What makes you want to marry?

[cmacattack1]

I wonder if the OP was looking for suggestions to snare her man for good? Oops on the BC? Sorry, that's not funny.

Being a lazy, halfasses boyfriend in the past and all: to want to marry somebody should mean that you want to share everything you have to offer to that other person and only them. While we don't spend every second together, that time that is spent together is the most blissful and the most looked forward to. The feeling of growing together and strengthening of the bond each and every day, and that indescribable feeling that comes with it continues to grow.

[doppelgaenger]

Marriage to me has little to do with love or feelings, commitment, or any of that. I believe all those things should be well established before marriage is even considered.

Marriage is a legal doctrine and it is about finance, rights, benefits, etc.

For my relationship, it means that my SO and I may live together in the same country and share marital benefits as well as financial stability.

[EnjoyingLife]

Thanks guys. Good to hear different reasons.

[the ice man]

All the wrong reasons? Some of them for sure. It is better if that does not cross the sign of the answer

[CAM]

Nothing in my heart makes me wish to marry.

From a purely reasonable perspective, however, I know that I need someone in my life or I'll begin to slip in small or large ways. I'm a highly self-destructive person--without the benefits of socialiability, interdependence, and love, I will literally work myself to death, working in a state of delerium with the help of Johnnie Walker and friends, intermingled no doubt with moments of absolute sobriety, deep piety, fear, and lasting guilt.

The woman I marry will be eccentric, smart, of exotic beauty, deeply passionate and compassionate, and a strong strong soul.

[roy_delene]

the only reason I got married is so I'd have legal rights to my child, other wise marriage is a waste of time and effort to me. I realize of course marriage means a lot to some people so I'm not totally down on marriage. If it works for you then go for it

[IndiReloaded]

Marriage is socially endorsed convention meant to help provide a stable family environment for raising young children into healthy, contributing members of society.

Sadly, its been bastardized into a Hollywood romantic drama fiasco focussed on the needs of the individual instead of the good of the family. People get married and have children for purely selfish reasons. I think marriage (and divorce) is too easy. There should be a deep cost to getting married and an even larger cost to getting divorced. Not financial, but social in terms of community service or some such. Want a divorce? You owe 5000 hours of community and/or self-improvement counselling so you can learn from your mistakes.

For mature couples, or those without children, the only other reasons I can think of are legal/financial ones. To consolidate assets, reduce taxes and ensure a say in health care decisions.

[CAM]

Marriage is socially endorsed convention meant to help provide a stable family environment for raising young children into healthy, contributing members of society.

Sadly, its been bastardized into a Hollywood romantic drama fiasco focussed on the needs of the individual instead of the good of the family. People get married and have children for purely selfish reasons. I think marriage (and divorce) is too easy. There should be a deep cost to getting married and an even larger cost to getting divorced. Not financial, but social in terms of community service or some such. Want a divorce? You owe 5000 hours of community and/or self-improvement counselling so you can learn from your mistakes.

For mature couples, or those without children, the only other reasons I can think of are legal/financial ones. To consolidate assets, reduce taxes and ensure a say in health care decisions.

I totally agree. It is about the kids, absolutely. It is also about commitment to one another. For those of a religious persuasion, it is also about a holy sacrament...a mutual commitment to become one in the eyes of a diety, etc., etc.

Yes, for mature couples it is about circling the wagons...against taxes and health care providers. And, let's be honest...people do need one another. Mutual sanity and support as one goes through life--the good stages and the bad ones, too.

[EnjoyingLife]

I want to get married but I don't really, as I can't be bothered with all of the fairy princess bs on the wedding day! It would be great to be attractive forever and have a string of boyfriends throughout your life. When you get bored of one move onto the next! But you could then regret not having children and as a woman you only have a limited time.

[the_robot]

I want to get married but I don't really, as I can't be bothered with all of the fairy princess bs on the wedding day!

Erm... why not have a "special" wedding? I mean, not all of them have to be at a church with the fairy princess bs.

[CAM]

I want to get married but I don't really, as I can't be bothered with all of the fairy princess bs on the wedding day! It would be great to be attractive forever and have a string of boyfriends throughout your life. When you get bored of one move onto the next! But you could then regret not having children and as a woman you only have a limited time.

This is kind of a selfish attitude and unrealistic, too. Your view of men expressed here is identical to that of the stereotyped male who only wants frivolity and no commitment. Also, it is kind of superficial and a bit of fantasy to think that physical beauty and youth are the basis of a happy relationship--essentially, you are saying "Sigh, if only I could continue to parlay my body into a life-time of f-ck buddies."

To be honest, with that kind of attitude, it would be better for you to never have children--you'd be doing it half-heartedly and the children would suffer the lack of commitment on your part. Be honest with yourself...you aren't cut out for being a woman.

Just remain a teenage girl at heart and in order to satisfy your insatiable desire for meaningless sex, you should become a high school teacher. I hear that is where lots of Cougars find their meat.

[Mathias]

This is kind of a selfish attitude and unrealistic, too. Your view of men expressed here is identical to that of the stereotyped male who only wants frivolity and no commitment. Also, it is kind of superficial and a bit of fantasy to think that physical beauty and youth are the basis of a happy relationship--essentially, you are saying "Sigh, if only I could continue to parlay my body into a life-time of f-ck buddies."

To be honest, with that kind of attitude, it would be better for you to never have children--you'd be doing it half-heartedly and the children would suffer the lack of commitment on your part. Be honest with yourself...you aren't cut out for being a woman.

Just remain a teenage girl at heart and in order to satisfy your insatiable desire for meaningless sex, you should become a high school teacher. I hear that is where lots of Cougars find their meat.

This seems a bit harsh.

[CAM]

Actually, it was stated in a straight-forward realistic manner. " EnjoyingLife" typifies the attitude of a large demographic of young womyn (spelled this way on purpose) in today's America. Can't be bothered... Wishing they were forever young and free to engage in frivolity... Reproduction is viewed more or less as something they have to do (like, yuck)... Geez who could get excited about that down in the mouth attitude?

So, yeah...realistically, she should be a female Peter Pan (Petra Pan, as it may be) and just live in her little fantasy world which makes her happy. The high school teacher comment...well, it is an empircal fact that 20, 30, and 40 something single female teachers are either doing the boys or doing the girls. It is an enormous problem in the US. Fact.

[Mathias]

Actually, it was stated in a straight-forward realistic manner. " EnjoyingLife" typifies the attitude of a large demographic of young womyn (spelled this way on purpose) in today's America. Can't be bothered... Wishing they were forever young and free to engage in frivolity... Reproduction is viewed more or less as something they have to do (like, yuck)... Geez who could get excited about that down in the mouth attitude?

So, yeah...realistically, she should be a female Peter Pan (Petra Pan, as it may be) and just live in her little fantasy world which makes her happy. The high school teacher comment...well, it is an empircal fact that 20, 30, and 40 something single female teachers are either doing the boys or doing the girls. It is an enormous problem in the US. Fact.

Why can't she have a view on what she wants to do with her life that's different from yours?

Why should she have to marry? Taking that, then saying that she would have sex with students if she was a teacher is a huge leap of logic. It seems like you're putting a lot of negative characteristics on her just because she doesn't want to be settled down.

[vashti]

The high school teacher comment...well, it is an empircal fact that 20, 30, and 40 something single female teachers are either doing the boys or doing the girls. It is an enormous problem in the US. Fact.

Can you provide a source that will confirm that this is an "enormous" problem?