Father Dearest

[TAVS]

Not sure which section to post this in, so I just picked one.

Not sure how things work in 2010. Do guys still need to ask the Father for permission to propose to their daughter? Obviously you dont have to, but is it still the respectful thing to do?

[dono01]

It is gentlemanly and respectful I think. I asked my wife's father, and he very much appreciated it.

[the_robot]

Umm.. we live in the 21st century, fathers have no vote on that choice. Only the wife and husband do..

[dono01]

Umm.. we live in the 21st century, fathers have no vote on that choice. Only the wife and husband do..

Robot, it's not wether or not they have a vote... It's more of a respect thing. I think it's implied that you are GETTING married, it's more of asking for a "blessing" on your decision.

[Gigabitch]

This depends completely on the girlfriend's relationship with her dad. I think my father should be thrown under a bus, so asking him for permission would never have been appropriate. If they're close, I think they would both love it.

[vashti]

Not sure which section to post this in, so I just picked one.

Not sure how things work in 2010. Do guys still need to ask the Father for permission to propose to their daughter? Obviously you dont have to, but is it still the respectful thing to do?

Need to? No.
Should you? Yes. Unless she has no relationship with him.

And congratulations!

[lifeistooshort]

Good question.... I don't get on at all with my father, so would not be required. But on the whole, I think it would be correct and respectful thing to do. You will score brownie points with the in-laws, as well as your wife-to-be ;-)

[Sonrisa]

why father though? i'd like to be asked as well!

[vashti]

why father though? i'd like to be asked as well!

Probably because the mother would be more likely to say "hell no!"

[dono01]

It's becaue Dad's are the Kings of the castle.

[TAVS]

Probably because the mother would be more likely to say "hell no!"

*Gasp* Dont you know, everybody loves TAVS?

[Junket]

I think I'd pass out in any attempt to make such a request to her father.

[dono01]

I think I'd pass out in any attempt to make such a request to her father.

To be honest, I was scared to talk to my wife's father about it.

Now, I know he's like the least intimidating figure on the face of the planet, but at the time. Whew!

[Junket]

To be honest, I was scared to talk to my wife's father about it.

Now, I know he's like the least intimidating figure on the face of the planet, but at the time. Whew!

That's just it, he's a really nice guy and I get along with him, and I'm sure they'd love nothing more than for me to propose (It's been 4 years and they're pretty conservative).

But still.

I don't think it's so much asking, as it would be like...sealing the deal. Like, now the family expects you to follow through, too.

How terrifying.

[lahnnabell]

Despite my estrangement from my father, it might be nice to know that the guy I'm in love with still wants the approval of my father. As you said Fras, it's a bold request and implies that you intend on following through. I'm currently very slowly mending the relationship I had with my father. Not sure if it'll ever get close to what it was given some of the horrible things he's done... Somehow though, I know he loves me or he wouldn't still be trying to talk to me after my years of silence. I do respect that.

However, my father never really showed an interest in my dating life ever. He never cared enough to really find out anything about the guys I was dating, and that hurt. Like he couldn't have cared if I got impregnated by and ran off with some drug dealer or whatever.