Difficult choice...

[blackstar]

If you had the choice to be with one of the following two people, who would you choose:

Person A - A person you dated for 4+ years that you loved and wanted marry. You had a tumultous relationship, but you've never loved anyone else like you loved them and know you never will. It ended due to immaturity and hurt on both sides.


Person B - A person that loves you wholeheartedly, would do anything for you, is everything you've ever wanted "on paper" (you can even say, is everything you wished Person A would have been), waited patiently for you for years, and you know would never do you any kind of wrong or harm. You're attracted to them, you like spending time with them, but you know in your heart that it will never be anywhere near what you once had with someone else.

And if you didn't have a choice... but you still felt this way about Person B... would you stay? Or go thinking you might one day find another Person A?

Hopefully that doesn't come off too complciated... Believe me, if I explained the whole story, it would be a book. I just keep going back and forth with things and am wondering how others would feel.

Thank you.

[nahNiku]

Take every chance you can!

But how can you say: "it will never be anywhere near what you once had with someone else". Are you so sure what will happen tomorrow?
What i want to say is that you can never know what comes next...

[lahnnabell]

Why are there two people in love with you in the first place? Sounds like you've been delving into sketchy territory with a long-time friend while having a girlfriend/boyfriend.

[xxazurexx]

Look....no other person I met to date, ever compared to my 'first love' who we could call Person A and so far I have never found with anyone, what I had with him.

I married Person B. I'd loved him, but the feelings were not as strong for him, as they had been for Person A (the first love)......however things were good and I was happy.

If I'd had to put my love life on hold and until I found Person A again, I could have been looking forever.

Not that I 'settled' and because like I said, I did love Person B and enough to marry him. Given a choice I'd have chosen Person B and because I could rely on him......Person A (the first love) I couldn't and despite how strong the feelings had been.

I reckon that most people have that 'special someone' either from their past or whatever and they havn't found anything that compared. However, that doesn't stop people from going onto other relationships and finding something just as good, or better.

But if you want to wait around for another Person A....feel free

[girl68]

Take a chance. You clearly don't love person B enough to commit the REST OF YOUR LIFE to this woman.

[MM894]

Personally I'd choose person B for most of the reasons xxazurexx listed. My issue here would be that from the fact that you're asking other people, you might consider choosing person B to be "settling", which ultimately is going to be a bit difficult to definitely work out. If you want to give person B a shot, great, do that, but it shouldn't be with the regret of not having gone for person A, because that will bite you in the butt at some point if you're planning on spending the rest of your life with one of these people.

[blackstar]

@lahnnabell - Things with Person B did not go past friendship level until my other relationship ended. I am currently with Person B, howver I am questioning if it was the right decision to start a relationship with this person.

@xxazurexx - Thank you for your response. It makes me feel better that someone has a similar situation. That's exactly how I feel. It's just scary and weird to me to be with someone that because I love them "enough"... but I guess that is how it will be.

Thanks for the other responses as well

[xxazurexx]

Well the difference in our situations is, is that I didn't go straight from Person A to Person B.

I've always taken time out from relationships and when one has ended. That way I am ensuring that I am not carrying any mixed feelings or baggage over into the next relationshiip.

By the time I met Person B, it was almost a year after it had ended with Person A. I was ready for something new and I met someone new

And isn't that how committments are formed....because people love someone enough, to want to committ?

It won't be 'fireworks' with everyone you meet and form a relationship with - we feel different things for different people and often there is something else other than 'fireworks', for us to want to committ.