Permission

[coffeeshop]

I have an absolutely wonderful wife. I love her dearly and would never cheat on her. We get on very well as friends and as husband and wife. Now the thing is she has given me permission to have a BJ from someone else if it is safe and there is no other sex involved and especially no relationship.

In actuallity, she's clever because A) she knows I can't lie B) she knows I will be honest and C) I won't cheat. So yeah, she's given me permission, but she knows that I would have to find someone and just ask for a BJ and nothing else. Yeah, that girl exists.

The back story is that I enjoy sex a lot. Want it a lot and I like all other aspects of being intimate, all foreplay etc. Only thing is, she's not into the BJs. She does give them though about once a week. Sometimes every other week. Now, I know I really shouldn't complain and in fact I don't. But a while back she said "you know, I'd just as soon have someone else do this." I joked yeah right but she said she was serious.

And not overdoing it, she has mentioned it a few times over the span of a year. We talked and she said her feeling is that it wouldn't bother her. Sex and a relationship would. In fact, I've always thought I would never cheat. I don't want to. I love her. I don't want a relationship and not into sex with someone else. But if a woman offered a BJ, I'd be thinking hard about it.

So, I guess I'm wondering about this. I mean, is it ok? Is it something anyone else has done? She told me under no uncertain terms, if I could get one to take it. But I'd better not do one thing else or she'll cut certain things off.So she's given me the permission but I'm torn between really liking the BJ idea and the fact that I love her so much, I don't think I could do it even if she gave her blessing.

Does anyone have a similar arrangement? Or is it right for me to do it if that's all I'm looking for?

[Junket]

Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

You'd better find a really ugly woman that's awesome with her tongue, otherwise the temptation may be too much to bear.

I am not condoning this in any way.

[coffeeshop]

I'm thinking the same thing. I mean, I know it's not a trick. We've been together long enough. I know she's serious. She's even mentioned taking a vacation to Nevada for a weeks worth of legally purchased ones. I couldn't just go out and find one in town. I just don't see that as a reality. It's too weird and awkward.

[coffeeshop]

And I'm also aware that at 2-4 a month, I shouldn't complain. Again I don't. I just really enjoy them of course. And I always offer so reciprocate. In fact I perform oral every time with her. I don't know if this whole arrangement is because she feels guilty about that? I don't hold it over her at all.

[QueenofCorona]

Sounds like a test. No matter how cool she says she is with it now, I call shit hitting the fan when and if you do get a knob job from some random. That or she's getting a little something on the side and is saying this to free up her conscious.

[dewilliams2]

Yea don't do this....like everybody is saying...even if she says its okay I pretty much guarantee that if you actually did it she would not be okay with it.

Just be happy with what you are getting....truly you yourself have pointed out that isn't bad...I know a lot of guys who are married who are lucky to have sex once a month...I'm actually almost afraid to get married after a few horror stories. I hope if I do get married its like your marriage.

Speaking of horror stories...where is incognito?...I think he could have something to say about this....and then he would probably cry....poor guy.

[coffeeshop]

Yeah, actually I'm thinking of turning it back and telling her I got one when I get home. Just see what she says. That is if I can pull it off. I have just never been able to lie to her.

[bah]

So, I guess I'm wondering about this. I mean, is it ok?

If she is okay with it and you are okay with it: go for it. But be aware that it takes 3 strong people (you, your wife and the other woman) to all have strict boundaries, be trustworthy and trusting. Also, the temptations to go further are definitely going to be there. Be careful! I would think long and hard about this because it could end in disaster for your marriage.

[coffeeshop]

She may be testing but I know she's not going elsewhere so that's good. You'd have to know the past to understand but some examples. There are some kinky things I like, she doesn't but will do. And when we had our child she said she wanted to get the tubal because in her words "if anything ever happened to me, like a car wreck, I'd want you to be able to still have kids if you wanted them. I'm done having them."

I honestly sometimes don't know how I even deserve her. She says I've done all this stuff for her in supporting her and stuff. But it's never been some disfunctional thing. She's just that in love with me and sometimes I don't know why. But I do agree with the posts so far. I just don't think I could do it. Even with a BJ every other month, that's more than some friends I have. I should be greatful. and I am.

[coffeeshop]

@bah ... yeah the thing is she's already established that if I did, it's not to be someone we or I know. No friends or anything like that. Has to be either a pro at a bunny ranch or a random thing at a bar. And yeah the risk to go far may be there, but it's small. I really, and I hate saying this, maybe someone can tell me if it's wrong, I really LOVE the BJs. I mean, I don't tell mywife this, but I'd just as soon have them over anything else. Don't get me wrong I like the sex a lot too. But with another woman, I'd be very selfish. Sounds bad. And that's probably another reason I wouldn't do it. Like I said, I'd have to tell them. I just couldn't lead a woman on to a BJ and then be like "thanks. See ya." Maybe that makes me a pXXXy. Don't know. Just couldn't do that to someone.

[bah]

I honestly sometimes don't know how I even deserve her.

Awwwww. No wonder you're married. Looks like she got a good one, too.
I'll tell you a secret, though. Go out and buy her flowers. Come home and tell her you don't need an extra blow job by another woman. She is all you need. Watch her melt!

[girl68]

Don't do it. You don't even seem to WANT to. Maybe a tiny part of you inside wants a BJ but with all the risks it isn't worth it. Enjoy what you have...

[lilly1185]

Yet another set up from an s/o.

Don't do it. Buy a fleshlight,
accept that BJs aren't that big a deal if she's delivering a million and one other ways in the bedroom,
but do not, under any circumstances, get involved with another woman, even if it's just orally.

Although, that is pretty strange, I can't fathom allowing another woman to touch my boyfriend, I would just as soon choke on a cock than think about someone else doing it. Queen, you may have some merit, hun.

[Gigabitch]

If she wants to go to Nevada and watch you get blown by hookers, does she think she'll never have to give you a blowjob again?

Do you go down on her?

Does she not understand that she's not the only person who would be emotionally affected by this? Permission or not, you would be cheating on your wife. Cheating. The idea that you could do that and just continue on with your relationship as if nothing happened is ridiculous, especially because you seem like the kind of guy who would feel guilty about using someone else's mouth for pleasure and start blurring the lines between blowjobs and having a full-blown affair, whether you ever had intercourse with her or not. You would get emotionally entangled, wouldn't you?

If you're going to do this, tell her you only are willing to go to a professional to avoid emotional complications and invite her sincerely to come with you and watch. If she has a problem with watching, she has a problem with you doing it.

[Kaius]

dont do it. try to work with her if you really want regular BJs.
going outside would lead to something else eventually. dont even go there.
demand shorter BJs. I know women get tired fast when sucking on a cock for 10 minutes.
try to have her do it for a shorter period, and change it up a bit over time.
If this is not possible, then just forget about regular BJs. It's not the end of the world.