would like some outside eyes

[kristi99]

Hi,
I just have basically broken up with my boyfriend, we were together just over a year and it was wonderful. I had a previous marriage that was horrible and abusive. There is times when I was scared what we had would end, and I'd be insecure about us, id say probably three times in a year. He hated that, says I should be completely confident always about us, and I said why cant you just give me the reassurance I need? He says no its not his problem. He says I need councelling for this, or we are over. He said I am his soulmate and he wants to marry me. Seems to me if i am his soulmate he could help me through these things, but he has no interest. I realize its his relationship and he can have whatever demands he wants, I just am curious if anyone believes if he truly loved me hed work through these things with me, not force me into councelling (which I am not saying is a bad idea, but to threaten to leave me if I dont go?) .

Any thoughts appreciated.

by the way he has many flaws that i find hard to deal with , that I deal with beause I love him he is controlling and jealous, but I deal with it.

[vashti]

I think you owe it to all current and potential partners to bring an emotionally healthy self into the relationship. If you are not emotionally healthy, you need to fix that before connecting with another person. It isn't fair to expect them to be your shrink.

Sorry.

[Sonrisa]

That's exactly was I thinking. If you have issues then it would be better to vent to girlfriends since guys find it awfully annoying.

[cmacattack1]

Yup, you should be self content with yourself before entering a relationship. And jealousy and controlling should never glaring problems in a partner either. I'm sure anything is better than the horrible abusive marriage you popped out of though eh? Try and forgive yourself for putting up with all that abuse and find your self worth again, it will make it easier on any of your future relationships.

[xxazurexx]

Sounds to me that you were not ready for another relationship and have carried over the baggage from your past marriage into this one.
Why people rush to be in relationships so soon after another, totally and utterly baffles me ?

[Gigabitch]

I suggest you get some counseling, but not for him, for yourself. After some of that, you may come to realize that he was no soulmate.

[kristi99]

I dont recall saying I jumped from one relationship to another. I divorced my husband six years ago, and this relationship started in 2009. Hardly jumping. thanks for all replies

[xxazurexx]

I dont recall saying I jumped from one relationship to another. I divorced my husband six years ago, and this relationship started in 2009. Hardly jumping. thanks for all replies

Well in that case, my diagnosis is that you have major and deep rooted issues, that you will probably carry over into every relationship you go into, unless you seek counselling.