Need advice!

[tiredoflove]

I met this guy last October through some friends at a music festival, it never went anywhere because I was seeing somebody at the time. It wasn't until December when I stopped seeing the other guy that our friendship started to develop. He is has a very shy personality as do I so we never made any advances to each other.
Because I live in a different state to him it was hard to get closer in person because I hardly go back to my home town, but we'd send txt messages to each other every day/night seeing what the other was getting upto and so on. We became good friends as we couldn't get anything physically between it. Which I liked, because I could have a chance to like his personlity without getting the feelings mixed up with sex.
Just after my birthday in Feb we met up for a few drinks in the local club when I was back in my home town and had usual chit chat the conversation flowed well. But he had to rush off for some reason, but sent me a msg asking to catch up before I left town. I had to leave town a day later so we were unable to chat up.
But for the next month throughout March our friendship got better, we chatted on the phone at least 4 nights a week for 2 hrs and did the usually txt msges and talked online.
I was realising that as our friendship progressed I was slowly letting go of my ex who I was going out with for 4 & a half years. Which was a first for me as no guy that I've ever dated has been able to help me get over my ex.
Finally he asked to take me out on a date when I would be in my home town in April, I was excited to finally go on a date and actually sit down and really get to know him one on one. April 9th he picked me up and took me out to dinner, the conversation was flowing nicely and it didn't seem like there was any awkwardness between us. The night ended and we ended it with a kiss. He dropped me home and then texted me saying he had a great time! The next day it was the usual text msging asking what I was getting upto on saturday night, i had my friends 21st birthday but he had hoped he would see me out afterwards.
When I was out he msged me to meet up out to have a drink, we did and instantly he was very affectionate despite there being a lot of people around he had no problem.
We realised that we had a fair bit in common as well.
Throughtout getting to know each other he had mentioned his past relationships and how he was tired of being hurt by girls as I was tired of being disappointed when I'd be dating a guy and it would never go anywhere. We both stated that we were looking for something more serious.
The following Sunday night, he picked me up and we watched a movie at his and I met his mother. He was being very affectionate even though his guy mates were hanging around us. Which I thought was really nice as I always have trouble with finding a guy that has no problem being affectionate infront of his family or friends.
We slept together that night but it was very nice & intimate, it felt right. And after he was very affectionate to, usually I find certain males that I have slept with don't want to form the the bond by being affectionate.
I left my home town to go back up north and our relationship stayed the same, we still talked every single day. I came back down to see my bestfriend for her 20th on April the 16th the following weekend and ended up seeing the boy that Friday night. We spent the entire night together just chatting, getting to know each other better.
I was in the process of moving home so there would be no problem for us to become official.
On Saturday morning I left to go to my fathers house and throughout the day he txted me constantly hoping to see me out. I went to dinner with my friends but didn't end up seeing him out on the town but went home very early.
Sunday morning he msged me hoping to see me on Monday as I was having a longer visit, but this is where it all started to change. We'd make plans but he'd never go through with them, when he said he would call but forget I could see that our relationship was slowly changing. The amounts of times we saw each other became more limited, every 4th day he'd come through with actually seeing me. He couldn't understand why I was so upset at the fact that he didn't call or send a simple text message, I assured him that the last thing I wanted to do was take him away from his friends. We started fighting because I wanted him to be more reliable when he would make plans and when we'd spend time together it was usually not happy. I started saying things like 'your just like every other guy that only wants one thing then they get over it' he argued back saying he definately wasn't like any other guy and said he'd prove me wrong.

We still talked every single day for the next week and did the usual phone chats when Thursday the 22nd of April came around we spent the night together, we were supposed to be going out on a date instead we got into an arguement about where we were heading. He said that it changed how he felt when I started becoming more demanding and by being upset all the time, but the only reason I became this way is because I wanted to spend more time with him and hoped he would as well. I misunderstood what he said when that he didn't want a relationship and I became emotional at the fact that I was so tired of giving my heart out and the guy not feeling the same but he reassured me that not right now that he doesn't want a relationship but it might change within a month. I asked him if we were aloud to see other people and he said no so assuming this was when we were officially 'seeing each other' stage. I assured him that I was heading up to Syd with 2 guy friends and that he had nothing to worry about but I could tell he wasn't happy. It seemed that the relationship was slowly getting better as he still made the same amount of effort to talk to me every day and still phone me. Saturday the 25th I was off to Sydney with my best friend and 2 guy mates when he had called me up that morning to have a chat, I told him that I was heading up to Syd with the bestie and 2 guys and he seemed to be a little upset about it all.
Sunday arvo I saw him at 2up(its a game you play on Anzac day) at one of the sports clubs and we chatted for about half an hour, i met his dad and another of his good friends he was still very affectionate.

I didn't see him for a week but we still talked everyday, April 29th we chilled but it didn't feel the same. I still liked him but I felt like his heart wasnt in it. He was still affectionate and kept asking me what was wrong I said 'nothing' he wanted me to stay the night but I wanted to go home. When I left he gave me a hug goodbye and kiss but I was really hesitant because I felt like I was giving more then i was recieving.
I txted him saying 'it's not the same anymore' he replied 'im sick of you always sookin' i msged him back saying 'we hardly see each other anymore and im only like this because its changed.." he replied saying... that he wanted the happy girl back that i used to be.. The text msges go on but basically he threw back in my face that I scared him because I became to serious to quick. I basically said that he was the one that told me he was tired of being hurt and that i thought i'd be doing the right thing by not leading him on.
I don't know what went wrong, it seemed so right and then went so bad so quickly. I still like this guy a lot but I am so hurt that his feelings could change so quickly just because I wanted to spend more time with him.
I msged him on the 1st of May telling him that 'i hope we can have a fresh start because I hate how it has all turned out'. I don't want to lose this guy as a mate entirely because we had a great friendship while it lasted. But he didn't replied until tonight saying he hoped that I had a good weekend! I didn't reply.
I don't know what to do, whether I should cut him off entirely or try be his friend still. Because I still like him and I still see hope for us but I'm not sure it's worth waiting around for.

Please help any advice will be much appreciated as I am totally lost to what to say or do.

[xxazurexx]

I don't know what went wrong,

He told you what went wrong. You became 'clingy' and 'demanding' of his time, rather than just let things progress and naturally.
The fun girl he was attracted too, suddenly disappeared and was replaced with some needy woman who was trying to place restrictions on his time.

I think that too often, women make the mistake that a man may automatically want and what she wants. Women tend to want rush things and think of it all as a relationship and long before it is, whereas men don't.

Just because you may be ready for a relationship/wanting to jump into a relationship, doesn't mean he is. Sometimes it takes time and for people to figure out what they want from it/where it is going. And when you pressure someone with clingy and needy ways, that is when they tend to 'back off.

You should never sleep with a guy and before a relationship has been established. Just because you sleep with someone, doesn't mean it's a relationship or that the guy is obliged to you in any way. You have no right to try and place demands on his time nor expect him to dance to your tune and because you slept with him.

If you don't want to end up in a similar situation in the future, I'd suggest that you make it CLEAR what it is you expect from a guy and in the early days of knowing him and before sleeping with him.
That way, everyone knows where they stand and there is no confusion as to who may want what.

[tiredoflove]

Thankyou for that! Your advice really helped to make things more clear
He has tried to contact me for the past 2 days but I am not to sure what his motive is behind that..

[Mr. Turtle]

Motive??? Simply, slow down. Its okay to do 30kph in a 40 sometimes.