Some help please

[predator887]

Hi,

nothing new here but im very inexperienced when it comes to this sort of thing so i could use some advice

i met a girl at a club we both go to about half a year ago, we sent messages to each other a lot and we started going out (she asked me out after my not so subtle hints). Things were going pretty well, she knew i was crazy about her and i know she liked me but she was always worried about people at the club finding out since she had a bad experience with an exboyfriend who she used to work with that made her life misery at her work, she didnt want the same thing to happen at the club.

anyway one day out of the blue she sent me amessage saying that she couldnt do it anymore and that she just wanted to be friends, this was after our second date during which she got a message from her exboyfriend. Anyway i was devastated, ive never felt this way about anyone before, it hit me like a sledgehammer moreso because it was totally unexpected, anyway i havent been able to stop thinking about it for the last 6 months, i cut myself off from her and stopped going to the club and concentrated on my studies

2 weeks ago i went back to the club and she was there, it brought all the pain back and i could do nothing but ignore her the whole time

so its basically an intolerable situation, i think im in love with her, i dont know if she just used me as an ego boost to get over her ex but i can tell she is not happy when i ignore her.

part of me thinks i should be mature and get over my feelings and be mature about it so that we can both have fun at the club, it was only a couple of dates and some messages sent, did i blow things out of all proportion? or should i continue to ignore her? I cant change the way i feel about her.

[xxazurexx]

She likely used you and to try and get over the ex.

Notice how she decided to be 'just friends' and when the ex reappeared on the scene?

Which is why people should never get involved, with those who are fresh out of relationships, or with people who still 'bang' on about their ex.

Life sucks. Relationships are never predictable and we've all fallen for someone who doesn't feel the same.....ya get over it

[predator887]

yeah i know she used me,

what i want to know is what now for me? do i stay angry at her and just ignore her for using me or just suck it up and accept that being friends will make it easier for both of us (mostly easier for her though)

i want to go back to the club and i know she wont leave... so what do i do?

[xxazurexx]

yeah i know she used me,

what i want to know is what now for me? do i stay angry at her and just ignore her for using me or just suck it up and accept that being friends will make it easier for both of us (mostly easier for her though)

i want to go back to the club and i know she wont leave... so what do i do?

I think that before 'friends' is decided, you would to need to know if she is up for 'friends' or not. She may not want to be 'friends'.

Secondly, you need to question why you want to remain 'friends' with her?
Is it for the motive of trying to win her back?
If that is the case, then you are not wanting to be a true friend to her.

Friends with an ex only ever works and if you are 100% and totally over them. You don't appear to be over her and because you ask 'do I still stay angry with her'? You would find that if you became friends, you would be always wanting more from her and when she wasn't reciprocating your feelings, you would get pissed and start to feel resentment. It is hard to be in that situation and in this situation, you will feel even more pissed off than you do now.

Personally I would advise against being her friend.

If you want to go to the club, then I wouldn't let her stop me.
Just go, have a good time and don't let her see that she bothers you.

The best revenge is to act like you don't give a damn about her. It's hard, but it can be done

[predator887]

right, ill take your advice, it sounds about right

thanks a lot!

[Martin84]

She is pretty confused or maybe even scared of her ex. Try to find out if they still have a thing going on. If they are, you should just treat her like dirt because she played you. If however she is scared of her ex, you can do something about it and win her heart.

[Yandzibar]

I agree with what people have said already and I'll add that
staying angry at her will only hurt you. While she's busy doing
who knows what, you'll secretly be hating her, and it won't change
anything. Best of luck to you.