Ok Im confused and dissapointed

[Jigga]

Alright ladies I've got a question, ok I was just with my ex for 3 weeks and we seemed to be doing amazing for that short period and then she asked me about my ex fiancé and if I still cared about her, well of course I wanted to be honest and stated the truth, which is I still do care to the point where I hope she will be happy wherever her life takes her but I don't want to be a part of it anymore, i told her I wanted to be with her not my ex, she said she was glad to hear that and I was single the next day... She tells me she cares about me and likes me alot and loves spending time with me but dating is just not gonna work for us right now, now I'm not all weepy and depressive but I do like her alot and care about her and want to continue the relationship, so what should I do? cut and run, Or try the friend road hoping she'll change her mind?

[girl68]

She didn't give you a reason? Are you speculating it was becasue of what you said about your ex?

[xxazurexx]

Maybe she was looking for a reason to end it with you, hence why she has mentioned your ex. Deliberatley trying to cause an argument perhaps?
She didn't get the reaction she was looking for, as you were all nice about it, but she's still gone ahead and ended it.

Or she could be just pissed that you still have feelings for the ex.

[Jigga]

I do believe it's because of what I said because before this happened she was happy as could be with me, and all of a sudden dating isn't gonna work out right now? But sh still wants to be around me all the time and talk to me all the time, so I'm just really confused because usually when a short relationship ends for me and we do the friends thing I don't hear "I really care about you" and "i like you alot" or "I still want to spend time with you" so do you think that maybe in a month or so she'll come around, or should I just tell her being friends would honestly hurt more because the reason for ending this was stupid and I would prefer to be with her or nothing?

[xxazurexx]

I personally wouldn't do friends with an ex, if I still had feelings.
If you want to however and for the time being and to see what happens next, then go ahead but just don't be as available to her as you once were - give her a lot of space.

Giving her time alone and plenty of it, may help her to figure out what she really wants.

[Jigga]

Thanks azure that sounds like a good idea, I just Hope things work out she's the only girl I've wanted to stay with after having sex since my ex fiancé

[lahnnabell]

What a headcase. I hope she really wasn't looking to trip you out with a stupid little mind game like that.

I dunno what to tell you. Remaining friends with her in the hopes of "getting her back" isn't a very smart move. You may be just setting yourself up for some hurt if she starts dating some new guy. Best to just give her space. If she misses what you guys had, she'll get in touch with you, and you can go from there.

[Jigga]

Oh and I left this out but this might bring more insight into my problem, she did tell me and the mutual friend I met her through that I need some time on my own to get over my ex I can't believe I left that out

[girl68]

I think this is simply just a difference in personality. While I can understand you always (always...) caring for an ex becasue she was such an integral part of your life. But she sees THAT as you still love her. She is completely unable to realize that the care you have for your ex is a far cry from having "feelings" (ie longing for her) for your ex. She thinks that becasue you care for your ex that she (current girl) is second pick; nevermind trying to convince her- she cannot phanthom this "caring".

You're the only person in the world who knows if you are ready to love again and she in the one who has to decide if she can be with a guy who has had a previous very serious relationship. I think you should cut her off. If she whines about it you should stand your ground and explain (again) the difference between what you feel for her and what love is. Do not let her dictate your feelings for you ex. If you're over her, you're over her. This girl is not allowed to tell you to go away until you're over her. If she cannot accept that, I think this girl is not the one for you.

[Jigga]

That is some very good advice, I do appreciate the blunt honesty even though I don't wish to cut it off but mixing your advice with the advice of makin myself less available as in I'm to busy hangin with the guys or working out when she calls sometimes sounds like a good course of action, but how would I blend that into letting her know I still care about her and would get back with her if she wanted to? Like I want her to know she's the girl I want to b with and I care about her but just talking about it and trying to say it never works she just avoids it

[cheeze_guy]

you know i was gunna post some shit and ask a similar question but the truth is being single for a little while after being in back to back relationships for many years because it worked out that way I am starting to think that dating is all about trying to find the girl who is actually worth your time... I also believe that if I feel like that and I'm not saying you do but that a girl who is looking for a good guy if she see's something she doesn't like she will back off very fast. The way I see it is that either you can lie and say you don't care about your ex and be good with this one girl or be real with yourself tell her the truth so she can decide that is what she wants and move on better for you because she doesnt want that and you are being honest... I know i am probably not answering your questiion but if you really want to persue her try to be her friend and see where that goes. I personally hate that shit because if it doesn't work out I feel like I wasted my time on a gal who doesnt even give a shit about me anyways. I feel frustrated because I don't want to go girl to girl trying to find the one that could be a forever so am i supposed to just wait for the right girl to come and be patiently hap[py with all these girls who wanna be friends and feel like they are using me for all my amazing qualities without actually needing to be attached... again im sorry if this is so far off topic