl. The best option I can get on my own is to forget about her there are many more girls out there. There are fishes in the see I understand that, but my mind won't listen to my heart its freaking retarded it keeps going after the same fish.

Please I'm open ears to any advice like seriously any advice .

[MM894]

My somewhat brash, probably insensitive advice:

You haven't seen the girl in three years, you've talked to her zero times, and I don't think it's likely you're going to have any kind of relationship with her. There's no way a girl like that should be altering your behavior. I'm comfortable with being a jerk and saying that if you go out and mess around with another girl this "girl of your dreams" will eventually drop right out of your head. If you see her again somewhere down the line, great, go up and meet her then, but you shouldn't be holding yourself back from other experiences banking on that.

[like_a_somebody]

thanks for it I'm definitely going to give it a shot again. Hopefully there is some other girl who can take my mind of this because even I find it extremely stupid that this girl is on my mind when we haven't even really talked, but thanks for the advice much appreciated , probably just had to get this out of my system.

[xxazurexx]

How can you love her? You don't even know her.

I'd say it was an obsession and they aint healthy :|

[like_a_somebody]

Lol, I never once said i loved her. Love is an abused word , with many different definitions. . .so i wouldn't understand what love is at all, just needed a good title.

[xxazurexx]

Lol, I never once said i loved her. Love is an abused word , with many different definitions. . .so i wouldn't understand what love is at all, just needed a good title.

Well I was going by the title 'Is it Love or Lust......or Stupidity'?

And you are kinda fixated on her and have been for 3 years, despite not knowing her, so it's an obsession in my book.

I wonder if anyone is 'fixated' on me and has been for 3 years....ya never know eh?

[like_a_somebody]

yea i can't believe I'm obsessed damn lol,well sh*t happens I suppose.

You never know whose "fixated" on you. . .you really never know

I know my ex's are fixated on me till the day i die

May God Save me

[BelievNLove]

Just to throw a different angle in here... You said you tried to friend her on FB, did you send a message with the request explaining who you were and that you had met her at a wedding? Maybe the best way to expunge her from your thoughts is to actually confront her... have some sort of genuine communication with her! It will either open the door or slam it in your face.