Can you, should you

**Perryville** · 22-04-10, 11:25 AM

So can men really be platonic friends with women, without any erotic feelings? I really don't think so, I think that there is usually and attraction component, but maybe I could be wrong. What do you think?

**all alone** · 22-04-10, 11:47 AM

Is it possible? definitely, i have several friends which I do not have any sort of attraction for. However by the same token, i have several friends which have the attractiveness aspect you mention.

I mean you must have at least ONE friend whose female, unattractive, but your friends w her, maybe you have known them a long time and their a cool person, but your not attracted to them in anyways.. i would find it hard to believe most guys don't have at least one friend like this..

**Perryville** · 22-04-10, 11:56 AM

I suppose I should have mentioned an exception for female relatives.

**Charlie Boy II** · 22-04-10, 11:57 AM

one of my best friends is a girl I have known since I was eight years old. There is zero attraction on either side. We've never even got drunk and pashed on, and we would have been drunk together hundreds of times. She's dating a girl at the moment, which may partially explain things.

But most of the time, I've been at least partially attracted to girls I've been friends with even if not actively looking to have sex with them.

**vashti** · 22-04-10, 12:00 PM

I vote no, not really. Unless they are unattractive to you or gay, I think there will always be at least a passing thought...

**Perryville** · 22-04-10, 12:07 PM

I agree with you. Vash. Even though I would never act upon it, there is always the thought in the back of your mind, "What If"?

**doppelgaenger** · 22-04-10, 01:26 PM

Yes. I have several female friends and I don't believe any erotic feelings are involved. Most of the girls are ones I played with during childhood and grew up with. Others are girls I went to school with. Some I've known since they began dating my friends and I am pretty close to them.

There have been a few friends who liked me in the past, but once I found out I cut off contact from them. The girls I went to prom with, for example (They asked me) had crushes on me and I was only interested in friendship. They stopped talking to me, I guess, because I never made a move.

**Cbrider** · 22-04-10, 01:33 PM

Lets get down to the real matter at hand. Is there such thing as a platonic relationship with any of the women on your Facebook friends list?

**misombra** · 22-04-10, 01:34 PM

i had a guy friend once. we were friends for a long long time and that's all i ever thought we would be. then he got married and moved away. then i saw him years later at a wedding, without his wife, and he was hitting on me.

after that i say no.

**doppelgaenger** · 22-04-10, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by Cbrider

Lets get down to the real matter at hand. Is there such thing as a platonic relationship with any of the women on your Facebook friends list?

Better yet, why do people have 100s of people that aren't even really friends on facebook?

**dono01** · 22-04-10, 10:40 PM

I would have to tend to go with the mechanics of the human neurological network on this one, and vote NO... they cannot.

Simply put, if you are normal, men are wired to have an attraction to women, and women are wired to have an attraction to me. Wether or not you can be "just friends" is always an item that is up for debate. But 9.9 times out of 10, the relationship with have a different tint to it.

**the_robot** · 22-04-10, 11:53 PM

Originally Posted by dono01

, and women are wired to have an attraction to me.

That's a bit egocentric, isn't it? :-P

I vote yes, I've had female friends who I had no "erotic feelings" for.

**Gigabitch** · 23-04-10, 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by the_robot

That's a bit egocentric, isn't it? :-P

Not really. He's adorable.

I can only think of one person that might fit this "platonic male friend" description and that's my brother's lifelong best friend. He's really just like another brother to me. That doesn't mean he feels the same way, though. I don't know if he has the same incest taboo thing going on in my direction.

**lahnnabell** · 23-04-10, 01:39 AM

It's not exactly a two-way street. What I mean by that is it seems as though my male friends are attracted to me in some way, yet I've never been attracted to them on more than a friendly level. I've talked with some of them about this and they've admitted freely that they'd bang me if they had my permission, but they know where the line is. This enables me to stay close to them without the drama of insinuated feelings and all. I trust that I'd pick up on it if they were sending more serious vibes my way. To me it's like having a ton of big brothers despite the fact that they find me sexually attractive. I just don't feel the same about them.

People like to get down on me for keeping more male than female friends. They say I do it for the attention, or that they only hang around to see if they can get some. It's never been like that. I was treated really badly by a lot of my female friends while growing up. Manipulation, lying, making fun of me... It was awful. When I finally reached high school, I decided I was done with the petty drama. I found a lot of solid friends in the guys in my life and it's remained that way to this day. I have a lot more female friends now too now that I have the freedom of not having to closely associate unwillingly with other girls through school.

**Pietomb** · 30-04-10, 11:13 PM

Most of my female friends i had some kind of attraction towards but it rapidly went and now they really are "just friends"

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