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Thread: Need help approaching this girl

  1. #1
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    Need help approaching this girl

    Okay, here's the history:

    We're going to the same university (both freshman year) and we first met when going home from one major exams. We went together (a rather short walk, hardly 5 mins) and we had some chat and that was it.

    Then, when the second semester started, we met in the corridor and there was this look all the way, she said "Hi!" kinda shyly, I did the same. Then some more eye contact occured, so next time I saw her with her schoolmates outside the school, I stopped by for a little talk, which actually went quite well and I asked her if she wants to hang out for a little while with some other ppl on this boat-like thing attached to river if she has some time, to which she said, that they've just ended and going home slowly. We talked a little more and then I went to buy some food. It was a good talk, quite casual, but we exchanged some good slang-phrases (lol), so that was cool.

    Then there was some more eye contact, then I met her alone on a bus stop. I was having a bad hair day etc., but did not chicken out and tried my best. She met with a friend of hers, we all continued to chat and then their bus arrived. I said I can come along, it's on my way. Inside the bus the conversation wasn't all that good, but what the heck, when we stepped out, I asked her number and if she wants to go out sometimes. Her friend actually commented "Hey come on, say yes and let's get going.", but the girl kinda panicked, or what, and said, that we can talk about that later in school and off she went.

    I thought I might have just gotten gently refused (due to my poor performance and crappy hair), but I relaxed and she actually continued to literally shout "HI" to me across whole staircase when we met at Uni etc. Some more eye-contact sorta thing occured, so I hit her up on one mutual lecture, asked, what's new, but I was doing most of the talk and it was about school, kinda boring unfortunately.

    So I relaxed some more, and when I got the impression, that she really is eye-contacting me deliberately, after one another mutual lecture I once again stopped by her & her schoolmates and asked her, if she has some time right now, to which she replied, that just totally now she has something arranged with a friend of her. I didn't want to seem like an idiot "Where are you two going?!", so I just said something along the lines "Ya ok, I'll stop by sometimes, cya ". Notice she didn't said anything like "hey but maybe later something something".

    There were some more brief episodes and I am getting more and more baffled, because when we talk, she seems very polite, nice, but not thrilled. On the other hand, she finds my eyes quite often and she initiates first, when we say "Hi.", she straightens up, smiles and looks me in the eyes. I am utterly confused!!! From what one other girl said, she isn't the shy type. But then again she wouldn't say that about me either and yet I'm nervous, butterflies in belly and heart beating when talking to this girl.

    Anyway, this is not a rant. I've come to conclusion, that she wants to build something up more smoothly, than going straight out for a date, so - we're both young, attractive and on the same school. Has anyone got any crazy and random and surprising stuff to hit someone with, which has worked for him? I mean some actually good random-crazy conversational topics, not pickup lines lol.

    Also, post an opinion pls - am I misinterpreting her? I'll live with rejection, but these are some serious mixed signals :O If she keeps up the eye contact, she'll have to keep up with me hitting on her to some degree lol. (unfortunately some quality hitting on didn't really happen last 3-4 weeks, just this irrational stuff, so help me up here).

    Thanks everyone!
    Last edited by TheBlackFlux; 22-04-10 at 06:48 AM.

  2. #2
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    I'm not meaning to be mean here, but why do you assume that this girl is even interested in anything other than friends?

    Because she catches your gaze??

    You say that she's giving 'mixed' signals, that perhaps she is wanting to build up slowly with you.

    Sorry but I don't see that she is giving 'mixed' signals. She acts as any normal, friendly person would act.

    What I see here, is some girl who is friendly, polite, who has now sensed you have read more into her friendliness and is now backing off.

    Just because a female will be friendly with you, isn't an indicator she is looking for more.

  3. #3
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    It's a little mean :/ It's no crime to think she's in for something if she continually does these little things, come on. Yea, it's the gaze and friendliness.

    You're probably right. Then again, we probably misunderstood each other on some basic level with the girl, I thought that if she wouldn't want to go out eventually,
    she wouldn't bother to do these little things at all and she'd try to push me away and stop all contact, which didn't really happen. Like always saying this clear hello
    first, even after I ceased to "bother" her for some weeks at all etc. I mean we don't have that much in common other than these few episodes - why didn't she break everything off.
    I thought she was shy lol.

    Well if you're right, she belongs to the "friends" folder. Does everybode share this opinion based on the story?

  4. #4
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    Yeah, I'm in agreement with azure. Nothing in that story is clearly an indicator that she wants anything more than a friend. Sounds like she's just being friendly.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBlackFlux View Post
    It's a little mean :/ It's no crime to think she's in for something if she continually does these little things, come on. Yea, it's the gaze and friendliness.
    But you shouldn't read into things, lol. A mere friend would be consistent in being friendly and polite with you. It doesn't necessarily mean there is a motive behind it.

    Ya know, guys like you post on forums all the time about different girls. They say the girl is friendly, polite, laughs at his jokes, etc and I dunno. It just seems to me that some of you guys think that because a female is friendly toward you, it's gotta mean more and sometimes it doesn't mean more, or that she is looking for more. Then guys complain and because they say the female is sending 'mixed' signals and is playing games? But she isn't....the guy interpreted it all wrongly and assumed the 'friendliness' meant more than it actually did. They then wonder why she's backing off, when he's coming on stronger and because he's misinterpreted it wrongly.

    And I think this is what has happened in your situation.
    I just feel that if a female is interested, she doesn't back off and particularly not when she knows you and has already chatted to you. She would seek out your company more and you would know, just know if this was a female who was happy to be around you. Her friend said she wasn't the 'shy' type and her friend knows her better than you, so this likely isn't a shy female. This is an excuse for her and because you don't want to to face up to be, what may be the truth, that she sees you as just a friend.

    Don't read into anything, just be yourself around females and whatever is meant to happen, will happen

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