GF's ex; Reaction about moi

[Kaius]

I don't know how often people deal with their SO's ex, but I anticipate this will be a life-long interaction when kids are involved. My woman told her ex-husband about me recently. He got really curious, because guys just like to probe to see if their ex found a guy who is "better". It's an ego thing I'm sure. So she told him: "Chinese, 5'9", medium build, handsome, corporate Controller for a billion-dollar company, divorced with 2 small kids, very different from you." This is all just basic accurate info. His reaction was, "how do you know he's a good dad? how do you know he won't do that Asian male dominance thing on you? How do you know you can culturally integrate the two families...white and asian?" She just laughed. She was laughing so hard when she told me. To her, the ex-husband's response was so out there, she couldn't take it seriously.

I suppose if my ex-wife found a man whom she is considering long-term relationship or marriage, I would probe a bit just to make sure he's not a sicko. My kids are little, so I would have to find out if the man has abnormal tendencies. This is just precautionary as a father.

Has anyone out there ever had to deal with your SO's ex? What's the experience like?

[bluesummer]

Well I don't have kids with my ex and neither does my fiance with his, thank god. However, my ex was very perturbed about me getting married again. He would make nasty little comments about having a "rich guy who could take care of me" and stuff. As if. He still calls me to try and get me to come visit my ex-parents-in-law, and tries to make me feel guilty by asking me why I never call them and telling me they miss me and junk. Argh.

The key is just ignoring the negative stuff. Exes are always jealous. They may not want the person back, but they always want to make sure that their former SO hasn't 'traded up'. It's a silly ego thing.